• DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone
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    7 months ago

    I’m very happy and living as well as anyone could hope for.

    There was probably a lot of luck involved. Including having a good upbringing, supportive parents, decent education. But I also worked very hard to improve the things in my life I was unhappy with. Then I think the last bit is just gratitude for what I do have. I could spend months focusing on how I don’t have a yacht or private jet, or whatever, and be unhappy. But it’s so much better to appreciate what you do have. A good partner, a nice home, great food, a healthy body, an inquisitive mind. Access to the internet with all the good it has to offer.

    I recommend focusing on and appreciating what you already have.

  • viking@infosec.pub
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    7 months ago
    1. Well - yes
    2. Happily - mostly
    3. Embodying my values and dreams - mostly

    How it happened? Mostly by chance. I’m good at what I do and work in the medical industry for a small company that actually strives to help people rather than maximize revenue, and compensates employees very fairly, allowing me to live well and in accordance with my personal values. Nothing is ever 100%, but I’m mostly satisfied really. Of course there are some days where I dream of running a coffee shop in Bali, but that’s just one of those days.

    As for the second part, I’ve got a great partner, great friends, and sufficient free time to do what I enjoy. I’m just living in a city I’m not particularly fond of, so that leaves room for improvement.

  • DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com
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    7 months ago

    Yep. I didn’t feel this way for a long time, then realised it was because I was married to the wrong woman. She was heavily influencing the sort of man I was outwardly portraying, and it always felt like I was wearing a badly-made suit.

    After the end of that marriage, I met my soul mate, and now have two wonderful stepkids and an incredible daughter. We’ve now been together for a little over 11 years, and I’m still amazed at how lucky I am. My family gives me purpose and meaning, every day.

    After that, nothing else matters.

  • 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    Absolutely not, no. How should this be possible with all the external responsibilities that need to be fulfilled in order to survive in a modern-day society?

  • schmorp@slrpnk.net
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    7 months ago

    Ever since I’ve accepted that dystopia is already here, and there’s nothing to avoid it, but we can do everything in our power to create something better. I’m not as afraid, I’m not feeling as powerless as I used to. I’ve learned to seek good council, that helps. Got over wanting to feel or appear important and now rather want to do important work.

    How? Got divorced from someone who could not handle their anxiety well, also my child grew up to spend more time with their friends, and so all I was used to disappeared. I had time and opportunity (or was forced) to re-evaluate my life choices - because the unhealthy imbalance in my former relationship mirrored the unsettling imbalance of the world in crisis in some eerie way. It was as if I was shown the workings of abuse and then forced to apply my learning onto the world and my position in it. I went through months of doubt and confusion. With support of my wonderful bf who I met on the way I managed to come out a better and more happy person on the other side, it was a very wild ride.

    This or similar seems to have happened to a lot of people recently.

  • ninjan@lemmy.mildgrim.com
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    7 months ago

    Yeah, for the most part. I’m working towards my dreams and they feel within reach even though I know the path there is both long and arduous. It will require a lot of me, but that is more due to what my dreams are than any circumstances around me.

    How it happened is of course a hard question to answer. In some ways, perhaps many ways, dumb luck, I met my wife in an unlikely place and she has built me up brick by brick over many years by now. Without her it’s hard to imagine I’d, we’d, be in such a good place all around.

    But that isn’t really helpful, focusing on the parts I had no and have no control over. If we instead look only on my actions I think there are a few but more importantly a few key insights that helped me:

    Actions:

    • Fake it till you make it. Confidence is all important in our society, if you don’t have it naturally then you need to fake it. Over time it becomes second nature.

    • Take care of yourself, first. Like they say in the preflight security rundown, put on your own mask first before you attempt to help others.

    • Take responsibility for your own well being. Related to the one above but this is more on the emotional level, while external factors will of course impact your well being you don’t have direct control over them. You can’t expect anyone else you make you feel good/well so you need to shoulder that burden.

    Insights:

    • You rely on society and it relies on you: while work sucks and is often times completely meaningless and seemingly detrimental to the world from a long term macro perspective it’s still the case that your dream life involves amenities and comforts that require people to work. And you can’t expect that of others unless you yourself put in the same effort.

    • You aren’t in control and you never truly will be: while this might be a hard pill to swallow you need to make peace with the fact that you could get cancer the day you reach your ultimate goal and that’s just part of this reality. You can only impact your actions and improve your chances, you can’t guarantee shit. Celebrate your victories no matter the source of them and learn from your own mistakes but don’t let external circumstances crush you.

    • Life just isn’t far: relates to the above. Some people smoke and drink and do copious amounts of drugs are still wildly successful and rich and live to 100. Some work their asses off, are the nicest people ever, live clean and healthy and then die in cancer in their 30s with two young children left behind. Dwelling on this solves nothing. It’s just a part of our reality and isn’t really meaningfully changed or impacted by politics.

    Those are my two cents

  • yuuunikki@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 months ago

    Lol no. I’m too embarrassed to share why I think this exactly but yeah life will never offer me what I truly want so I find it kinda a waste of time

    • ⲇⲅⲇ@lemmy.ml
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      7 months ago

      It’s not a waste of time, you live once, you die forever, once dead, you will have all the time you have lost in life. Anyway, even if this life sucks… it’s the only thing we have to feel, often we fall on depressions but normally people that is able to be online posting here, they are often better than 90% of the people on the world, you probably have food and everything you need, and you can do much more or much less as you please. Bad feelings/depression often blind ourselves, so be happy and motivated even if you are depressed, those bad and good feelings are just like leaves moving by wind, they come and go as they please. Often our depression and lack of happiness is caused by our gens and survival instinct.

