My partner does this already. The number of times I’ve found “tush squish” is… I’ve lost track.
I got him back by adding chicken hats to his online cart.
1000 bottles of baby oil
Sean?
live bees
Po-
Tay-
Toes
Happy Cakeday! 🍰🎂
Thank you. It’s my first. 😊
Fancy Napkins!
- Not Wet!
300kg of Plutonium
porno magazines
large box of condoms
a bottle of Old Harper
panty shields
illegal fireworks
disposable enemaMale: condoms, canteloupe, watermelon, Vaseline Female:condoms, squash, cucumber, carrots,
I feel like this only works if those are the only items on the list. If you also have apples, berries, potatoes, onions, shampoo and toothpaste, it’s just a normal shopping list.
As an aside, do not use Vaseline with condoms. In addition to it not being body safe for internal use, some condoms are still latex and vaseline will dissolve them. Most condoms these days are nitrile, but again see above re: internal insertion safety.
Only men are stretchy enough to fit melons up their ass, and women have to stick with more mundane phallic vegetables?
Hope this is sarcastic, if not you make a hole in the melon.
I honestly pop in ‘yo butt’ into our shared shopping list and it usually gets an eye roll.
Duck tape, shovel, condom
I’d add a couple of things to that list:
- Duct tape
- Rope
- Burlap bag
- Shovel
- Condom
What about dog biscuits as well?
Oh yes, but that needs to be first on the list for sure.
Edit: on second thought, make it last on the list. It tells more of a story.
Peanut butter, duct tape, skateboard, kitestring…
Amazing present for insert your own name here
While not very humorous, some of the most useful permanent items on our shared shopping list include “That spice that ran out” and “That thing I was looking for the other day”. They’ve saved the day a few times over ten or so years.
This is so stupid and completely genius at the same time. It would absolutely work for me.
1 flux capacitor
2 positrons
1 hug
1 thingamajig
3 liters of blinker fluid
one simple manual excavator
1 mole of oxygen
1 µg of unobtanium
1 grimoir for casting spells
1 ring to rule them all
50 melons for grade school math problem*mol
“1 hug” is a regular addition to my fiancé’s list when she asks me if there’s anything I need. It’s a great addition because then I get my hug!
1 quark (no pairs please)
Here you go
top or bottom? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
🥺
👉👈
Just really want some symmetry violation and new physics. It’s getting stale in here.
Yummy! 😋
50 melons for grade school math problem
Actually I think I’m gonna start with:
“(10x-0.5)/2 snickers bars, where x is how much of my snickers you ate, you asshole.”
I charge a husband tax too. 10% of her snacks are mine.
Pet supplies for animals you don’t have. Things that don’t exist but sound like things you might find at a grocery store, like pot slippers from the kitchen utensils, vegan mangos, aged vermhölsterdoif cheese, or barkley salt. Rare spices the stores your partner shops at do not sell. I get a kick out of being macabre so long pork, stray child. Ingredients your partner hates. Confusing typos.
Vanilla flavoured bananas.
Peppered mandarins.
Pickled macaroni.
you’re giving them ideas! it’s going to fruity pebbles Mac and cheese
