“Hear ye, hear ye! It is hereby declared that the illustrious title of Most Qualified Employee, and with it the weighty responsibility of running this corpulent company, shall be passed down to the employee who rises to the occasion like a perfectly baked soufflé and demonstrates the most beefy credentials and chubby qualifications.
To ensure a buttery-smooth transition, we shall evaluate each candidate’s credentials with a fine-tooth comb, weighing their skills and experience like a well-balanced scale. The chosen one must have a talent as rich as double cream, a work ethic as solid as a pound of cheddar, and leadership as commanding as a towering stack of pancakes.
Let it be known that the path to this lofty (and hefty) position is no piece of cake. Candidates must show they’ve got the guts and gristle to handle the job, bringing more to the table than just a meaty resume. They must prove themselves in the frying pan of daily operations, sizzling with the kind of excellence that turns ordinary employees into seasoned pros.
So gird your loins, flex your flab, and prepare to show that you’ve got the chops to take a bite out of the competition. The future of our portly powerhouse depends on it.”
The official decree:
“Hear ye, hear ye! It is hereby declared that the illustrious title of Most Qualified Employee, and with it the weighty responsibility of running this corpulent company, shall be passed down to the employee who rises to the occasion like a perfectly baked soufflé and demonstrates the most beefy credentials and chubby qualifications.
To ensure a buttery-smooth transition, we shall evaluate each candidate’s credentials with a fine-tooth comb, weighing their skills and experience like a well-balanced scale. The chosen one must have a talent as rich as double cream, a work ethic as solid as a pound of cheddar, and leadership as commanding as a towering stack of pancakes.
Let it be known that the path to this lofty (and hefty) position is no piece of cake. Candidates must show they’ve got the guts and gristle to handle the job, bringing more to the table than just a meaty resume. They must prove themselves in the frying pan of daily operations, sizzling with the kind of excellence that turns ordinary employees into seasoned pros.
So gird your loins, flex your flab, and prepare to show that you’ve got the chops to take a bite out of the competition. The future of our portly powerhouse depends on it.”