I think I got a crush on my dance instructor. Which fucking sucks for all the obvious reasons. Normally I wouldn’t be so worried. BUT I JUST HAD A GODDAMN ROMANTIC DREAM ABOUT HER. Seriously I just woke up from a dream about her confessing her love to me and me eagerly doing the same about her.
So how do you stop a crush from developing further? Because this is a well from which only disappointment may be drawn.
I find my crushes go away on their own after about a week. Your mileage may vary.
The advice People give in the comments it’s absolutely funny, it reeks of people who never leaves their house, or is women giving advice or some western Buddhist bullshit about letting go.
or is women giving advice
?
Unless they are self aware their advice is shit
Yeah, instead you should whip your magnum dong out and tell her to get to work. Be a man! Whip your dick out! Bitches love dick.
You have a smooth brain, don’t go exposing yourself to people. see? All this advice is garbage.
Come out of the closet as asexual and aromantic and the issue will disappear like a puff of smoke.
NOTE: this strategy could have negative consequences if you live in a country that doesn’t recognize LGBT rights.
I first read that as “asexual and aromatic” and I was like, … Well, i guess if you don’t like sex and you smell like garlic…
Even my keyboard thought I meant to say “aromatic”
Would asexuals really have that bad of a time in a country that is not that supportive of LGBT? I don’t think not wanting to have sex is seen as bad by people who dislike LGBT?
Any religious argument against LGBT folks works just as well on Ace folks. (Which is to say they don’t, but the people making the arguments think they do)
In my country especially (it’s Morocco), so many people think it’s a bad idea to not get married and not have children (which requires sex anyway) simply because it’s so engrained in our society to do that. Blame the state religion.
Idk why, but when I told my dad I wanna be celibate, he called me an atheist, which I’m not.
Also, asexualism is technically a part of LGBT, just in a very secondary manner. If people know about the full picture, they’ll start threatening you.
Tell her. Then she likely rejects your feelings, and you distance yourself from her to kill the feelings.
This is what I was thinking.
Either she rejects and that’s a big turn off for the very obvious reason of her not wanting to be with OP (or it should be), or she accepts and it could be great. Nothing to lose.
Yeah. It’s super scary but it’s really the most optimal route. I fell in love with a friend, told her, she said she doesn’t feel the same way but we still remain friends and after a period of awkwardness it got back to the way it was before. We live in different parts of the world most of the year so nothing would really change one way or another, but still, it was easier to get things out in the open.
Just should tell her in a non-creepy casual way and it should be fine.
That would most likely make being in the class awkward as well.
Lol that’s not even close to real awkwardness of letting romantic feelings develop to crazy levels and end up friendzoned or worse. We need to be men and avoid falling a victim to our own naivety.
Also, that’s also why I said to distance from her, which includes not taking classes with her anymore.
Shit yourself in front of her. You may need to prepare with laxative beforehand.
How the fuck did this get suggested twice?
I’m pretty much the same as you. I just do my hobbys or play games and such. You slowly forget about her, trust me.
Didn’t work for me. It’s been fucking 4 years.
Then I doubt it’s a crush.
What it’s then?
Play Baldurs Gate 3 and crush hard on your companions.
I saw your post the other day and didn’t have anything constructive to add (my instinct was to say ‘just see where it goes, but don’t force it to be romantic’, but I know so little about the situation that it’s hollow advice), but I came across this article in the NY Times that might speak to your situation. It talks about limerence, which is a new word for me. I say might, because it might not be what you’re feeling, but it’s worth a read regardless, and the tips on how to overcome it in the article seem useful (and have backing by different researchers, so they’re bound to have more material on the subject that would be potentially related to what you’re going through).
Gift link so no paywall: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/27/style/limerence-addiction-love-crush.html?unlocked_article_code=1.RU0.qcHQ.OMOM2nOkSCqy&smid=url-share
From my own experience: cut all contact with that person… which may not be viable in your situation.
I had a crush on a girl when I was 14, still do, It’s been 10 years. Havent seen her or talked to her for 8. Can a hypnotist or someone help.
Its not a deep crush now, but I still think about her OFTEN and am not at all over it.
Edit: jeez i wonder what it’d be like to be on the recieving end of that lol.
UPDATE: I JUST REACHED OUT AND SHE DOESNT EVEN REMEBER ME 😭😭. I FEEL ~
dead inside~Ouch. That sucks 😞
At least you know though. Maybe you can move on now. Hope so 🤞
Oh my brain will delulu itself into something I’m sure.
Yeah, I’ve found that learned anxiety that my brain has around crushes from my past is one thing time does not heal.
So it’s either quit dancing or develop romantic feelings for her? Q.E.D. I’m fucked.
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Yeah, salami, can you just switch classes? Or another dance studio, same course or something?
Yeah that’s actually not that bad of an idea. If things go south I’ll use this as a last resort. Change dance studios that is.
One thing that has always helped me stop thinking a crush is when I’ve gotten another crush. I’m not sure this helps you much though lmao
I also used to get crushes on people I met who I was platonically excited about, if I thought about them too much. Lmk if this is you and I can go into more detail
Time. Crushes are naturally a temporary infatuation. They pass given time. Have fun with the fantasies, but I personally would not suggest trying to actually hit on her.
It’s poor form to hit on people in their work places. If she initiates, that’s one thing, but I wouldn’t try anything otherwise.
To be fair, it would be unprofessional and in poor taste for the instructor to advance on a student/client.
Shit your pants during dance class. All possibility is dead.
People have weird fetishes my man
If all my years on Reddit have taught me anything, it’s this.
(ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง
2 methods that I can think-of that might work, quickly enough for you:
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deliberately develop a crush on someone else, like Lena Headey, or someone, whom you are not going to meet weekly, and
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deliberately imagine her having total romancing with someone whom you both respect, value, & wouldn’t violate-their-boundaries.
Obviously, combining these 2 methods would be stronger.
Salut, Namaste, & Kaizen
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In my experience, get to know the person, as a person. I see the crush as a separate entity from myself. The crush sees them as some unrealistic ideal superhuman, which falls apart when I take time to find out who the actual person is.
This assumes you have opportunities to casually chat without planning time specifically, or you can be in a regular part of group conversations.
I had a crush and had this like, a of who they might be.
Got to know them more and more, and… they’re exactly the person my imagination fabricated.
Anyway, we’re married and shit now. I wish the same for every person with a crush.
that is the ideal way it works out. It’s rare but awesome.
I see the crush as a separate entity from myself. The crush sees them as some unrealistic ideal superhuman, which falls apart when I take time to find out who the actual person is.
That’s pretty damn well put.
This assumes you have opportunities to casually chat without planning time specifically, or you can be in a regular part of group conversations.
There is maybe a tiny window. But it’s worth a shot.
Isn’t getting to know someone better the exact same path you would take if you like them too?
Didn’t hear any compelling reasons as to why an actual relationship would be bad. Having a relationship with an authority figure (teacher, doctor, therapist, etc) is taboo and often illegal, but if there’s really a connection there it should be doable to change up schedules or find new instruction so there’s no conflict anymore. Most of my crushes though have been very superficial and a few conversations dispelled the fantasy.
Run. It will likely not end well
