I want to stress this - you are not a coward. You have to do what is necessary to survive.
There’s good advice in this thread - do what you can to set up an exit strategy, and exit ASAP once you have arranged safeguards to support your survival. The earlier the better, but if it takes time to do successfully, take that time.
You are not weak. You are not worthless. You are not beholden to this man for your long-term survival, even if it’s necessary for the short-term. If you so choose, when you leave he will never see you again and die alone and forgotten. The only purpose his memory should serve in that case is as an example of what not to do, or how to live your life. Survive and seek out as much joy as this world makes available, so you can dance on his grave and empty your bladder on it before leaving it to decay.
I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this - but it is not permanent. Please remember this.
I want to stress this - you are not a coward. You have to do what is necessary to survive.
There’s good advice in this thread - do what you can to set up an exit strategy, and exit ASAP once you have arranged safeguards to support your survival. The earlier the better, but if it takes time to do successfully, take that time.
You are not weak. You are not worthless. You are not beholden to this man for your long-term survival, even if it’s necessary for the short-term. If you so choose, when you leave he will never see you again and die alone and forgotten. The only purpose his memory should serve in that case is as an example of what not to do, or how to live your life. Survive and seek out as much joy as this world makes available, so you can dance on his grave and empty your bladder on it before leaving it to decay.
I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this - but it is not permanent. Please remember this.