Get off my lawn
You look at your weekly pill container to know what day of the week it is.
I don’t heal as fast anymore. Cuts and scrapes turn into scars easier.
This. Mid thirties here and I scraped my wrist on a moving box about a month ago. Didn’t even bleed. It turned into a dark scar that looks like I tried to cut myself.
Sunburn too, I tan all splotchy now and you can feel the wrinkles forming around the burn in real time.
And fitness is totally screwed. I hurt the arch of my foot just walking one day and it’s been two years of PT with practically zero progress. Anytime I take a funny step it resets back to zero.
Plus i basically don’t build muscle anymore no matter how hard i try. I can finally afford a trainer and it’s going to take 3 years to get the amount of progress a 20 year old could get in a single summer. I finally get why juicing and T are so popular among wealthy men in my age group.
If you are still under thirty start taking collagen and moisturizing daily. Do stretches every day even if you do no other fitness. It really really matters and you won’t ever know it’s paying off until all your friends are suddenly like me and you aren’t.
definately physical pain on stuff you used to do on the regular. Had a job were I would get impatient waiting for a delivery and would jump off the dock to go check if I could see the truck. A little after I got into my thirties I jumped off one day and just stopped and stood still in a crouched position for a bit. I never “felt” the landing like I did that day before. It was the sart of what would be a long line of things I would cease to do.
When you fall down nobody laughs. Only concern.
Next up: you don’t fall down, you “have a fall”.
Less birthday parties for you, more for younger folks.
Vision. It gets hard to read in low light, driving at night is tough, you can’t quite figure out how close or far to hold a book or phone.
Alcohol. You just don’t shake it off like you did when you were younger. Now you really think about whether that next drink will be worth the shitty sleep.
Money. You talk about property taxes and 401k contributions more often than you ever thought you would.
Patience. You’re more patient with kids and your parents, and way less patient with everything else.
Memory and visual attention when you get closer to 60. You can’t remember all 10 digits of a new phone number with an unfamiliar area code; often one of the 4 last numbers will end up transposed with a neighbor. Visual attention: looking on your garage shelves or cupboards for an item and not seeing it even though it’s in plain sight.
0118 999 881 999 119 725 3
and my own phone number, nothing else.This is my ringtone.
Balls hang a little lower.
Every damn time I scratch my knee, the nuts get in the way. It’s horrible.
I’m… confused.
Pretty simple. My nuts are giant, hang low, and have their own sentience. They’re also easily entertained by interfering with anything they can.
Right now, they’re the ones typing this, two letters at a time ahahahahahahahahah! Testicle power!
Oh dear…
“Do you nuts hang low, do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?”
Botox helps with the wrinkles
Balltox
Hello caller, you’re on Balltalk!
All pro athletes are younger than me. Except maybe a hockey player or two.
Completely walking away from sports you followed with passion hour whole life because you just aren’t interested in learning the next crop of pros. Also, you know the way money and politics and other things force things in sport and it takes the fun out of it…same can be said for music.
Finding grey hair in your beard. The first time I started to feel older was once I found a couple grey hair in my beard. None in my hair, just beard
Nah you’re not really old until you find grey hair in your pubes
Haha, thanks!
You start correcting people when they say “your” instead of “you’re” :-)
Quite the opposite.
The older you get the less clever it feels to point out the common mistakes of others
It’s replaced with a desire to help people be better.
Yep. Even if you don’t have kids, that parental and grandparental instinct still starts to build and you can’t stop yourself
Agreed. Matter of fact, I usually direct the offending party to one of two, if not both, sites.
https://www.sciencealert.com/people-who-pick-up-grammar-mistakes-jerks-scientists-find
https://blogs.illinois.edu/view/25/76120
Always a good time.
I agree actually, I was only kidding because of the subject of the post.
How little of a fuck you give for modern times and just live in the past.
My 60th birthday.
The year changes
Presbyopia
The amount of candles on you’re birthday cake are so numerous that the fire department comes out.
