Since you’re married, I consider the bar for ‘red flag’ to be quite a bit higher, but the answer to this depends on some missing context.

It’s only a red flag if they have unreasonable expectations to the point that it’s harmful to either of you, and they aren’t willing to entertain the notion that the problem might not actually be the perceived lack of attention/companionship but rather the unreasonable amount they’re expecting.

Healthy relationships are founded on vulnerability, emotional intimacy, selflessness, being able to have real candid discussions on problems and come together to work towards a solution. It’s not that healthy relationships are always devoid of unhealthy things, it’s that the parties are willing to come together and fix the bad stuff.

That said, it’s not a red flag if they’re feeling this way due to totally unreasonable expectations, even if they’re convinced that the expectations are very reasonable, just so long as they’re able to acknowledge that your feelings matter too and that this is causing strife and it’s something they’re willing to at least try to find some sort of compromise or middle ground.

And it’s definitely not a red flag if they have very reasonable expectations by anyone’s standards and they simply aren’t being met.

But boil it down and the only red flag is if they or you would rather build a trench between you two rather than coming to the table willing to discuss how to navigate through it