      • yuuunikki@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7 months ago

        Don’t pull that “uhh other countries don’t have this or that yet you do be grateful” guilt trip bullshit. Telling me I’m not allowed to feel sad etc because others have it worse? Fuck off

        • ⲇⲅⲇ@lemmy.ml
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          7 months ago

          Nope, just saying other people has less, and they can be as happy as anyone. What I want to say is that most of the depressions is mental, happiness is proven than it’s 45% genetics or like that, I don’t remember now, but the difference between someone happy and someone who gets depressed often are mostly the genetics.

          So what I am saying is, there are people that has less than you, and they have fun and are happy.

  • haui@lemmy.giftedmc.com
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    7 months ago

    Living Well, happily and embodying my values and dreams. Thats quite a lot of things at the same time.

    I struggle to define living well. I‘m well off compared to less privileged people and the opposite for more privileged people. I‘d say I‘m doing well considering the cards I was given in life.

    I‘d say I‘m reasonably happy for the situation I find myself in. I would like to be happier but I allow myself to be unhappy about things that re not okay with my surroundings and the world.

    Embodying my values couldn’t be more true. I basically live and die for my values. I help other people, fight for them if need be, I educate folks, actively make the world a better place. I‘m honest where it does good.

    My dreams have changed a lot from when I was younger. I used to think I need to be rich and famous because the TV said I must. I became reasonably wealthy and somewhat powerful. Then I found out that it doesnt do you any good. So I pursued love instead. Now I‘m not as wealthy and not as powerful but I am a lot happier and influence more people to be happier and healthier themselves.

    Thanks for reading, have a good one.

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    No. Money is why, and a work situation. Also never ever get married if you have even the slightest red flag about them. It’s not worth it.

    I know I’m a generous person at heart but I get so few opportunities to show it because of money. It’s infuriating.

    • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      You can be generous with your time and empathy and people will tend to remember it more than money. It’s easy to be generous with money when you have it. It’s not as common to be generous with kindness.

      I don’t know your work situation to know if you have time to spare (when others are available) but I hope you have time to at least enjoy your own life. Also, not getting married due to red flags is a good reason to not get married. It sucks to not find your a person for yourself but it’s honestly better than dreading going home.

      • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        I work 830-9 pm every weekday and generally 10-4 every weekend. I do my best but I really don’t have much time to be generous either. Thanks for your kind words though. I ended up sick this week when it’s my vacation week so I feel even shittier than usual.

        • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          That sounds awful. All of it. I hope your work hours are reduced to reasonable at some point soon, and I hope you don’t need to worry about money when that time comes.

      • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Lol. I have never done crack. This moniker stems from when I was in a Rocket Arena clan many ages ago, where the clan name was [CRACK] and I was known as Happy for my giggles as I rail shot people from across the map.

  • Azzu@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    Absolutely to everything.

    It happened because I kept re-evaluating all of my beliefs, changing my mind all the time to include values, principles and beliefs that are conducive to answering yes to these questions.

    Also, learning more about the world, especially human behavior and the human psyche.

    I have absolutely no attachment to any of my beliefs, any kind of new information gets incorporated into my belief set and changes how I think about things. Depending how impactful and credible the information is, the change is bigger or smaller.

    One big belief is that it’s not necessary to have any dreams or goals at all. Or, if I do have one, that it’s completely irrelevant if I reach or don’t reach it. Most people can’t comprehend living like this, it requires a “support cast” of various other beliefs that makes this one possible.

    But yeah, to answer “how’d this happen” correctly, I’d have to tell you my whole life story, which I can’t even remember fully, lol

  • NONE@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    I am, but not in its entirety. There are still a lot of things I would like to achieve and a couple of other things in my environment that I dislike quite a bit, but overall I feel satisfied with myself and who I am today; something that a few years ago I couldn’t claim even if it cost me my life.

  • whaleross@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Depends. I’m homebound due to an accident and illness several years ago and can’t take part in activities or have a social life like I used to while I feel like I’m getting older and missing out on so much.

    But then again I’m very fortunate that I have insurance so that I don’t have to worry about economy and I’m pretty good at making the best of my situation and have projects going so I feel I’m moving forward even though in other directions than before and at a highly reduced pace.

    So… It could be better. But it could be so much worse. To be honest, I feel way more thankful for what I’ve got than sadness of what I have not.

  • FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    7 months ago

    By most people’s standards I’m not living well since I’m a little poor / frugal, but I’m happy. My dream as a teenager was to move to the west coast and start a new life. Well, just after I finished high school my dad kicked me out to use my room to start a new business or something and since I was already homeless, I headed out west. That was years ago and I’m now still living here in California with an apartment I love and a job I don’t hate. Not the wealthiest but beats those 3 months I was homeless and living in scraps. I also no longer have the friends I wanted to move here to live with because they ended up being pieces of shit, but I like my roommates and still have internet friends so I’m happy with life.

    • jkrtn@lemmy.ml
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      7 months ago

      Removing all the pieces of shit from your life is a great idea for personal wellbeing. I hope you continue to thrive.

  • Bluefruit@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Im pretty happy but due to ADHD im never really satisfied with what i have currently in a sense.

    I’m very grateful for my job, my current living situation and my partner but im always looking forward to new projects and stuff that i wanna do. I finish one thing and i really like that and then i move onto the next thing cause i feel like i have to. Just cant sit still for too long.

    How it happened is i just got lucky. I got a good family that helped me with a place to live, my buddy helped me get my current job in an IT adjacent position, and i met my gf on tinder when she was just about to leave the app for good.

    So yea, just kinda got lucky. I do work hard too and struggled alot with ADHD and other mental health issues before getting diagnosed so im glad things worked out eventually.