• beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 days ago

    Most of all, lonely. My situation is rough. I’m a trans woman (some passing privilege), almost 40, and staying with center-right family in East Texas because I haven’t been able to work in two years due to mental illness. I have a very difficult time making and keep friends and the family I’m staying with doesn’t understand why I’m upset, doesn’t care, and think I’m overreacting (They are superficially supportive about me being trans, but also voted for this). I was going to therapy for a while, but I had to discontinue it because I couldn’t afford it any more. The only thing keeping me going is that for the last few years I’ve been able to feel more comfortable in my own skin, thanks to HRT.

    I really don’t want to go through whatever the Republicans have in store for trans people in red states alone. The thing I am most afraid of is them banning HRT for adults (it’s already banned for kids). I’ve been on e since 2018. If everything were going great for me losing access to my medication would be a horrifying and soul crushing ordeal, I doubt I’ll survive it with how my life is now.

    This last week I’ve been almost completely non-functional. I’ve been alternating between uncontrollable sobbing, hours long panic attacks, furious rage, and making half-crazed, poorly thought out Lemmy and Reddit comments.

    tl;dr: not great.