Gail gave me an unsatisfying handy under the table. She was just mashing it.
Worst family reunion ever.
Honestly it would have been fine if she tried using anything other than chunky peanut butter as lube, we all know poodles are chompers, not lickers
I’m very aroused.
They said I was some dumb hick…
Passed the mashed potatoes before I even asked for them. Dinnertime was absolute madness at our place.
A precog perhaps?
That or someone who’s ever met me or even glanced at my physique to know that YES, I will definitely be having some mashed starch fruit 😁
Potatoes are delicious! And they have loads of potassium 💪
Nightshade crew representing I see. I assume potassium was named after potatoes, or vis versa.
Potassium is named after pot ash, if I remember correctly.
I did this to a friend, no idea how high up their “weird dinner shit” list this sits.
I was in kindergarten when I got invited over to stay over & the mom served broccoli.
I hate broccoli.
I tried ignoring the broccoli, no dice. I tried telling the mom I was allergic, no dice. I tried trading in the broccoli for more bread, no dice…
Out of options, I begrudgingly ate a piece & knew immediately I couldn’t stomach another, so I did the only logical thing an illogical kindergartner knew to do….
I stuffed the broccoli in the couch cushions…
Yes, I got caught. Their dog sniffed out my stash.
Ha, I had a similar story at a similar age. I went to a friend’s house for a sleepover. They said they were having broccoli, and I actually liked broccoli and was excited about it. Then dinner comes, and I get this tiny tree looking stuff. 🥦 That’s not broccoli! I tell the mom.
She looks at me like tf kid? “That’s broccoli Raiderkev.”
6 year old me had only ever had frozen, chopped, cheap broccoli that was boiled to mush by my mom. I tried to be polite and eat it, but I just couldn’t because in my dumb 6 year old brain, this was NOT broccoli. I took a few bites, and I think maybe because it was like sauteed fresh broccoli, and actually cooked well it had more firmness to it. I think the stalk hit my gag reflex or something, either that or my body just couldn’t stomach it, and I threw up all over their table. I felt so bad. Needless to say, I never had another sleepover at that house.
Aww, that’s a shame! The kid I was hanging out with became one of my best friends & still is.
And their dog was always glad to see me…
Ha, he went to a different school shortly after and we didn’t talk for years. I actually reconnected with that friend years later, in middle school and we were close in middle school/ high school, grew apart in college. I did crash at his house a few more times in those later years without vomiting everywhere 😂.
For me it was fish that I couldnt stand, and I tried to hide it behind the laundry machine since the standard punishment for not finishing dinner was sit in the laundry room until it was gone.
My mom was a nurse who worked in geriatrics and so one day she came home from work and cooked us a big plate of spaghetti and started telling us about how elderly people with dementia would have no control over their body and would snot on their hands and then rub it on the the handrails in the hallway.
She should talk about how she kept on over and over again touching bare-handed massive piles of gooey green and brown snot while we’re all sitting around the dinner table trying to eat spaghetti.
Haha this just reminded me of a time when we were visiting a family member at one, and an old lady asked my sister to hold out her hand for a gift, and then plopped come canned peaches into her outstretched hand.
I was the dickhead once. I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner to a family’s house I did not know until that night. My autistic ass really did not understand dinner manners at the time since no one had taught me. The cook asked me how the turkey was, and I was proud to authentically answer, “Dry.” They then told me to put gravy on it, and everyone started laughing. I thought they were laughing at me because I was too stupid to put gravy on the turkey. Nope. Now, I think they were laughing at me because I was too stupid to know to lie and say it was good, or perhaps they thought I was a bold person. Oops! 😆
Happy autism acceptance month! 😀
Orrrr they might’ve laughed because they were thinking the same thing but couldn’t say it.
A couch surfing hippy my room mate let stay with us for two horrible weeks decided to make some oily vegan garbage in our stock pot for a “thank you dinner”. I took one bite and almost puked from all the veggie oil she used. I asked if I could skim it off the top of the pot and she got all pissed, grabbed the pot and tried to flush it down our (only) toilet. It immediately overflowed a bunch of oily, undercooked, and flavorless crap onto our bathroom floor. There was much more drama after that involving an expensive bike, an ex boyfriend, unpaid roto-rooter bill, a rental steam cleaner, and new rules involving house guests. bonus: she used all of our food to make it, she bought nothing herself!
Man… What a shitty situation
Storytime?
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Nice, that’s exactly the kind of stuff I was thinking of!
I have a telescope-fork I take with me on family gatherings.
Sounds more like a weird thing you do to others than something weird done to you but I’ll take it!
