Say you realized they gaslighted you 2 days ago, so you asked for time to process the discussion. Now, you have to reconnect to address this.

  • Varyk@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    I don’t understand why people don’t think you were not being manipulated here, this sounds like typical gaslighting.

    They sound self-absorbed, so they see things their own way and want you to also see things their way, even if that means changing what happened.

    After only 6 weeks and at least three attempts at manipulation, you should calmly and plainly tell them with very specific undeniable examples that you realize they are changing the facts in these stories to get you to agree with them and you need them to stop that.

    If they have a rational, calm response to you explaining why you need them to stop gaslighting you, then okay.

    If they ovverreact or get unreasonably angry and immediately blame you(“well, you…”) then you should probably stop spending less time with that person, better none.

    • HottieAutie@lemmy.dbzer0.comOP
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      4 months ago

      Thank you! I’m here asking for advice on how to respond to gaslighting, and people are telling me it’s not gaslighting. I don’t have to prove with specific details that it’s gaslighting as if I’m in a fight with them. Yet, when I provide the details anyway, I’m told it is not gaslighting. I’m thinking they’re trolling me by gaslighting me further or theyre just that unhealthy.

      Additionally with this girl, these are only the gaslighting attempts. There have been a few other manipulation tactics used as well. I rather not share them, but they were quite concerning on their own.

      I will absolutely not tolerate any gaslighting, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt twice in 6 weeks just in case I’m wrong anyway. I really rather end it. I just don’t know how to do it without making it a major issue or hinting at blaming her in anyway whatsoever.

      • Varyk@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Yea, that makes sense, there’s no point banging your head about it unless there’s a compelling reason to stay, especially after 6 weeks.

        Manipulation is particularly difficult because they might not be fully aware that they’re doing it and they can obviously get better at it every time you bring it up if you are being honest and they’re not.

        Sounds like it’s time to break this off, best of luck.

      • Apollo42@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        The fact that only replied to the person agreeing with you and not the 10 people who disagreed with you is pretty telling.