I have seen in many US shows where they portray guys who are living with parents as losers, or there are jokes or memes about it, I never get it.
It comes from the Individualism ideology that Western culture holds dear. Americans just hold it tighter. It can be argued that the cause of this is American capitalism, which has greater focus on measuring success by one’s ability to consume (can you afford it, how much can you afford, are you self-reliant, your ability to consume more and better than you did last year).
I’d add on that the expectation in an individualist society like the US is to become independent and move out. Those ideas are used synonymously in a lot of contexts. Someone who hasn’t moved out can be seen as lacking independence. Of course that isn’t necessarily true, but it’s the perception.
For a young person growing up with these ideas as the standard, there can be a certain safety in forgoing that independence. That was my situation for years, where I was financially independent, but moved back home after my roommates moved away. I was in my mid twenties before I moved out for good.
In 10 years, that will be the norm.
This dates back to when buying a house in your twenties wasn’t a crazy idea out of a science fiction novel.
Back when I was a kid in the early 2000s we still had the mentality that it was easy to get a good job and buy a house and love by yourself. So when a young adult didn’t, the stigma was that they were too lazy to get a great job handed to them.
Since at least the 2008 recession that really hasn’t been the case, but the culture hasn’t caught up, or was slower to catch up.
and love by yourself
I know that’s a typo, but making it easier to bring home hookups was, like, 80% of the reason for me.
It depends on your age. Living with your parents at 10 is different than 20 and is different than 40.
Ever since I was older than 25 or so, if I was going to go on a date with someone, if they lived with their parents that’s a huge complication. How’re we going to fuck? What if their parents don’t have good boundaries? How can I gauge if they know how to be an adult? Like, what if their mom still does their laundry and they don’t know how to take care of themselves?
It’s a proxy measurement for independence and being able to take care of themselves.
It’s a little different if they’re taking care of their parents. Still not great, but doesn’t have the “Do they even know how to take care of themselves?” problems.
Is it considered a bad thing? I haven’t seen memes or any modern shows joke about it
Yes ambitious young people view it as bad, and adults view it as bad in the U.S. Young person’s (for lack of better term) usually wish for a life with freedoms. Older adults look it as bad parenting to have a kid who hasn’t moved on to “adulthood” which includes independence in our culture. I see it all the time. My parents (Born in 61) hate on all parents and adults who still live with their parents.
Also with media making extremists out of so many people it is more unlikely (not impossible) to find parents and kids that agree on much with viewpoints which can cause a lot of termoil between families.
That’s really interesting and quite unfortunate at the same time.
I’m from the UK and have many friends still living with parents at 30, I don’t judge them for it until they say they start wanting kids. Imo you need a house and stability to grow into when bringing up children because it’s their life not yours you need to consider.
However I’ve asked them if they get teased or pressured to move out by anyone at work or within their circle and they all say no.
I can see how old 90s and 00s TV sitcoms target people “living in their moms basement” as losers but if you’re out in the real world and are able to differentiate badly aged media I think the situation on my side of the pond is absolutely fine.
Property is just as expensive over here and young adults need to save for longer. I didn’t move out until mid 20s, my boomer parents had a 4 bed house so I had my own bathroom and everything. It’s not considered wrong in eastern culture so there was no problem staying.
In fact I think I left one year too early lol
Sounds like common Americans lack education of the above and bully others directly, which is toxic. Ouch.
I never understood this. If rent wasn’t so stupid high I would’ve had my own place long ago.
It can be a bad thing for your parents if you are not contributing in any way. Humiliation doesn’t always help in promoting self-improvement but it is a social tool that establish social expectations. Producing value is expected in most societies. What changes is what value ought to be defined.
Why is being economically disenfranchised corrolated to not producing value? I could understand an inverse corrolation however.
That’s a different subject. Bringing the bacon is not excluded by what i said but contribution can take many different forms.
Producing value is expected in most societies.
How did you not connect producing value with ownership of property?
Think of art for example.
Art has value and needs to be produced. What is the conclusion you want to make about it with regards to ownership of property?
I’m not sure ownership of property was on the table. I was thinking more being dependent on parental support.
You are right that you did not mention being a home owner anywhere, but the inability for people to be so is a very fair reason to want to be living at home. That young people cannot be financially independent is a problem made by the older generations. The same young people may be working and contributing at home, without having said economic freedom.
Disregarding different societal norms, I find it interesting that some people don’t have the intrinsic need to gtfo to a more personal space, be it either nice or shitty parents.
Because they’re racist cult members and visits are awkward enough let alone living there. Might just be me tho
r/QanonCasualties . Lemmy doesn’t have an equivalent yet but you’re not alone
It suggests they can’t afford to pay rent. It’s an old stereotype that is kind of redundant nowadays since (a) most people renting can’t afford it anymore and (b) different cultures are way more accepting and even encouraged living with your family. Most people understand that now.
You still here the saying buts it’s more about NEETs taking advantage of family rather than being smart
How old are you?
Love my family, would hate living with them - just because we are very different people.
Fully agree with you there. I can never fully relax around family and it’d probably be a nightmare living with them.
They’re seen as not progressing through the expected stages of american life. It comes off as a refusal to grow up but obviously that’s not always the case.
I assume you are American, and probably not Hispanic?
Because these assumptions are extremely cultural.
Anyways, for white Americans “Self-sufficiency” (or Self-reliance as Ralph Waldo Emmerson called an extreme version of it) is an old Puritan value, like hardwork and lifelong monogamy.
Don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. You’re not off base. My family is Hispanic and my mom would love it if I lived with her till I’m 40.
Multigenerational living is also a big thing in Asia.
Not just cultural, but also time sensitive. If this were even 10 years ago then living with your parents would seem like weird, but today? Understand why it would still live at home or live with a person or multiple people even
I disagree that the culture currents have changed that fast.
If the economy recovered and gave much better prospects for young people and housing was cheaper, they’d still be expected to move out on their own.
I think people understand the realities of our current situation, but usually multigenerational housing is still not considered an ideal situation.
