People older than 45, what advice would you give to people younger than 30?
Just because you don’t understand something within the first 5 seconds doesn’t mean it’s stupid.
Also information changes on a daily basis. Just because someone gave you different information than what you were taught doesn’t mean they were taught wrong. Look it up.
As a 30+ person, this hits true. I heard my first friend say “the crap music these kids are listening to”. Like dude, have just some self awareness, remember our parents saying green day and blink -182 were crap.
I would add to this that we don’t need to understand something for there to be value to others. There are trends I don’t understand, like dancing on tiktok, but it apparently brings the youths joy so have at it.
Tbf some of the popular music has been shit since music began I’m sure, but there’s also always good stuff. For instance rap music, most of it these days is garbage like lil uzi and lil peep, but there’s still dudes like Aesop Rock (not ASAP Rocky, Aesop Rock), Run The Jewels, Meyhem Lauren, Lil Nas X, making good shit out there. Pop hasn’t been good since the 80s though. Oddly enough I think my favorite stuff from “now” is actually the fact that shoegaze is coming back but called zoomergaze and it’s fantastic! The band Julie is a good example, check out their EP Pushing Daisies. Also there’s been some really good recent country, namely Charley Crockett and Sturgil Simpson, and (ok it’s psychedelic bluegrass but) Billy Strings.
There is good stuff, we just have to dig through piles of shit for it.
Talking to the admin of a pop music instance there bud.
As a 40+ person, I strongly agree with my young colleague here.
Listen to what you want, kids. Enjoy it. And don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong about it.
The advice-for-kids thread is elsewhere. This is an advice for old people thread.
Indeed, but this particular sub-thread started with an OP giving advice to older people, and is now older people responding to that comment. These aren’t top level comments, so let the conversation go where it may.
Loving this chain. Also over 30. I get frustrated that what older generations used to spout about Millenials like me (lazy, don’t want to work, etc) gets spouted by my generation to gen z.
I’ve seen some Gen Z kids do some bad things, but I’ve also seen them do amazing things my generation would not have done.
As far as music, I love all the variety there is and all the mediums to listen to it now.
I am actively working on trying to be better than the older generation. I love how unique gen z is, how they truly believe everyone have value, their beliefs, their morals. I have hope they will be better than us
There are trends I don’t understand, like dancing on tiktok, but it apparently brings the youths joy so have at it.
It’s actually called tap dancing, and if you think of that as a youths thing you’re older than dirt.
I just turned 30 and I am pretty sure a woman is not worth it if she does not provide you peace at home and is constantly looking for drama and conflict. Spent my youth chasing lost causes
As a stone-age person on Lemmy (47) allow me a response please.
First of all, I agree with you. Spent my 20s going through the motions thinking “maybe I just won’t meet someone I can bear to be with in the long term”.
And then I met her.
But in some respects she also met me at the right time. My assumptions about what I needed to help fix changed. My way of talking to women about their day, their challenges, their ambitions slowly morphed. So I don’t know if “she was perfect for me” or I had finally learnt how the differences between biological males and biological females drove how we communicated, what we needed and expected from each other, allowed me to finally commit to a long term relationship. We’ve been together for 17 years, married for 15. She drives me mad at times, and most days she wants to strangle me slowly, but despite all those small details, we also make each other laugh till we can’t breathe, we agree on almost everything (probably why the small disagreements become so “important”), we manage to parent four kids relatively well and when we finally find the time to have a day by ourselves, I am reminded why I fell in love with her.
I guess I’m trying to tell you that it might still happen to you too.
I’m only a few years older than you, but I agree. And I’ll also say that some (respectful) criticism at home is ok, and if I’m honest, should be expected.
We’re all not perfect and can’t expect to get nothing but praise or adoration from our partners, nor should it be expected of us. But all criticism should come from a place of love and respect; it’s not your partner against you about a problem, it’s you and your partner against a problem.
Healthy relationships require hard conversations like that, but no one deserves to be in a relationship where they can’t feel comfortable to be themselves without being attacked for it (with some obvious exceptions).
30 is hurtling at me like a train, so may as well say my bit while I still qualify.
Learn to swallow your ego, and pride, and “seniority”. There’s plenty of people younger than you that a wildly intelligent and truly want to make the world a better place. Let those people take up space. Let young organizers spread their wings. Put your desires to be important aside and help empower the next generation. Feeling valued by the broader society and being allowed to be important can help young people participate and learn to socialize, especially with some of their formative years being ravaged by social media and Covid.
What about those of us who are older who were never given that chance when we were young?
We finally have a real opportunity and its our time to step aside?
Cool, cool, so the Boomers never let us have a chance at anything and now that they are all finally fucking dying, the next generation is like “we know you never actually got a chance but get the fuck out our way.”
