I might say something like “Oof, gravity is kicking in, I gotta go have a seat…”
I’m going to free space for dinner
Touching cotton, gotta go.
Turtle’s poking its head out.
Farting freckles.
Making fuzzy rope
“All hands rig for dive. DIVE DIVE DIVE”
And my absolute favorite to use in the office or around older family / the youngins, “I gotta go make”
If your poop is fuzzy, you should see a doctor…or an exorcist.
Pinching a loaf.
“Gotta see a man about a dog.”
Had a coworker that would go the the bathroom and sit in there for 10 to 15 so I started calling it a “Tony ten-er.”
My ex boss used to say he was going to use the library whenever he had to shit. Don’t know why.
I take it your boss was Gen X or older?
In the pre cell phone era, it was common for bathrooms to contain various magazines or books.
Uhhhhhh…was that a regional thing? Because I’m old enough to remember bathrooms before cell phones.
I don’t remember magazines/books being left in the bathroom. I only remember bringing them in.
Seinfeld did a whole episode on how gross it was to brings books into the bathroom.
LDR Industries Free Standing Toilet Paper Holder and Magazine Rack, Bathroom Storage Organizer, Rectangular Pedestal Design, Bathroom Tissue Holder, Chrome
Looks like it’s still a thing…
You know that nobody under the age of 40 has ever ordered that.
Oh, definitely not. I’d say no one under 50 would even be a good bet, but I had to look and make sure this wasn’t a Fruit of the Loom Cornucopia/Berenstein Bears type thing.
Wait why the fuck are they gaslighting us about that cornucopia
I didn’t think I was old. Now I do.
The turtle is peaking out it’s head from the shell.
I thought that was a limp penis slowly becoming erect?
Evicting a slug
Hard insider, “Doing an Olli”. We had a coworker named Oliver and when ever we were at a customer on site he not only showed up late but always went straight for the toilets making us wait even longer.
In Dutch or Flemish at least we say: Ik moet een grote boodschap doen.
Which is a literal translation for: I have to make a big message.
Two of my favourites are:
- I’m touching cloth.
- Dropping the kids off at the pool.
Say it in snowboard.
A silly Dutch one is saying you got a fax from Darmstad, which is a city in Germany but also Darm=intestines and Stad=city.
The chocolate bus honks.
“I gotta go do some paper work” or “I need to get something down on paper” are my two go-tos
Hope everything comes out alright!
Dad?
I gotta drop the Browns off at the Superbowl.
I’m gonna try and lose some weight
It’s been 5 hours, were you successful?
