Image description: Black, all-caps graffiti on a wall that reads “I’m fucking fed up and tired and I want to die but living is the most punk shit I’ve ever fucking done”

I experience suicidal ideation a lot, and grappling with that is tricky when so much of what is dragging me down is a function of the unjust world. I feel swallowed up by the enormity of what I can’t change, both for myself, and for others.

What gets me through is solidarity, and correctly directed rage. My late best friend learned a lot from being friends with me, and would often end up outraged on the behalf of people whose plight he had learned of. It was good rage though, he didn’t make it about himself and actually through him, I realised that because I felt so powerless, all the negative feelings had ended up being directed internally, which wasn’t good.

It’s not much, but I’ve found refuge in acknowledging how fucked up the world is — even embracing the fact that The System™ would almost certainly prefer me, and people like me, to not exist. I’m so tired, and it’s fucked up that just existing takes so much effort, but it feels a little easier with the understanding that even on my shittiest, low energy day, my life is an act of active resistance. Good old punk spite helps me by.

By not blaming systemic issues for my problems regardless of whether they are the cause because I have no control over them…

I manage by being scandinavian. It’s not as bad here.

Same asking for France, Europe,

Unfortunately you, as american, drive my world oh f. Hell.

I don’t, actively on meds and therapy to stop my self from unaliving my self, can’t really do anything to helpy self because nearly all things require money and disability thinks sense I can fold laundry I can automatically work full time anywhere.

So. No I’m not and there isn’t shit I can do about it but wait for them to say I’m not disabled yet again.

And before anybody says anything I’m doing everything that I can do without money to get disability or a job or anything.

I got a Quest 3 so I can just not be in the real world. I’m typing this with my virtual paws while floating in space right now.

Not being American and spending locally.

Combined with climate change I’m reading up on subsistence farming. I remain hopeful green tech will keep gaining steam but its still gonna get worse before it gets better

solarpunk, social ecology, degrowth, permaculture, anarchism

Ongoing recontextualization of myself in a larger historical and existential framework for starters. Then pulling from non-dual traditions in order to find a sense of acceptance and appreciation not bound by moment to moment conditions. Finally, reaffirming the values from which I want to operate and as best as I can not letting myself devolve from them. Also, occasional drugs qua vacation.

Lots of sadness around the fact that it could all be so much nicer

Recognize that a lot of what you’re suffering from is, well, suffering; that it’s part of the human condition and not really specific to one historical epoch, country, or economic system. Sickness, poverty, cruelty, envy, selfishness, domination, and other woes have been with us for much longer than economic or political modernity.

People have been investigating how to alleviate suffering — in the general sense — for a very long time. There are whole philosophical and social movements about it, which have proposed strategies such as —

• “Love your neighbor; forgive those who have hurt you. Feed the hungry, heal the sick, comfort the afflicted.” (Christianity)
• “Avoid killing, stealing, lying, raping, or getting drunk. Seek out wholesome companions. Maybe do some meditation.” (Buddhism)
• “Pursue a simple life; try to avoid pain rather than seeking out pleasure; don’t worry about gods or politics.” (Epicureanism)

I looked into moving to other countries which made it very obvious which skills were worth cultivating, changed careers accordingly and moved somewhere (in the US) that isn’t fully car-dependent until I could accumulate decent savings/investments. This was pre-covid and “orange pilling”, I just kinda lucked out

And, no, none of this was easy, just easier than saying “I’ll accept this without a fight”

Working with members of my community to solve problems and make life better for everyone.

By not buying anything I don’t have to, not taking on debt, avoiding subscriptions, contributing to and availing myself of mutual aid societies, and growing as much of my own food as possible.

Hoping beyond hope, that in a few months I might find a job that allows me to leave the state that is actively working towards the genocide of my kind, before it gets worse.