That being said, there’s plenty of smart and capable youth out there who deserve a chance, it just stinks to be part of a lost generation that never got one.
I think the point of the comment you replied to was to share space and allow the younger generation to flourish in ways that our generation never did. Break the cycle. This doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself for younger people, the world is big enough for all of us.
Cheers, that’s hopefully the way we can make it work.
If there’s one thing that often bugs me about my peers, it’s the unwillingness to learn from someone younger than you. Plenty of young people know all kinds of shit I’ve never known and they grew up in a world with access to more accurate information and education, so things I was taught in my childhood may be wrong.
For example, since I don’t have kids of my own, until recently I was totally unaware that there was a chickenpox vaccine. I was one of the last generations of ‘chicken pox parties’ where they just tried to get entire classes of kids to get it all at once so they wouldn’t get it at a more dangerous age.
Young people will almost always have access to new and useful information we may not.
Absolutely. I’ve got a younger dude that works for me and he teaches me so much on the daily, it’s pretty rad.
There’s a chickenpox vaccine? Huh, TIL. I remember my chickenpox party lol, it seemed so weird at the time to be made to hang out with other kids that were sick with the intent of getting sick.
If I see they’ve accomplished something I haven’t, I listen. So long as they’re not shitty about it.
It’s not hard to find young people who have accomplished what I haven’t.
Yes, exactly! Thanks for clarifying that for me!
I’ve never been valuable to the world. But now I’ve gone through a bunch of shit and know things people who haven’t been through that shit don’t know.
Should I try to share that? I’m not really done trying to be helpful, you know? I haven’t spread my own wings yet, despite being old.
So should I just give up to make space for young people who want to feel that, or should I chime in with what I’ve learned.
I am 30 years old. Ask me anything.
What new body pains have you found?
I swear it was like a switch for me
Previous injuries I had when I was young. Like my knee from a baseball injury a long time ago. They just randomly flare up now. But brand new? Lower back. I swear some days it’s like a flip of a coin.
I’m in my late 20s and scared, now.
If it makes you feel any better, everyone goes through it. haha
I may be 32, but I can throw in my own thoughts here. Stop paying attention to “societal norms”. Societal norms are just there to control people. Do what you love. Watch cartoons and listen to whatever music you want to. You don’t have to be an adult at all times. Take a break once in a while.
Why would we know this less than you?
Definitely a broad average but I don’t feel like its unfair to say each generation up is a bit more reserved that the younger
Hmm. So it’s cool to buy the $900 Lego kits?
If you can afford it, sure. If it’s money that should be spent elsewhere, you might want to rethink it.
I’ve never seen someone come out of the closet at 50 and remark that they’re glad they took their time
Considering the vast majority of people that walk around naked in the public locker room without an ounce of shame are people over 50 or over 60, I find this comment has got it backwards. There seems to be a universal constant that the older you get, the less you care about what other people think. I know I have experienced this myself, and most older people I ask tend to agree vehemently. It also explains why so many young people are embarrassed by their parents.
My advice to teens and people in their early twenties: don’t worry what other people think of you. No one else is thinking about you much at all.
There’s no shame in changing your mind, there is no shame in needing help, there is no shame in self improvement, try to love yourself as a whole and work towards changing the things you don’t love.
You can also love the parts you’re going to change, as you change them. You don’t have to turn off the love to do surgery.
That’s very true. I routinely change the parts of me I love. I try to make them better. I’m a kind and loving person, but I’m trying to change that from a selfless form to a self preserving form. To know my limits and stop pouring from an empty cup.
That changing your mind is so key. Often times people attach personal value to opinions as though they’re related.
The ego gets involved when it should fuck right off.
Sometimes people around them don’t make it any easier. If people around a person immediately show contempt to a person who admits they were wrong, it enforces a microculture where change is going to be harder and more painful than necessary.
This is a real problem with changing your mind.
I can’t believe how many times I’ve been told I’ve changed when I no longer found something funny or said something that I wouldn’t have in my teen years.
One of the longest-running opinions of mine that hasn’t been disproved yet is that many people just don’t really mature or age mentally, it seems; they just grow older, without accumulating much if any wisdom.
Be younger.
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Burnout is real. Step back for a bit and return rested, instead of abandoning the fight for justice entirely. Taking breaks is just as important as being active.
No time off from work, back in to the mines with you!
Get out and make friends. Yes I know it gets harder as you get older, but it’s often the difference between dying alone and demented young and sticking around and finding happiness until your body gives out.
Also, remember your grandparents and parents from time to time after they’re gone. It hurts but it’s good for you.
I’m trying but I’m in a new place and the past few years every time I start to make a friend….
Tap for spoiler
It turns out they love fascism.
Don’t be afraid of healthy change and always admit fault.
