Have you ever met a stranger that gave you advice that changed your life?
Have you lost a partner at a young age? Got a rare disease?
Decided to buy bitcoin on a whim in 2009?
Changed careers several times?
I’m trans, estranged from my birth family, and living in a small commune in the French countryside.
I took in my neighbors’ kid in June. His parents physically and emotionally abused him. They told me I can keep him after he ran away to me, they don’t want him, don’t give a fuck about him. Didn’t plan on becoming a dad, but life happens.
Holy shit, that’s awesome man! Many would’ve just given the kid over to “the system” and it would’ve sucked for him. I’ve taken my nephew in, because his home was a mess. He’s back with his mom now, but still comes here one weekend each month. It’s the best thing in the world and I’m thinking about taking in other kids too, when my own kids are a bit older.
Talk to a family law attorney about establishing rights and protecting the kid.
- Born in Poland to polish parents but German grandparents
- at 11 fled to Germany one month before the Berlin wall fell
- at 23 a girl in Sweden on ICQ uses its random function, we marry and I move to Sweden
- we divorce I stay in Sweden go to University at 30, everyone else is 22
- I graduate and work in automobile industry
- during covid I go on a 3 month business trip to korea and install tinder, because why not?
- I meet someone there, she is the CFO of a mid size company so I move to Korea
- at 45 I become a father and we marry
In between there are many more random thing, I play in a ska band and in a metal band, I brew beer, I make sausages, I help creating a free and open source conference, totally drunk I try cocaine which only makes me sober, I program a small game, I go to Hebron in Palestine and record a podcast, etc.
Truly random, do you still work in automobiles in Korea?
Yes I do, but now most of my work is with people in Europe, mostly Germany and Ukraine.
All our lives are absolutely random, even if it doesn’t appear so, you were one of trillions of sperm and are one of billions of humans.
It can be argued that everything in your life is down to pure chance. I know that some people don’t like that idea, especially when they are somewhat successful and want to talk about all the hard work they did to gain their achievements.
I mean, success is not all random. It’s part of that, but it’s not enough for most people.
I disagree.
I do understand where you’re coming from though, you’re opinion is very common. When you’ve worked your whole life to be comfortable and you want to understand why some people are living in comparitive poverty, it’s nice to just think about how lazy and feckless they are and how hard working and diligent you are.
I’m not saying that your opinion is even entirely untrue (although I do think it’s mostly untrue), but I am saying that good chance has an awful lot more to do with it than most people consider.
You could be the most hard working person in history, be born in Africa and die of dysentery at age five. Likewise, I myself am doing OK as an electrician, but the only reason for that is that my dad was an electrician and he helped me get on to a path in to the career via an apprenticeship that I was very lucky to get. I have no idea what I’d be doing today if I hadn’t gone down that career path by pure chance.
It’s not like you don’t need luck and I’m ignorant (arrogant?) enough to think all my life is of my own doing.
To not reveal many personal details, let’s just say I’m from a very different background than you are and not much was handed to me. Not even a career path.
I’ve been extremely lucky a few times and my hard working nature did the rest. Sure, without luck my hard work would be worthless. But without my hard work all the luck would amount to nothing.
It all amounts to opportunities and for many people the opportunities are very few.
If you think back a step, think about why some people are the way they are. Is it because of their genes? Because of a teacher or role model they had growing up? Because of the parenting methods or advice they got from those who raised them?
People are who they’ve because of a number of factors that at their heart are all random.
That would mean there’s no responsibility for anything. You raped someone? That’s just your genes/upbringing and not your fault! Murdered someone? Same!
That’s a very dangerous way of thinking. You are responsible for your actions. Many things shaped you, but you do have a choice.
My younger sister started watching Sailor Moon in '96. I occasionally joined her to mock her for it. Then I noticed it was the absolute shit and I became a bigger fan than she was.
I unironically credit Sailor Moon (and anime) with changing the course of my life because, although it gave my bullies another target on my back, it helped me through school while at least keeping some semblance of sanity. I met my husband in the Sailor Moon online community of the early internet, I majored in Japanese at university, and I learnt to draw because I wanted to recreate what I saw on screen.
If my sister hadn’t watched that dumb kiddie cartoon, I would not be where I am.
I have 4 kids, two cats, and a house with someone I used to think was long gone from my life; We accidentally ran into each other again while I was visiting the old country, and then a volcano caused me to stay for a week extra, and old sparks began to reignite.
Also, my career for the past 15 years has been in am industry I hadn’t heard of before, all because I applied to something “different”, just to see. I didn’t meet any of the educational requirements, I didn’t know what the job was about, the job interview didn’t go particularly well (not poorly either, though), but somehow they hired me out of a stack of 200 interviewees.
The people I disliked the most in my life all got fucked over lol It’s not much but I kinda feel good because of this :)
Randomly asked my boss to relocate me to another country. I’ve been living abroad for 5 years now.
That’s a powerful randomization
A friend asked “What about go to France for a year?” when I was at uni in my birth country Sweden.
Sure! She said lets buy a car and drive there! Ok!
Decided it was fantastic, stayed when the year was over (with a whole bunch of stories I’ll anoy the grandchildren with), and I’m still here :-)
Some years later, my SO in like the y 2000 : Lets go to Paris! Spent 10 years there.
Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives - choice, not chance, determines your destiny.
Not particularly random, but I think my dice are weighted towards 1 and 20
I am from Bosnia. My mother watches TV all day but signal bad. I get work visa, go to America. Declare my love for President. Rise up in ranks of conservative society. Marry tradwife, have kids. High paying job in telecommunications. One day I stay late and pull out central signal cable from entire NY comms hub. NY goes dark. Fly back to Bosnia with cable, plug into mothers TV. She has good signal now.
I know this one!
Over 20 years ago, I met my future wife on a bus. There was a fare dispute and the bus got pulled over by the police for like an hour, giving us time to talk.
When I graduated college my mom apparently passed my resume around to everyone, and her diving instructor gave it to a friend who gave it to a coworker who decided to give me an interview. I’m still in a career that started with the most random of connections.
A couple years ago, my mom discovered from my DNA test that she had assumed my father incorrectly based on the gestation timeline estimated by the doctor. She told me my real dad’s name, and I have met him and learned of new siblings, cousins, uncles, and grandmother. Whoops.
Sometimes the most random of events has lifelong consequences.
I met my boss (for going on 19 years now) when he came in as a substitute teacher at college.
He likes to say “MightyLordJason got an A on my midterm so I offered him a job”
I always say yes, so most of the things I have and am are mostly coincidental. Like, I’ve never gotten a job through a formal application procedure. They’ve all been through “networking”, but without any actual effort.
I’m not complaining, my life is great, but I sometimes feel like I’m being lived, instead of living my own life. I’m sure that’s gonna come back at me during my midlife crisis, but I’m not there yet.
Right now I am thinking about my career and laying out an actual plan for once and it feels dirty, but also it feels like the right thing to do.
