36yo, I’m in the middle of tunnel currently.
I’m a spoiled, privileged shit. I have a very nice family, good friends, money to live comfortably in a big city. But my life is miserable still: after a succession of failures, I hate my job and suffer painful lonelyness, and I’m too shy to do what most normal human beings do.
I’m almost out of depression but I’ve yet to go through the reinvent yourself part. I feel like I’m going backwards.
I feel like that’s the opposite of what the question asks. Ask me to delete if needed.
I started drinking at 13. Blacking out weekly by 15. Full blown alcoholic in 20s. The problem was, I was fairly successful so it was hard for me to admit I was truly fucked up. I managed a good career, family, friends, house, etc. I drank until blackout daily. In late 30s is when the true around the clock drinking started. Morning, noon, night and throughout the night. DT’s. Started taking Xanax to fight off the anxiety caused by around the clock drinking. That was it. That’s when I lost control. I had a moment of clarity after days of straight blackout during the first month of Covid quarantine. I asked a friend who had been sober for 15 years for help. Went to rehab. Took it seriously. Spend 2.5 months away from my family. Came back determined to live a life of sobriety and focus on family and career. I’ve got numerous promotions, my family is great and I’m 3.5 years sober and work daily to stay that way.
Tldr; lifelong drunk. Got sober at 40. Best decision I’ve ever made.
Also managed to be pretty functional while blacking out nearly daily (at my worst), and interestingly enough, the anxiety during the hangovers (which became pretty much any time in between) is also what finally caused me to turn the corner.
Where I started
Where I ended up
Image descriptions
1st image: - A heavy set person who appears to be a man, in baggy jeans and a t-shirt, leaning against a wooden handrail, holding a laser skirmish gun
2nd image: A curly haired woman in makeup, wearing a teal coloured dress
Congratz!
I feel like I need to do more than just post a picture. In this case, the picture really does tell the story in a lot of ways, but still, there was a lot of pain and trauma that led me to this point.
I started off depressed and angry, lost in life, knowing what I needed to do, but feeling like it wasn’t something I could do. And when I finally accepted that I could do it, years went in to it. A quick photo makes it look like a magical transformation, but there was close to 10 years between those photos, and a lot of self discovery, self exploration and pain. As well as joy, and surprises.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m glad you were able to find your joy.
Hey, I just want to say thanks for posting this. I’m just a random internet stranger, but I’m happy for you. I think Fred Rogers sums it up best, he is the epitome of kindness to me.
It’s you I like,
It’s not the things you wear,
It’s not the way you do your hair
But it’s you I like
The way you are right now,
The way down deep inside you
Not the things that hide you,
Not your toys
They’re just beside you.
But it’s you I like
Every part of you.
Your skin, your eyes, your feelings
Whether old or new.
I hope that you’ll remember
Even when you’re feeling blue
That it’s you I like,
It’s you yourself
It’s you.
It’s you I like.
Ohh I love this one! Perfectly summed it up with the pics for me ;)
I was born into an impoverished extremist right wing family. I enlisted in the military back when DADT was a thing. I was disowned as an LGBT teenager, and medboarded out of the military after being committed to inpatient facilities multiple times. After that, i was homeless for a couple years, living out of a car and then a backpack.
I finally ended up in this little town in Georgia, got a job at a little retail store, and moved into a trailer with one of my coworkers. Her friends kind of adopted me and i felt accepted for the first time in my life. We were all broke kids, but i told them i was going to be a millionaire by age 30. I was still pretty emotionally unstable and eventually moved on from that friend group, but it gave me the hope i needed to rebuild my life.
I slowly built a career for myself after that, working 70-80 hours a week for a couple years, until i had my foot in the door. It got a lot easier after that. I didn’t quite hit my goal by age 30, but I’m close. I founded my first company at age 28, and raised a 10 million series A. My company is now worth 60 million on paper, but of course that’s meaningless until we IPO. But it’s profitable, and in the meantime, I’ve adopted a little family of people like me, and built a comfortable life for us. Life is good, and I’m content.
Now that you’re pretty wealthy has your family decided to become your best buddy now?
No, they refuse to speak to me to this day. My gf’s family called her to wish her a happy birthday last week, and i cried quietly wishing mine did that too.
Happy Birthday. Better late than never. We are here for you.
(Very?) Belated happy birthday! Your family are the people you’ve chosen to accompany you at this stage in your life, the other one, the one you simply happened to be born into, don’t deserve you. Lots of hugs!
