• Saigonauticon@voltage.vn
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    9 months ago

    Not having a Facebook profile. I’ve had someone initially refuse to associate with me on the basis that they couldn’t investigate my life beforehand.

    I just laughed and asked them how they managed to survive before the Internet (we were both old enough). We both got over the weirdness of the situation, built a robot, and were friends for a while before they moved away.

      • Saigonauticon@voltage.vn
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        9 months ago

        Well, you can have one now, if you want!

        I usually build around the Pi pico as a brain, L9110 motor controllers, N20 DC brushed motors, and a standard 18650 lithium cell, and some generic BMS + switch mode voltage converters. From there you can either add sensors and make it autonomous (more challenging), or just control it via your smartphone (easier). You can either make it omnidirectional with mecanum wheels, (more expensive) or turn/forward/back motion only with a differential drive.

        Along the way you’ll learn to solder and code, if you don’t know already. It’s a suitable beginner to intermediate project. Most of the work is knowing what cheap parts work well together (read and interpret lots of datasheets), actually assembling and using the robot is pretty easy. Usually I can keep cost under 50$, but parts are cheap here – certainly under 75$ in the West though.

        • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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          9 months ago

          Well damn… Now I have another project!

          I have a Pi 3 sitting around that I used to use for Octoprint, but when I rearranged my workstation I didn’t have room for the monitor so I just went back to SD carding it. I picked up an end of service Chromebook that I was going to dump Linux on and make it my new print server, so the Pi is free.

          I’m going to end up with my own little astromech Droid!

          • Saigonauticon@voltage.vn
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            9 months ago

            That’s a bit overkill in terms of processing power, but it will definitely work! It’s actually powerful enough to do machine vision and mapping!

            One thing to remember is that the current draw for the Pi 3 will be much higher than the Pi Pico. Some students have had battery issues using motors + the Pi at the same time. They got the batteries in a sketchy industrial market here in VN though, so they were definitely not rated for very high current. This is one reason I use the Pi Pico and low power 6V motors – it runs all day of a single very questionable lithium cell. Boots in milliseconds too, vs. much longer on Raspberry Pi + Debian, at the risk of comparing apples and oranges.

            Another thing that was annoying, is to remember to put nonpolar capacitors across your motors if building your own motor controllers (most modules you buy will do this for you). Otherwise, noise from the e.g. brushed motors will probably make the Pi reboot constantly. I had this problem pretty bad – it worked fine hand-soldered but when I got the boards from the factory it would fail often unless I put the caps in.

            Anyway, if you’re short on time and want to get the project done, there’s also a thing called the Motorshield that will let you very quickly build a robot from the Pi you have. There are also LiDAR shields if you want to try mapping and fancy autonomous navigation. If you want cheap, you can’t beat this motor controller module though (and you’ll just need 1 for a differential-drive rover):

            https://hshop.vn/products/mach-dieu-khien-dong-co-dc-l9110

            You can generally find it anywhere in the world!

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    If a person can readily describe their failings it could seem like a red flag because they have failings, but everyone has failings and being aware of them is a positive.

  • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    When they mention that someone else is attractive. This is often seen as a red flag by people with insecurities but really it means your partner trusts you enough to actually mention such attractions. The state some insecure people want is that their partner is never attracted to anyone else but that is completely unrealistic. So the actual choice is between honesty and lies. And you do not want your partner to have to constantly watch every word they utter around you to coddle your insecurities as that will likely lead to worse communication between you in general. This goes for other topics as well of course but jealousy inducing ones are very common.

    • Riven@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      9 months ago

      My fiancee and I always point out good looking/hot people to each other. No trust issues, we’re both with each other because we want to. Nothing forcing us to stay together.

    • space_of_eights@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      What kind of society or culture considered being friendly towards children a red flag? Spoken as both a father of two and former child: you can be friendly to children without being a creep.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
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        9 months ago

        Spoken as a non-father it’s not so easy.

        I accept the risk because I refuse to participate in a system that cuts off kids from the adults around them, but I know that when I talk to a child I’m almost certainly going to be seen as a pedophile for it.

  • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Being on friendly terms with past partners is another one. Or for that matter cherishing the memories of the good times with those partners. A lot of people seem to think that after a breakup you should hate your ex forever and burn all pictures, throw away any object they ever gave you,… but that is actually quite unhealthy (unless abuse or stalking or similar things were involved of course). If a relationship does not work out that doesn’t mean that other options, such as friendship, might not be on the table and even if they aren’t that doesn’t mean you can’t treat each other like regular acquaintances when you randomly meet somewhere. Obviously they might not be an option immediately after a breakup but once time has dulled the pain a bit a friendship is absolutely possible with someone you initially shared enough interests with to try a relationship.

    • Damaskox@kbin.social
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      9 months ago

      I recall someone asking “Then why did you break up if you are good buds?”.
      Sometimes it’s easier being friends rather.

      Exes belong to life and memories as much as anyone in any other role. No need to forget them any more or less than anyone else (painful feelings and memories are another story).

      Sometimes you can take a pause after a breakup to kill feels and later come back to friendly terms.

  • Damaskox@kbin.social
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    9 months ago

    Taking some time to calm down during a fight if getting angry/sad/whatever.
    The other party might think that you are running away.

    Make sure they know that you continue once calmed down.

  • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Not talking all the time when spending time together. Being able to just quietly enjoy each other’s company sometimes is actually a good thing since it allows both partners to relax without constantly worrying about keeping their partner’s attention or keeping them entertained.

    • schmorp@slrpnk.net
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      9 months ago

      Currently sitting next to silent bf silently. We just grunt at each other for days in a row. Live with someone wanting constant interaction = hell.

  • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Making life choices different from the societal standard (e.g. not wanting children or not wanting a marriage). Sure, if your own desires are incompatible with that you might need to find someone else but a lot of people who do go with the societal standard actually just do so because they never thought about alternatives and have a rather romanticized notion of that default option and might still grow to regret it later which can then often lead to breakups/divorce if that only happens to one partner in the relationship. People who make different choices at least thought about what they want. Basically you want a partner who has already thought about these and not one who only discovers their actual preferences on these options a few years into your relationship.

    • Damaskox@kbin.social
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      9 months ago

      So many ladies have asked me why I don’t want kids that I needed to make a list 😂
      Copy-pasting is easier and much faster 😂

  • penguin@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    For people who value reading: if they have no books on their shelves. They might be avid readers of ebooks, or just use the library.

    But this should clear itself up with a rather simple discussion started by mentioning a book you read recently.

    • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      They might also just have bad eyesight or a job that causes a lot of eye-strain so they might prefer podcasts or audio-books.

    • VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca
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      9 months ago

      I love reading but just can’t, attention deficit is hard, and when I do have interest on a book/long text, I end up falling asleep two pages in, max three. I hate it ! I WANT to read this book bit keep falling asleep.

      • ChexMax@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Have you tried audio books? And then combining that with a different activity, like driving? Or it makes chores way better! Like I can only listen to this while doing dishes and now dishes don’t suck so much

  • Pantherina@feddit.de
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    9 months ago

    All these stupid “ignore them to seem attractive because interested = unsexy”

    Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.

    Having actively broken up a past relationship, knowing barriers.

    Hanging out with friends rather than you sometimes, which is really important “relationship time management”

    • 520@kbin.social
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      9 months ago

      Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.

      I find it absurd that virginity or lack thereof has any bearing.

      • Damaskox@kbin.social
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        9 months ago

        I guess it feels magical to be someone’s first.
        But as @otp said - experience brings knowledge of yourself and others and can make stuff more enjoyable and easier to do.

        • 520@kbin.social
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          9 months ago

          True, prior experience does bring prior knowledge of yourself, but for me, exploration has always been a key factor in a relationship, in all aspects. Like, what new memories did you make together, what unique things did you do together, etc.

          Exploration of the self should be a constant thing, and while it’s certainly no bad thing to have some basics checked off, that kind of discovery should be happening in meaningful relationships whether it’s your first or your hundredth.

          • Damaskox@kbin.social
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            9 months ago

            exploration has always been a key factor in a relationship

            Nothing wrong with that.
            We have new things to experience in other stuff of life too.

            .

            Exploration of the self should be a constant thing

            You can do it in many different surroundings and variables. Another situation teaches X better than another. Some situation might not teach anything.
            So, you can learn things about yourself in a relationship or after that never occurred to you before.

        • 520@kbin.social
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          9 months ago

          For sex-only relations, sure. For a full on relationship? Nah, it has no bearing. I’ve dated a virgin that was manipulative as fuck, another that has been the best partner one could ask for, and have had similar experiences with those that have had past sexual encounters.

          Their sexual past or lack thereof frankly doesn’t matter. You need to look elsewhere for substantial indicators of their character and your compatibility.

        • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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          9 months ago

          100%, people who fetishize virginity are fucking weird and people who “preserve their virginity” usually have some weird culty background that they’ll need to work through.

          Sex is just sex.

  • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Being a healthy weight - as misinterpreted by shallow young people that “want dat thigh gap”.

    • Nollij@sopuli.xyz
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      9 months ago

      “Thigh gap” doesn’t typically happen at a healthy weight. That’s usually a sign of being underweight.

      Do people still talk about thigh gaps? I know there’s still an unhealthy obsession with being underweight, but I thought that went out of style with Kony 2012.

    • Brad@beehaw.org
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      9 months ago

      Especially when it’s something that goes against “societal norms” like diet culture.

      • SSUPII@sopuli.xyz
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        9 months ago

        Close to where I was aiming

        Each and every person is born with a preference of how they want to be, including body size.

        Having a diet for weight loss when this is done in complete free will, safety and love for self should be absolutely celebrated. And the exact same is for having a diet for weight gain. As long as it’s for reaching what the person feels the most comfortable in being, that being (almost) any variation strong, thin or fat, it should be celebrated.

        What I was trying to say is the beauty of being happy in whatever body you are, or want to have. Everyone should be completely free to be the real them, and what they think suits them the most.

      • essell@beehaw.org
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        9 months ago

        Loads of people have habitual attraction to unhealthy relationship patterns.

        Being drawn to the same kind of asshole over and over can feel like a chemical green flag, wisdom and experience show it’s a red flag and things always end the same unhappy way

        • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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          9 months ago

          Fair enough, but it’s not like you should pursue people you don’t find attractive or have any chemistry with. That’s more of a self-red-flag that you need to work on yourself before get out there.