My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
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Why’d the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy!
What’d the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, kid, we’ll go places.
Q: What’s brown and sticky?
A: A stickWhy shouldn’t you go the forest at noon?
That’s when the ripe elephants fall from the trees.Why does the alligator have such a flat nose?
Because he went to the forest at noon.Bonus points if you space them out a bit with unrelated jokes.
My favorite clean joke, what do call a ship on the ocean floor that twitches? A nervous wreck.
Q: What do you call a large amphibious mammal with a huge mouth, large teeth, fat body and goes around swearing at passers-by?
A: Hippopottymouth
Has she discovered the use of puns yet? I would recommend those cheesy dad-joke books and the joke pages from copies of Reader’s Digest.
She’s discovered the concept, along with jokes, she doesn’t quite “get” them yet. She gets the basic idea, but not the subtleties that make them work. The results are cute, but horrifically bad.
How about elephant jokes? There are so many of those.
Have you done banana banana banana orange yet? Can be retold many ways by kids who didn’t quite get the pun, like “grape you glad I’m not a banana.” Hilarious every time, when you’re the 5 year old.
Where does the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
What do you call a fly with no legs? A walk
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea
shouldn’t that be a fly with no wings ?
Love the deer ones lol
Yes!! I said it wrong _’
Do they not sell kids joke books in the check out line at the grocery store anymore? Used to be tons of those.
There’s no room at the ubiquitous self checkouts, and smartphones have made printed media more novelty than EDC.
There’s a dad jokes lemmy!
dadjokes@lemmy.world
I would suggest a book of jokes specifically for kids. Like this one.
It’s free on Kindle Unlimited. You don’t even have to let your daughter know that you’re getting them from a book.
Assuming Kindle Unlimited is a paid service, the book isn’t free.
OMG! You’re technically correct but added nothing to the conversation! Congratulations!
It helped me out
everything is free if you know where to look for it 🏴☠️
Be careful you’re not getting something written by AI that is not just terrible, but completely inappropriate. A human author could also do that, but…
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Cause his mommy got stuck in a jam.
Yes, let’s get the kid started with dark humor.
It was either that or a washing machine.
A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5yo love gross humor
They definitely do!
Guess what? Chicken butt.
I have some sense of self preservation. She’s bad enough right now calling everyone a banana!
