@bruhbeans somebody let me know, stat!

The sorosbucks seem to be drying up lately. All these abortions aren’t going to pay for themselves, I might have to go paint a few crosswalks with rainbows to make up the difference

I’m funded by Soros’ housemaid

I’m sponsored by Big Gay to promote liking cocks. They have a good health plan which includes free prostate exams. The PTO is a bit underwhelming tho; they really expect you to push cockliking 24/7, 365. It’s hard

I’m currently freelance antifa, the gig work pays better

Still haven’t gotten my first check in the mail so when you figure out how to put in your information with them please tell me

Wait, you all get paid?!

My recruiter told me this was entirely a volunteer position.

Big Gay Tech

Currently I get my salary indirectly from the International Clandestine Chemtrail Cabal (IPCC), with the social media PR side more as a side hustle.

I’m being funded by penguins. I don’t know why, I don’t even like mackerel that much but these fuckers swam from Antarctica, up the Mississippi, up a few tributaries, to deliver more fish than I know what to do with. So I can’t tell them to fuck off and that I already am on their side. That’d just be mean. So anyways, anybody want some fish?

I’m funded by Big Small, the lobbying group for those people who sell hand made crafts on the sidewalk.

I’m actually funding the shadowing leftwing cabal unfortunately. Would be nice if it went the other way but alas

Still waiting on the job offer from the DPRK for all the free propaganda I’ve written for them.

The adrestian empire

Tell them I offered a whole $5 more. If that doesn’t get management to scramble for a budget extension, nothing will.