Sure, the first year (or two) of COVID were wretched, but most of those barriers have since cleared — yet I’m still struggling. I’ve noticed the same with a number of people within my family and neighbourhood.
How are others feeling? Are you struggling, yet succeeding? If so, how are you breaking through?
there are a lot of factors for me but i feel it, and i think a big part is climate change. i live in new england and it was 60 degreees and raining the other day, pretty hard to get into the holiday spirit when it’s spring outside.
Also, before the goblinos start, yes there are many places where christmas happens in summer, summer type weather, etc, but that is not how it was for me growing up and most of my adult life.
Seeing kids being butchered in Gaza or grieving their dead parents is definitely a bummer for me.
Yeah, today when playing my favourite (pirate themed) Christmas album for the first time this year, I noticed that it’s already the 20th…
Gona need you drop a link to this pirate christmas music
So it’s felt like this to me basically since I became an adult. For one, I work in an industry where the holidays mean nothing. And two, now I have adult shit to do, so there isn’t a ton of time to just sit around baking and watching Christmas specials and what not. Also can’t really stand the consumerist side of things and while I do like giving gifts as a thing, I don’t like the idea of “just buy some shit” or “whoever gets the most presents wins.”
Now all that said, when I think back to what used to make the holidays special for me, I realized that was adults deliberately making the holidays special. And the shitty thing about being an adult (unless your SO is like, from the Clause family) is that you kind of have to do that for yourself, and you’re probably going to have to do boring adult shit to make that happen. Like, you might literally be putting something like “Bake cookies/Watch ‘The Grinch’” into your calendar. There is a lot of little things you can do as well - play some music, get some scented candles, stick a bowl of decorative pinecones out, etc.
I think this also helps a lot with other people, or in my case, my kids. I don’t have a ton of friends (I’m very much a person with a small circle, but all people i know I can call if i need help moving if that makes sense) but we do some small get togethers. With my kids, I try to do more of the things that make things feel special for them. Lights on the house I could take or leave (back to being lazy) but I do my best and I put them up, even though it was just a few days ago because that was the first day that wasn’t pouring where I was at home when it was light out. I make it a point to watch some Christmas movies (and let the kids come to a consensus on which) and bake some cookies or whatever. We usually go every year to that neighborhood where every house has cool lights, even if that is an hour drive away. Lots of little things like that.
Anyway, I feel like the holidays are very much a “fake it til you make it” scenario. I tend to think about it like “what do I remember that I liked about holidays” when I was a kid, and then force myself to do those things. What I’ve generally found is that there are definitely times I’ve regretted not doing anything like that, but I never regret when I forced myself to do something like this, and I rarely remember the “forced” part.
Was just talking about this with a coworker yesterday. They’d noticed that in their neighborhood, the amount of decorations out were even less than the year before. No one left the area, just not putting stuff up anymore.
This is something I’ve felt more and more every year for all the holidays in the areas of the US I frequent. Halloween, Xmas, Easter, etc.
The stores are all decorated earlier than ever, but neighborhoods are barren.
I understand money is tight for many, but Christmas lights are pretty cheap and most people have old sets, it’s not like they’re consumable and need to be replaced every year. I wonder if people are just over it, don’t have the time, lack the spirit, or what.
I say all this as someone who hasn’t decorated for any holidays lately myself.
Because what is the point? I only bother with decorations because I have kids. After they grow up I won’t bother. Also yeah I don’t particularly want to get into it because it feels like I am taking the Christian’s side. They are sitting there putting women in jail for having miscarriages maybe I don’t want to associate with them even slightly.
bunch of sad people in here it seems like, to me it’s as simple as needing to actually make things feel christmas-y, you can’t just sit around doing the same exact stuff you always do and expect an atmosphere to magically materialize from nothing.
decorate things to high hell, play christmas music, eat christmas-y food, go to christmas markets, spend time just chilling with people.
i don’t agree that christmas is consumerist, you can just… not make it consumerist? like it’s not rocket science.
Same but my kids still love it so whatever. Ever since merry Christmas became something that has been made sound like a threat I stopped enjoying it.
Covid took so much from so many people.
I’m so incredibly lucky, covid showed me that I don’t have to work in a cube farm, I can do my job from anywhere. It crammed my whole family into each other’s business, now I know my kids better than I did before. I grew meals in a crappy suburban garden.
I lost a lot too, connections to extended family and friends. A lot of relationships died because I was afraid. People like me were dying and I didn’t trust that extended family to give enough of a shit about me to wear a shitty little mask from Amazon in public. (Which turned out to be right, they lied and ended up with covid) I lost some people who were very important to me, not even to COVID, just regular old cancer.
For me, the last few years have thrown what’s important into sharp relief.
I can’t control anything that’s going on outside my house, or even most things inside my house. But I can have Christmas trees up year round if I want to.
The trees and lights make the people I love happy too, which makes me happy.
My big dumb dogs make me happy.
That crunchy snow noise makes me happy.
The tip of my nose freezing in the wind while the rest of me is warm makes me happy.
There’s so much awful out in the world and I can’t really do anything about it. So I cling to all the things I’ve found that make me happy and I try to suck all the juice out of each and every one.
When you find the things that give you some warmth, grab them and hold on. Put your energy into the things that give you energy.
Maybe you’re just getting older.
If it wasn’t for my kids, I wouldn’t even bother with the tree.
I would say the first year or two of covid, where we didnt have gatherings, were the best christmases I ever had.
Cause its my family and the stress, irritation, and anger that comes along with dealing with them are what always ruin christmas for me.
I lost my dad to cancer about two week before last Christmas. And my birthday is a few days after Christmas as well. I’ll be damned if I ever feel like celebrating Christmas or my birthday ever again
My mother passed at the same time last year. It’s been a tough year and Christmas things are just making me sad this year.
You’re not alone in this and I’ve been told it gets better.
I lost my sister suddenly 2 days before Christmas in 2008. The joy came back — after a fair amount of therapy and contemplation — and over time, life grew around the gaping hole.
A couple of quotes that I keep near me:
Yet, in a bizarre, backwards way, death is the light by which the shadow of all of life’s meaning is measured. Without death, everything would feel inconsequential, all experience arbitrary, all metrics and values suddenly zero.
Mark Manson
When you dull pain and hide it from yourself, you dull your joys as well.
Robin Hobb, Fool’s Fate (Tawny Man #3)
All the best for this holiday season, and all the ones that follow.
Overused but a favorite of mine:
Gotta have opposites, light and dark and dark and light, in painting. It’s like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in awhile so you know when the good times come. I’m waiting on the good times now.
- Bob Ross
Could it be an age thing?
I’m 32.
I’ve had issues with it past maybe 3-6 years.- Listen at a Christmas radio
- Watch a Christmas movie/animations/cartoons
- Read Christmas books/comics
- Write your own Christmas stories
- Talk about Christmas
- Do your favorite Christmas’y thing
- Create a new Christmas’y habit
- Make a Christmas music playlist
- Create a Chistmas get-together
- Sing Christmas carols (alone or with someone(karaoke))
- Craft something Christmas’y
Listening at music, watching a movie and the radio has helped me reach some level of Christmas!
Looks like it will be a BROWN Christmas here this year. Which is a grim fucking reminder that we’ve fucked the planet and it is only going to get worse.
So. There’s that.
It will be a standing water Christmas for me
I wonder if this is true for others but I’m just not close to my family. I think most people have smaller social circles today than they did 10 years ago.
Without close family, there’s a lot less to Christmas.
Definitely just you and your circle
