I’m 34 and yeah I’m still living with my mother, share the room with my uncle, her brother (he lives with us).
I don’t have a job right now but even when I HAD a full time job I didn’t had intention of moving, I don’t have a partner to share the bills and living alone could fuck completely my life and not just partially.
If you think that’s weird I have 3 uncles, in their late 50 still living with my grandma in their big house. Only 1 of them are married and the other 2 never had a gf. All that part of the family is living there.
Saying that after also talking about how your situation is depressing to you indicates you want things to be different but aren’t ready to try to make anything different. People’s life circumstances can fuck with them, for sure, but the only person who can make anything different for you is you.
You’re stuck having a pity party for yourself and you’ve spun your self-hatred into hatred for “the world.” Try really hard to let go of whatever shame and self-hatred you’re holding on to and accept that none of us are perfect, and there are actually plenty people out there who would accept you and be your friend if you treat them with respect.