Ask for help. I have a sketchy knee that gives out sometimes and i need to have one hand on the stair rail just in case. If I’m carrying something that requires two hands at work, I have no problem asking someone to grab the other side of it on the stairs. My husband would not ask for help unless it was something really heavy. He would put himself at risk to avoid admitting he needed help - it’ll be fine. Well sure, it’s always fine, until it’s not.
And somehow when my ex asked for help, I’ve spent weekends at her house carrying heavy stuff, assembling furniture and fixing stuff. Crap, I need to set boundaries, don’t I?
Sometimes we men don’t ask for help simply because we want to see if we can do it ourselves. It’s a test.
I often have work at my camp that makes me think it would be smarter or safer to wait until I can get help. Then I think, nah, you can figure this out. That often leads to novel solutions.
Ask for help. I have a sketchy knee that gives out sometimes and i need to have one hand on the stair rail just in case. If I’m carrying something that requires two hands at work, I have no problem asking someone to grab the other side of it on the stairs. My husband would not ask for help unless it was something really heavy. He would put himself at risk to avoid admitting he needed help - it’ll be fine. Well sure, it’s always fine, until it’s not.
Probably because when he was a child and asked for help, he was told to “man up”. So now that he’s a man, asking for help would mean he’s not a man.
He grew up in a military family. You did what you were told and didn’t question.
And somehow when my ex asked for help, I’ve spent weekends at her house carrying heavy stuff, assembling furniture and fixing stuff. Crap, I need to set boundaries, don’t I?
Sometimes we men don’t ask for help simply because we want to see if we can do it ourselves. It’s a test.
I often have work at my camp that makes me think it would be smarter or safer to wait until I can get help. Then I think, nah, you can figure this out. That often leads to novel solutions.
Are you sure he just doesn’t feel bad about potentially bothering someone (as I do)?
Or maybe he has some antiquated masculinity ideas in his head that are just plain silly and corrosive.
Oh yeah, he’s a door holder, grocery carrier.
Hey I’m just guessing.
Bit of both I’m sure.
Little column A, little column B for me.