Honestly convincing my dad is the hard part, he’s still pulling for me to be a tech wiz set for life with a developer job, but I haven’t written an original project since before the plague hit, and I haven’t had much real hope of beating the HR bot resume roulette wheel since before even that.
Now I’m wondering if I should try back for an IT cert in my management training or just lean into having been good enough at arithmetic and go for a cert in accounting to focus less on career ambitions and more on just having food on the table and putting my dream energy into something else outside of work hours.
I’m still in the process of letting mine die (hope is a stubborn thing), but sometimes you need to accept your lot in life. Not everyone gets to do everything they want to.
now, I just don’t know what else to dream for instead. As it is, I’m just existing and waiting to die.
I wanted to be a story board artist. I wanted to work in Animation. I just never could get work (and to be fair, I’m not the best artist). It broke my heart. I regret choosing a creative field for school. My lack of talent and forethought is something I regret. I live with the reprocussions of that choice every day. I cried when I watch Arcane. Not because of the story, but I so wished I could have been apart of that quality of artistry. Now I’m doomed to the same job I wanted to avoid because that’s a I can do (customer service based). I’ve had multiple breakdowns since college and probably will until I die 😂
I didn’t think animation would be easy, or even fun, all the time. But I wonder nearly every day how it would of panned out if I made different choices, if I was smarter, more talented, more motivated, just a better human being. Since I’llikely be working until I die, I often think do “skipping” to the end.
As a random internet stranger I just wanted to say to keep hope and that I sincerely hope you’ll find your way. The past is the past, fortunately, and all you have is the now. I always found peace in the saying that we make choices with the information we have at the time and we are always doing our best. You can’t be angry at a past self that didn’t know. Also! Life doesn’t have to be grand to be worth living and your life is very worth living. Hope this doesn’t come off as patronizing because it’s not meant to be, the feelings you are talking about are familiar to me too.
But they are just feelings, and we can nurture them, be kind to ourselves, and, if we want to, slowly let them go.
I remember my mother asking me what I wanted to be when I grow up and I answered I wanted to be a doctor because I liked learning the human body in school. Never really done anything towards that path though. Didn’t have great grades for it too.
I’m not getting a Nobel. It’s mostly a political prize.
I’m not getting a second house in the Northern Hemisphere, somewhere around the Alps, so I’d get two autumns + winters per year. It sounds fancy but eventually it would become a chore.
I’m not marrying and having children. I simply don’t see the point any more; I don’t even care about romantic relationships any more.
I’m not going to make “the final” reconstruction of Proto-Indo-European, the one that will solve all issues with the current ones. It’s fun to do some “backyard science” here and there, but other people are better skilled at this than I am.
I wanted to be a rock musician. Then I wanted to be an EDM artist. I still occasionally make music on my computer and even occasionally collaborate with friends who make music. I don’t have the same drive and energy that I did in my 20s to work on tracks late into the night, so it’s become pretty rare. I’m extremely proud of some of the tracks that I did over the years, so that’s enough for me. I’d like to keep pumping out music, but I just don’t have a ton of energy for it anymore.
TLDR: I got old and I’m ok with it.
Similar “dream” although, for me it was more just something I fell into for half a decade after highschool. I can’t imagine trying to keep up these days. I still know old producers and DJs. It’s not a stable way to age.
I had a similar dream too, but solved the aging problem by not expecting to live past 30. Here I am now pushing 60 and wondering wtf.
I came very close to solving the aging problem as you described. Ended up having to make huge changes in my thirties to avoid late admission to the 27 Club. Very happy I burned out of the scenes when I did.
I won’t let 4chan take my dreams away from me.
But I’m thinking I may settle for this.
I have a few times in life, but I’ve always found a new one.
Each time I’d get deep enough into something, tech advancements always made that thing functionally obsolete.
Once again I’m watching my skill set being phased out, but am working on my big last hurrah project right now that I’ve dreamed of for years. Having a great time doing it, but have already started the process of replacing it over the next 18 months.
The one plus side now is that the company I’m with has already invested in my training for the next big thing. I’ve been through it enough times that I don’t feel like I’m losing something or wasted my time.
