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Hi this is your doctor. You should masturbate whenever you feel like it.
And that’s why I can never go to the IHOP ever again.
On the train and this guy just dropped his phone gonna see what’s on it
*gets a sext while walking past a kindergarten*
Uh oh
Doctor: you’ve had a stroke
Patient: how can you tell?
Doctor: from the handshakeI thought i deleted facebook
It’s still there sadly. Would be cool if you did.