While some of the shit coming out in our current generation can be stupid or superfluous always take it in context and see how it could be used to better your life.
Ex. Increase in mental health awareness recontexualizes your childhood.
Also listening. Even if the shit coming out of your child’s/younger coworker mouth is some bonkers shit at least listen to them without judgement. Will make any criticism that much better received
I’m in a weird spot here at 30 years old, but let’s see…
My advice to
youngerpeople would be to take care of their mental health, and to do it via scientific practices.
For example, cognitive behavioral therapy has enough evidence of it working; therapy through spirits, don’t. Medication can be necessary and its effectiveness is proven; that’s not the case for extreme diets.Also, philosophical counseling is a thing and it is good, but just like psychotherapy, it may not be enough. Sometimes we are dealing with mental disorders that require pharmacological treatment. Conversely, psychiatry and medication are there for people who need it, but sometimes we don’t need it and we need better habits, better environment, counseling, etc. It is usually a combination of many things the way we can start feeling better.
I’ll still read the advice from others because, well, I’m sure I can learn a lot from them.
Edit: I thought it was the other way around. Oh, well, it still applies. I wish my parents and other people their age would give mental health treatments a try.
Middle class people often think that they’re barely getting by but forget that they live larger and more luxurious than necessary.
Yeah but the theft of wealth from the middle class doesn’t become false because a few people live it large.
In fact, middle class is always encouraged to live it large by 24X7 marketing by corporations.
Just because a comment contains a criticism of X group doesn’t mean it’s a condemnation of the group and thereby a repudiation of all their grievances.
Of course middle class people get stolen from, but they often use their job as an excuse not to organise which is lame imo because I know a lot of people who have it worse and put in way more effort in community building
Fuckin A man. I entered middle class briefly, for the first time in my life, by landing a coding job at six figures.
I let myself get warped, ethically, by my desire not slip below that line again, back into struggle.
But, fortunately for me, stepping away from the right path sapped my energy and I failed at the job and got fired. During the time I had that job my health suffered.
Now I realized that, at least for me, the only way I can rise sustainably is if I stay in accordance with my conscience. And the way it hurt my health, it made me realize it’s actually the right move to sacrifice the money to the conscience. The good feeling is better than anything money can buy.
I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s real for me. And honestly I feel fortunate to be weak enough that I can’t really operate in the world without that extra dopamine kick from my conscience. Like my discipline and focus aren’t great, and things fall apart when I start breaking promises and making bad ones and doing sloppy work for bad reasons, etc.
I’ve seen this play out first hand with people gradually climbing up the socioeconomic ladder as they reach middle age. They forget how things were at the lower middle class compared to the upper middle or even proper upper class.
It gets hard to talk about these days with the social media bullshit muddying up discourse. Because people start seeing red at the mere idea of broaching this topic.
People also have no idea what classes mean. Someone making 40k per year and someone making 400k per year will both say they are middle class. And both would be wrong.
They will both agree to broad idea that “rich bad” and “middle class is struggling”. Their relative suffering is what they both agree on even though they’re different.
If the 40k person saw how the 400k person lives in real life, they would be rolling out the guillotine for the 400k dude. But without proper context online that 40k person will go to bat for the 400k person if anyone brings up the topic of lifestyle.
The further up the scale the more luxury there is. However people work with more binary thinking. So it’s easier to point at the dudes making 1000k or more. The territory of more unfathomable weath. Really there’s a lot of excess going on way before we reach the multi-millionaire to billionaire strata.
I don’t know if it’s even possible anymore (heck it’s hard for me at 40), but try to put something in retirement funds. If your work as a 401k, try and contribute. If you leave the job, your money can then go to an IRA. How do you do that? Beats me - I have five or six requirement accounts, each topping out at around between $2-5k.
Also, brush your teeth and if you grind them in your sleep - get a dentist to fit you for a mouth guard.
It’s because you fucked up the assignment. Under 30 give advice, over 30 receive advice.
He fucked up by revealing his age?
I mean, even without straight up saying his age, the advice is boomer-coded. I’m not even saying it’s bad advice. But it’s not relevant to the title of the post.
We’ll my reading comprehension is quite shitty in the morning. Carry on with the down votes.
I’ve “rolled” a couple 401ks into a Vanguard account. Just set up a Vanguard traditional IRA (or Fidelity is good too) and follow their instructions. In both my cases my old 401k admin sent me a check and I forwarded it to Vanguard within a certain time frame. If you don’t know what fund to choose just pick “Vanguard Target Retirement XX” for whatever year you turn retirement age (Fidelity has equivalents).
The reason I say Vanguard or Fidelity is because they have rock bottom fees and also they are huge so they’ve worked this out with basically everyone.
Find a hobby that will allow you to keep your sanity during difficult times (unemployment and such) and after you retire.
