Fu̇nilı inu̇f, ð Moṙmėnz ƿᵫd hæv ð lıſt tceu̇bėl ƿið ðiſ ƿėn. Ðıṙ vṙjėn v ð greıtṙ ſpıritcuėl wṙld hæz ė hevenlı mėðṙ tu. Ėkoṙdıŋ t Knowing Better, C’z n ſupṙ impoṙtent, b ð Moṙmėnz þıŋk it’ſ nuıſ t no C’z aut ðeıṙ.
spoiler
Funnily enough, the Mormons would have the least trouble with this one. Their version of the greater sporitual world has a heavenly mother too. According to Knowing Better, she’s not super important, but the Mormons think it’s nice to know she’s out there.
This is why it makes more sense to believe in more gods.
More gods == more rational
You should know how much time Christian monks spent reasoning about the foreskin of Christ.
It’s a lot.
Long enough to postulate that once the Jesus ascended, his foreskin ascended as well and become. The. Rings. Of. Saturn.
Sky will never be the same, won’t it?
At that point it’s just Greek mythology all over again.
Capitalised pronouns ARE neopronouns. I use them, and I wrote an article on My blog about it: https://medium.com/@viridiangrail/introduction-to-capitalised-pronouns-f5140e722b48
God never addressed themselves as him/her. They referred to themselves as I am.
And the equivalent of we/us, as I think you’re alluding to.
There are definitely He pronouns in the bible
I think this is very relevant to this discussion https://youtu.be/qUb0JnEsOHQ
You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.
I can follow this, up to
they are neopronouns
I believe that that’s a decision made by translators of the bible. Hebrew doesn’t have lowercase letters, and the Greek versions of the New Testament that I found don’t capitalize as much. And are they distinct?
Yeah, it’s more of an act of reverence or deference. However, it is a pronoun (cis-gendered, and preferred) which some people believe never occurs in the Bible.
*Hits the Blessed Waterpipe of Panaji*
Under Trinitarianism, God would be a they/them, because they’re literally several people.
According to the common understanding of the doctrine of virgin birth, Mary got impregnated through the Holy Spirit rather than The Father rawdogging her. This suggests that the Holy Spirit is a dick and thus probably male.
The Father is, according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, not a man or a woman. That being said, neither Hebrew nor Aramaic nor Koine Greek have gender-neutral pronouns (except perhaps calling The Father “it” in Koine Greek, which would be hilarious but sadly would not be approved of by a killjoy like Paul).
It’s not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn’t entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It’s a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected
Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that Christ is purely divine and not human
Want to know why life is always fucking you? If God has a dick, his dick would be omnipresent therefore you’re constantly being dicked by God.
There are several other gods and goddesses named in the old testament, so I’m willing to buy that the Christian god has a dick, and it’s for inserting into goddesses. And given the personality on display by said diety, I’d wager said dick could pass through the eye of a needle and still have room for the camel.
This is excellent:
If God has no cock, then being male doesn’t need a cock to be real.
If he has a cock, then does he only use it to pee? Or does he use it to both pee and fuck? Does that mean he had sexual relations with a minor who was also married already?
Does the Trinity have a cock? Or is it only the father or is it only the son? You can clearly see that the son had a cock. But did he keep it as a ghost cock? Do they have 3 different cocks? Or do they share a cock?
Since they supposedly are virgin, do they have to jack off? Do they jack off at the same time? Or does one have to hide somewhere to jack off? Or are they okay just jacking off in front of the others?
What do they pee? If you take a shower in god pee, do you smell good? Or bad?
And why all these questions about pee anyway…how about poo? Is God poo good or bad? If it’s bad, doesn’t that mean that God has bad things inside of him? Does that mean they gotta eat something? What do they eat? Can we eat it too? How come God let’s people die of hunger if he has a source of God food?
Pretty sure the official position in most sects, including Catholicism, is that God is not “male”, but singular male pronouns are nevertheless the only “correct” pronouns for “Him”.
Why should every part of God need a purpose? What does efficiency mean in the face of unlimited power (palpatine.jpeg), or simplicity in the face of omniscience? Why does God have a penis? Cause he wanted one I guess. They are nice for peeing too.
Peeing implies waste, which implies imperfection. If god were really God, his body would be 100% efficient and he wouldn’t consume anything he didn’t need.
Nah, in its internal logic, Chalcedonean Christianity doesn’t have this problem. Jesus is defined as fully human and fully divine, and peeing is just part of being human.
Jesus and God are two different entities, we were discussing “The Father”.
Chalcedonian Christianity is also Nicene, i.e., Trinitarian: one being in three cosubstantial persons. They share the divine cock and balls, one would say.
Oh, so Jesus just had one nut, the Holy Ghost had the other one, and God obviously had the Heavenly Shaft. Got it.
Maybe the pee is not waste, but spontaneously created to God’s will. " I want to pee, sure would be nice if I had a penis right now" - a diety that does not plan ahead, probably.
Well God, that’s pretty sexist. You don’t need a penis to pee.
I would assume since gods are omnipotent, their dicks are always the perfect size for the situation. Or perhaps they are inconceivably huge. Since they seem to like swinging them around so much.
Pronouns? God don’t need no stinking pronouns. God got dick.
We assume omnipotence from Gods but it’s not wholly true. Most gods out in the world of myth are limited in their reach and ability. If they are in a pantheon then often that implies that they have no direct power over each other and thus they are not all powerful.
Interestingly omnicence or omnipresence is not something claimed even by the monotheistic religions. No God is actually all seeing. Plenty of times in script things have been hidden from God or something has to be told to God to bring it to his attention.
This has nothing to do with his dick persay… Just the assumption of omnipotence. If the Christian God exists he coulda just be lying about what he’s capable of and what human is gunna be able to check the math? Guy seems like the kind of dick who would pull that shit.
The gods were omnipotent to humans, not always so much to other gods perhaps. In polytheistic religions the pantheon was often comprised of siblings of some sort. But the top god, like Zeus or Odin, where all seeing and all knowing if they wanted to be. But they often did didn’t really care that much as long as they were fat and happy.
