Stuff like “god damn”, “fucking hell”, etc. Anything that stems from religious sources. That includes fudged varieties like “jeez/geez” and “heck”.
And to clarify, this isn’t some attempt to avoid blasphemy or anything. I’m not particularly religious and would rather rewrite the neural pathways for those “defaults”, but haven’t been able to come up with satisfactory alternatives so far.
*To clarify further, I’m all good with most other curses (shit, fuck, ass, etc). I’m not trying to be inoffensive, just non-religious.
I think you’re going about this the wrong way. If you’ve ever heard a quebecer curse, you know that religious curses are the absolute best.
I had a franco sergeant in basic training; this charismatic 22nd-regiment killing machine who got seriously next-level expressive one day and all but peeled the paint off the walls. I knew a lot of French back then, and I only caught most of it as it was so fast, so angry; it was snarling and visceral and seething for 0715.
What I did catch was religious. All of it. I’m surprised I’m alive today. I’m surprised I wasn’t brutally murdered on the spot. I’m glad I wore the brown pants.
I think you’re severely limiting yourself by leaving that nuke in the silo; that’s all I’m saying.
I’ve started saying “death” as a curse word
I like the in-universe swears from some of Brandon Sanderson’s fantasy novels: Rust (rusting, rusted) and storms (storming) come to mind.
A québecoise roommate of mine got her whole office yelling “chicken FRITE” (fried chicken in franglais).
“What the shoes” is kind a fun one. I’ll also yell “fudge knuckles!” which doesn’t really mean anything but is pretty satisfying to say.
The Wheel of Time has some great ones too.
Blood and bloody ashes
Mother’s milk in a cup
Son of a goat’s left stone.
See also: Battlestar Galactica
Oh and Firefly, although a lot of that is in Mandarin.
“Kiss me where the wind blows”
Just use Russian swears
I got tired of trying, live in the Bible belt and grew up with all those words as my lexicon.
God damn, oh god, Jesus christ, etc. If anything feels good because religious people dislike it lol
I know a pastor that will say “mother father!” in lieu of motherfucker
To be clear, it’s a tongue in cheek nod to motherfucker as well.
Blood and bloody ashes
I feel you OP. I do feel silly saying “oh my god” as a reflex utterance considering I’m a lifelong Atheist lmao.
There’s gotta be something better than sarcastic takes like South Park saying “oh my science!”
My mom always hated god damnit so I started saying “Dang-ol’ dingus dangit” and it’s stuck for half my life.
Kid friendly, has a satisfying rhythm, silly enough to difuse some of the frustration, and usually gets a laugh
What about fictional or ancient religious swears?
- by the power of Ra!
- may Zeus grant mercy
- by Grabthar’s hammer!
- thank Thor
When I’m in a gaming VC I sometimes swap in setting-appropriate swears.
What about political figures?
- thanks Obama
What about cringy internet/gaming references?
- God damn -> mods ban
- thank god -> thanks chat
I can do this all day!
Shitting biscuits!
Foamy gushing twat!
Wank spanner!
Rancid gobstopper!
Plump juicy ballsack!
Piss on a stick!
Sloppy jizz mop!
Spunky pus bucket!
Smeary shit stain!
Thirsty cock gobbler!
Greasy prick spasm!
Fuck a duck!Frack. Dank Farrik. Sleemo. Kriff.
Here’s a dictionary of them. - https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Fictional_English_curse_words
Gorram it I knew this post made me think of Firefly for some reason.
Fucking fuck
Fucking shit
Wtf
What the shit
Fuck me
I mean there are endless combinations
Sometimes simple is best.
Just say “fuck.”
Oh, I do. Shit, fuck, ass, etc. No problem with those, just don’t like religion hogging up neural pathways.
So replace “fudge” with “fuck.” Unfuck it all.
“Fudged” in the body wasn’t a swear replacement. I was using the word as a word.
I didn’t even realize that, I was just using it as an example.
My point is: don’t replace bullshit words with other bullshit words. Just use the normal words and stop pretending. Say fuck. Say shit. Say hell damn ass cunt. Tell anyone who decides to act offended to get over themselves.
