Not like “I went to school with one” but have had an actual friendship?

I’ve had a couple of conversations recently where people have confidently said things about the Black community that are ridiculously incorrect. The kind of shit where you can tell they grew up in a very white community and learned about Black history as a college freshman.

Disclaimer: I am white, but I grew up in a Black neighborhood. I was one of 3 white kids in my elementary school lol, including my brother.

  • Vanth@reddthat.com
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    2 months ago

    Where I currently live, there is a decent sized community of people who immigrated from Jamaica. My friends who are black are almost all from this Jamaican group and will very directly tell you how you’re wrong if you call them african american instead of black.

    One friend in particular is very good at telling me when I am wrong about her culture. Apparently, I absolutely ruined the red snapper dish I made by how I handled the eyeballs. She has shared this fact with her extended family. Her cousin now knows me as “the white girl who can’t cook snapper”. It’s all in good fun, food is the best way to bond across cultural lines, IMO, including when it involves a bit of teasing.

    I grew up in a very white community. I didn’t have any black friends until I moved elsewhere for college. Idk, it doesn’t seem that difficult to me. I’m a woman and certainly don’t like men explaining my life experiences to me; so it’s quite natural for me to be empathetic to other groups by extension. I won’t say I’ve never made incorrect assumptions, but I try not to double down defensively when I’m informed that I am wrong.

    Edit: ope, forgot about a high school friend who moved in, attended for a year, and moved away. She was such a good friend, I wish I had had the social skill wherewithall to keep in touch with her after she moved away. She identified as Nigerian american first, black second, never heard her call herself African american. I certainly learned some things about second-gen Nigerian american culture from her, and it was obvious it is not the same experience that every black person has.

    Final note: who the hell is going to answer your question with a “yep, I have no African american friends but I hold strong opinions about their culture, like how they’re all into rap and basketball”?

    • Cryophilia@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 months ago

      To be honest, I’m definitely expecting some assholes to show up with “I once walked past a Black man on the street, anyway here’s my manifesto on racism”.

      What’s the proper way to handle the eyeballs?

      • Vanth@reddthat.com
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        2 months ago

        Either leave them in or remove them and make a special little side dish, according to my friend. I removed them and didn’t do anything with them and that was a waste of perfectly good eyeballs.

        Most of the younger family members don’t like the eyeballs. They leave them for the older folks. But they will still proudly correct me to defend their heritage, lol. Fine, my ancestors were big on head cheese; you won’t find me eating it, but I’m happy it exists somewhere out in the world.

        • Cryophilia@lemmy.worldOP
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          2 months ago

          Sounds nasty, but I’ll try anything once. Reminds me of what my 2nd generation Chinese coworkers say about chicken feet and other unusual Chinese food. On the other hand, everyone who’s tried lengua says it’s good but everyone who hasn’t gets the ick.