I’m not really sure. I wanted to develop games, I left the idea behind because I needed income and at the time it wasn’t really an industry worth pursuing. Now it’s easier than ever to make games, but the market is oversaturated. Also my current industry is dying and I’m just kind of bored? So it’s going alright. Can’t say I regret it, can’t stay I’m happy either.
A dream is something you need to asume that you may never reach it. Or Maybe not in the form of you imagined. With the time I have been around, there were some things that after I had accomplished I realized they were actually dreams I wanted and I never knew. Some others became real dreams by valorating what happened.
Two chicks at the sane time, man…
Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays
You answered the first part of the question.
Do you regret giving up on it or are you still hunting? We need answers, tell us, smotherpucker.
When i was 6 I wanted ti be an astronaut, when I was 7 I wanted to be a.firemen,nwhen I was 8 I wanted to be in the Army, when i was 9 I wanted to fly fighter jets…
Do I regret giving up on my dreams ? No, I grew up.
I wish I had a dream
I really wanted a wife and kids. Once puberty hit, I had one goal, be the best father\husband I could be.
Put myself through college, got a good job, bought a house (specifically close to schools so they could just walk to school)… One problem… I’m clearly not attractive because everyone I dated in my 20s cheated on me. So I gave up. I’ve spent the last 10+ years having to constantly remind myself this. I hate it every day.
At least you dated and had something. I’m doing way worse and I bet I’m older than you. And I never went to college either.
I’m not sure you’re thinking of this in the most helpful way. A lot of times we are attracted to the kind of people that make us feel comfortable, and what makes us feel comfortable is what we have experience with. So for example if we have a toxic relationship with our parents, or with a first relationship, often we become attracted to people who embody similar toxicity. So its likely not that you are unattractive, but instead need to rethink why you have been attracted to the people who cheated on you. Maybe they all have attributes in common? Anyway, being cheated on sucks, and I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
Look man, that’s a damn rough shake, but one thing worth considering is that people aren’t really done “growing up” until their mid 20s at best. It was probably a lot less that you weren’t the catch you thought you were and probably a lot more that you just got unlucky drew a lot of people who weren’t as ready for a relationship as you were.
Take it from me, job hunting was miserable for me, but it taught me an incredibly valuable lesson for myself. My worthiness has nothing to do with if people are rewarding me for the effort to be a worthy person. I had a perfect résumé, and gave a perfect interview, but I never got hired until I stopped barking up the tree I thought I was gonna spend my life climbing, because all the qualification in the world just isn’t gonna mean shit against pure bad luck, and it sounds like you sir had a whale’s load of bad luck.
If it’s been 10+ years since giving up, it might be time to start looking again. Stay the ever loving fuck away from online dating though, shit will retraumatize you in minutes, look for social events in your area that suit your personal hobbies and interests, but also, go looking for friends and not necessarily lovers, depending on your interests folks you find attractive might feel put upon if someone’s getting the moves on immediately after meeting them at a fun hobby thing.
Fun thing about friends to lovers is that if you realize it wouldn’t work romantically, you still got this cool friend person to do fun shit with!
Aww dude.
Hugh Grant was married to supermodel goddess Elizabeth Hurley and cheated with Divine Brown.
Nobody thinks of Elizabeth Taylor and says, “Man, her husbands must have been so ugly! She divorced them all!”
Cheating has nothing to do with how you look. There are countless examples of people cheating with less-attractive options. As the poster above says, it’s about the type of person you’re currently drawn to/currently drawn to you (speaking from the same experience). If you’re up for a book and can overlook the cheesy-sounding title, check out Attached: The New Science of Adult Dating/Attachment by Amir Levine for some really helpful insights into that stuff. It was so spot-on for me years ago that I read it in a single night, just stayed up and finished it, because it hit so close to home.
I’ve had multiple "the dream"s. First I wanted to go to college for robotics and make sick frickin robots. I ended up not going through with it because lol college is expensive. Then I wanted to become a priest, but concluded that my schizophrenia would probably stop that from happening. Most recently I was interested in becoming a monk, but a quick chat with the abbot shot that down, again thanks to my schizophrenia.
I could live with not going to college again no problem, I have a nice engineering job as it is. What’s really frustrating is when my mental illness keeps closing doors in my face the minute I find them. It’s hard to think, at times, that my life really has value. But I persist.
