Got banned on lemmygrad because of relationship advise. Basically my relationship advice didn’t match the moderator’s and a couple people’s stance. That’s ridiculous. Therefore, I’m looking for a good instance without sectarianism, circlejerk and mods that abuse their power.

  • eatham 🇭🇲@aussie.zone
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    8 months ago

    The things you say you want are the complete opposite of lemmygrad (and hexbear). I’d avoid lemmy.world, apparently the mods there abuse their power, and the fedi is meant to be spread apart, Lemmy.world is getting a bit big. I don’t see why you should go to a Lemmy instance specific to politics, but the only ones I know of don’t follow any of the things you want. I’d say to join a general purpose instance, maybe one in your country? Or you could join a topic specific instance like the programmer one and the various star trek instances.

    • AchtungDrempels@lemmy.world
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      8 months ago

      avoid lemmy.world, apparently the mods there abuse their power

      Would you mind to explain this in a bit more detail?

      • Lath@kbin.earth
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        8 months ago

        Having been here and there and back again, every instance has its zealous moderation depending on the topic.
        .world being large, the staff don’t have time to care about individual cases and are focused more on removing the conflict. It’s less about correctness and more about keeping the peace.

        • AchtungDrempels@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          Are you guys talking about moderators moderating comms on world, moderators who have a world account and moderate a comm somewhere, or world admins? I assume the latter, because that would make a bit more sense.

          Are there any specific outrageous examples or did @eatham@aussie.zone just read it somewhere like i have now?

          • Lath@kbin.earth
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            8 months ago

            Hearsay and gossip on my part. Haven’t been banned on world yet that i can remember, so I have no personal details to give.
            But if you have time to waste, scroll through the mod log where available and feel free to agree or disagree with the actions taken.

  • s38b35M5@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Looks to me like you got (temp) banned for posting apparent incel comments in a hateful way. Not to mention your advice was exactly what the OP said they were avoiding from their own friends.

    Perhaps reading the room is a good start before you click reply. Doubling down when called out for hateful comments will rarely go well, and defaulting to name calling and reducing well-received advice to a “lib salad” (whatever that means) won’t either. Perhaps stop behaving like the internet is some place where manners and respect are optional, and you’ll feel more welcome wherever you go.

    I’m not trying to call you out or rehash that relationship advice here, only pointing out that you can disagree with people politely if you truly do desire respectful discourse. I hope you reflect on the ban and the comments replied to you. The world needs fewer, not more hateful incels or “alpha males.”

    • hodja_nasreddin@lemmy.worldOP
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      8 months ago

      Why are you lying, bro?

      Looks to me like you got (temp) banned for posting apparent incel comments

      Not temporary. “Incel comments”? What is is, exactly? Who are you to saying that? Some sorts an expert on incels? Or am I not allowed to have an opinion different from the crowd, or else I’m an incel? All I said was that if a guy still has feelings for this girl, he should move on. Not trying to “play her friend” and torture himself emotionally (because he won’t be able to pretend it didn’t happen and communicate like he used to. All the comments in that thread were very idealistic, obviously written by people with no such experience. I wrote a realistic comment and got banned.) There’s nothing hateful or incel or in any way rule-breaking here. It’s more like you left comments reminiscent of incel “nice guys” on social media.

      in a hateful way.

      And what was hateful about my comment specifically?

      and reducing well-received advice to a “lib salad”

      Because it’s wasn’t “well-received” at all. You were literally trying to gaslight a man into a friendzone. And not to mention, you reducing my advise to “incel comment” as well.

      I hope you reflect on the ban and the comments replied to you.

      I was just reflecting that lemmygrad, is a circlejerk full of hypocritical people who ban their comrades for the slightest deviation from their beliefs. For those who call themselves leftists, they are as closed minded as possible.

      The world needs fewer, not more hateful incels or “alpha males.”

      What’s that got to do with me? Stop projecting yourself onto others.

      • s38b35M5@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Not temporary.

        Looks temporary to me:

        No interest in engaging with you further. Good luck, comrade.

        • hodja_nasreddin@lemmy.worldOP
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          8 months ago

          It didn’t show up on my screen. Either way, I’m not going back to a place that doesn’t allow even a semblance of normal discussion without labelling someone.

    • amio@kbin.social
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      8 months ago

      Rekt

      … but no, no, I’m sure the ban was due to the relationship advice. 8)

      • TORFdot0@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Yeah that take wouldn’t get you banned from lemmygrad, surprised they didn’t make him a mod for that take tbh

      • hodja_nasreddin@lemmy.worldOP
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        8 months ago

        Rekt

        How so? It just shows how obsessed the weird ukro-cult here. The situation here has nothing with disgusstion about Ukraine, but you’re still dragging it into discussion and giving your bad takes about it. Can you rightists please leave my topic alone? It’s not about your political delusions.

        • Mr Fish@lemmy.world
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          8 months ago

          the situation here has nothing with the discussion about Ukraine

          The situation is you’ve been banned. They’re just suggesting a reason you might have been banned. One that is imo pretty believable and reasonable.

          Unless you got told by the lemmygrad mods that the ban was about your relationship advice, we’ll keep saying you were banned for the Ukraine comments.

          • hodja_nasreddin@lemmy.worldOP
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            8 months ago

            The situation is you’ve been banned. They’re just suggesting a reason you might have been banned

            Dude, I literally wrote the context in the OP post that got me banned. What does this have to do with my comments on lemmy.world about politics? What do they have to do with lemmygrad? You are just trying to bring Ukraine into the discussion where it is not discussed at all. It’s pathetic. Also, do you really think that outside of weird libfest here anyone else is a support ukro-regime? I’m going to disappoint you. Guys on Lemmygrad against azovite too.

      • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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        8 months ago

        Yes, a state with a Jewish head of state and the actual Nazi parties not even reaching any significant numbers in polls & elections is totally a “Nazi corrupted state”. The shit that Tankies say…

          • DarkThoughts@fedia.io
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            8 months ago

            Literally nothing I said in that thread is “russophobic” let alone linked to Nazism. lol Also, nothing in my previous comment was my opinion but literal straight up facts, which you could’ve easily looked up yourself. You seem completely delusional with your alternate reality facts.

  • Corroded@leminal.space
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    8 months ago

    If you want specifics like that you may want to pick a smaller instance.

    It can be hit and miss whether you’ll have issues until you try

  • The_Lemmington_Post@discuss.online
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    8 months ago

    Human bias is a pervasive element in many online communities, and finding a platform entirely free from it can be akin to searching for the holy grail. Maybe look into self-hosting an instance and punish moderators who don’t follow their own rules.

  • boredtortoise@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    Maybe a general instance which has access to most of Lemmy or beehaw for a more curated experience