A real relationship isn’t rooted in sex. It’s a nice bonus, but when you’re both old and grey, you better damn well hope you have more in common than just fucking since fucking is out of the question.
Sex is a nice bonus for people who like it and who have partners who are sexually giving and kind, but the majority of human relationships are rooted in everything outside of sex so you’re already doing right by focusing on the rest.
Sex is a footnote in life, compared to actually needing to know, understand, and care for your partner.
Also, just because you’re not motivated by sex doesn’t mean you can’t have it. I have a friend who likes sex, but is basically a practicing celibate because he has no interest in pursuing it. If it happens, he’ll enjoy it, but he’s not sex-driven, it doesn’t drive his decision making, so it doesn’t happen very often.
I have a slight problem when people say stuff like this.
Yes, I agree that sex shouldn’t at all be the most important thing in a relationship. And at some point many people aren’t able to have sex anymore. And sure, some people aren’t able to have sex to begin with.
But for most people on the planet, sex is a huge (although obviously usually not the only) component of a relationship and a basic need. So when you can’t have sex, it very severely and significantly limits your dating pool. Pretending it doesn’t is very unhelpful and just not realistic…at least not in the modern, Western world. Other cultures might work differently.
And I think the only reason people are so sex obsessed is because they’re from a sexually repressed society.
So we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.
Edit: It’s a bit like saying to a gay person “but your dating pool will be more limited if you only choose to fuck the same gender.” Maybe… That’s beside the point.
Oh, Mr. Flickerman. Old people have sex. More than young people since now not as many distractions, no young kids or chance of pregnancy. I think a better way to express this is, it’s not important as long as it’s not a problem. I agree the friendship part is more important, but having a similar sex drive makes everything work better, and sex is not a silly thing to need in a romantic relationship, it’s not a frivolous extra.
A real relationship isn’t rooted in sex. It’s a nice bonus, but when you’re both old and grey, you better damn well hope you have more in common than just fucking since fucking is out of the question.
Sex is a nice bonus for people who like it and who have partners who are sexually giving and kind, but the majority of human relationships are rooted in everything outside of sex so you’re already doing right by focusing on the rest.
Sex is a footnote in life, compared to actually needing to know, understand, and care for your partner.
Also, just because you’re not motivated by sex doesn’t mean you can’t have it. I have a friend who likes sex, but is basically a practicing celibate because he has no interest in pursuing it. If it happens, he’ll enjoy it, but he’s not sex-driven, it doesn’t drive his decision making, so it doesn’t happen very often.
I have a slight problem when people say stuff like this.
Yes, I agree that sex shouldn’t at all be the most important thing in a relationship. And at some point many people aren’t able to have sex anymore. And sure, some people aren’t able to have sex to begin with.
But for most people on the planet, sex is a huge (although obviously usually not the only) component of a relationship and a basic need. So when you can’t have sex, it very severely and significantly limits your dating pool. Pretending it doesn’t is very unhelpful and just not realistic…at least not in the modern, Western world. Other cultures might work differently.
And I think the only reason people are so sex obsessed is because they’re from a sexually repressed society.
So we’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.
Edit: It’s a bit like saying to a gay person “but your dating pool will be more limited if you only choose to fuck the same gender.” Maybe… That’s beside the point.
Oh, Mr. Flickerman. Old people have sex. More than young people since now not as many distractions, no young kids or chance of pregnancy. I think a better way to express this is, it’s not important as long as it’s not a problem. I agree the friendship part is more important, but having a similar sex drive makes everything work better, and sex is not a silly thing to need in a romantic relationship, it’s not a frivolous extra.