Today at work I was flipping some burgers as usual when a coworker yelled out to me “how to spell occupation” for some reason. She shouldn’t have even been on her phone and I don’t know why she asked me of all people to spell ‘occupation’ and why she needed to use that word in the first place is beyond me but that’s not important.
I tried to sound it out I just didn’t know how to spell it. There were like a bunch of other people they were all watching. I just broke down in tears then and there and ran to the bathroom. It was so embarrassing. I left like 3 hours early as I just couldn’t take being there anymore. I can’t stop thinking about it. I made myself look so stupid in front of everyone. I know I have to go back there soon but I can’t handle the humiliation and + I’m going to be in trouble with the boss for leaving early. I really don’t know what to do.
Update: I told my boss that somebody asked how to spell something and I didn’t know how to so I got emotional and left. He was understanding but told me never to do it again. Seems like everything is ok, right? Well, he asked me who was on her phone and I told him so now I think that girl got into trouble and now my coworkers are mad at me for being a snitch. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just know that English sucks. My coworkers, from many other countries, are baffled that their kids have spelling lessons here. In their language the letter is the sound always, and there aren’t things like: doubling letters, silent e and the multitude of pronunciations for ough (rough, though, thought).
Our brains haven’t evolved with the times. We get stuck on situations of perceived failure, a left over trait to aid in survival so you are prepared for next time. Your brain is taking it as wrong doing and thus shame of letting you ancient village tribe down.
It is easy to say this, and harder to make the mental shift; but you have to find a method to let these things slide. Like a way this laugh them off or IDGAF attitude. We judge ourselves harsher than any other person, once you get to a place where you don’t care about judgement from others, all the worry about a flub diminishes.