So much money spent on these machines when they could just hire an on-site hooker
Oh man, I have this problem to a high degree. Almost anywhere outside the home I’m embarrassed to masturbate. I feel this way at the grocery, the laundromat, even dentists office. Hospitals are intimidating, so it’s a great place to start, but there are lots of places we should be putting these. Hopefully they come out with a portable version to make this something that we don’t need to be embarrassed about anywhere really.
im sorry to say but its just a cope. these machines will never replace the experience of cranking one out in a public restroom
Would be nice to see these in supermarkets and malls, maybe in restaurants so you could pay part of the bill in cum
Well, it’s more likely to catch on than real world applications of crypto at least.
Tbf crypto currencies were a good idea that got fucked up, this is fucked already
What if I need prostate stimulation?
HAL 9000: “Best I can do is slap your testicles, Dave.”
Ask buddy to help
A team of people had to design this
Once installed, a new team of people would have to maintain it. Mechanics with biotech engineering degrees. Cleaning technicians with advanced degrees in medicine, robotics, and hygiene. Eventually an aftermarket for used jizzbots would form, resulting in cum-puter resellers and replacement part manufacturers. Unlicensed spunkdroid hotrodders overclocking their barely legal Frankenstein fuck factories for orgasms previously inconceivable to the human mind. Soon we’ll all be slaves to the perpetual pussy motion machine, our minds melting into one… unnnnnngggggg… wow, that was a lot to type one-handed, where am I, what’s happening? (jk but this stupid gag really got away from me!)
New Lemmypasta?
Round after round of tests and revisions, too. Who tested the alpha version? What were the issues? I’d love to see those notes.
Ransomware: pay 5BTC or I’ll bite your dick off
Keeping these things sanitary must be a nightmare
if we had these i would donate twice a day.
We need someone to replace their door handle with this
Too embarrassed to crank one at the hospital, but not too embarrassed to have a machine suck you off while you stand at the row of machines with all the other donors. Urinal etiquette does apply, btw! Don’t be That Guy who goes straight for the middle BJ Bot!
If they configure them face to face, they could probably build one machine that jerks off two donors at the same time, on the upstroke and downstroke.
We’ll you can hold hands with buddy on next machine. Helps to make itess stressful
I’d hope they’d at least be in stalls so that I can only see the feet of the dudes getting sucked off on either side of me.
I’m sorry Dave, I can’t let you not cum
My ex used to help everyone out like this too.
That’s disgusting. Where would you even buy a horrible machine like that, and how much would that terrible thing cost with shipping?
Search “banana cleaner” on Amazon
When you nut but the milking machine keeps milking
Is there a version that talks back to you? “Give me your sperm baby”.
Hopefully it has customisable options - different voices, a setting to throw insults at you while it extracts the baby batter, and a FF victory jingle once you’ve nutted.
