So. Without trauma dumping, I’ll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What’s a father’s day gift that says “you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay”?
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A “best dad” mug, but you cross out the “best”
A fathers day card from the dollar store. Include a gift card from the same dollar store. Put no money on the gift card.
Even better, buy a gift card for slightly more than the cost of the father’s day card. Use the gift card to buy the card so the remaining value is an odd number so it’s obviously used.
Give him nothing
That’s what I’ve been getting my dad. Haven’t heard any complaints from him in years.
Can confirm, have a bad dad, father’s day passes by without a word every year. That’s a long term message. Last few years I didn’t even realize it was father’s day. If I got him anything it would mean I’m thinking about him
This is the way.
you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay
To me it sounds like you’re looking for drama
This
Dead fish 🐟
Something nice, that he likes.
Anything else and you are definitely not trying to keep the drama at bay.
If you’re REALLY sure that ignoring the day would open the floodgates for retaliation, I’d text him or give a generic card. If he’s just gonna be angry and bitch at you, let him be angry and block his number.
If you’re currently in an abusive situation and possibly in harms way I think this might be beyond Lemmy’s paygrade, since we don’t know what sets him off. But it’s OK to play nice for the short term if it keeps you safe long enough to escape.
What’s his issue? Give him something tangential.
Big drinker? Cheapest bottle opener or a nip of his favorite sauce.
Angry asshole? Get him a therapy ball.
The biggest thing my condescending asshole stepdad taught me was “Kill them with kindness”. If you’re kind in a backhanded way, it’ll piss them off and you can feign innocence.
Personally I’d give him a box of dogshit
Or try to be more of an integrated whole instead of a human-shaped piece of shit, and use weapons as weapons, and kindness as kindness.
Drugs from the darknet delivered anonymously.
A blank card.
Best thing though is what others said, nothing.
That sounds like a great gift though.
Some kind of random stuff from the drug store or discount store. Just a “I put minimal expense and effort into getting this.”
Yeah I’ve thought about just doing a few candy bars or something. I think the sunk cost fallacy has kicked in, so I almost want to go higher effort but bad lol
A shit candy bar, some random tube socks, and off-brand hair growth meds
Lol I love it
“World’s Best Dad” mug with the word “Best” crossed out?
My wife suggested “number one sad” with a card explaining that he was, in fact, my first dad lol
Ugly socks?
Honestly that’s kind of what I’m thinking. Then he has to store them, and he’d feel like he had to wear them at least once. Just a little upsetting for him.
Off-brand scented candle set.
It says I don’t know you at all, but here’s your present.
Ooh I like this. Especially since he hates strong smells.
Get something like Bergamont; something so few people actually genuinely like, but smells fancy with a quick whiff. Boring and unexpressive after 30 seconds.
Alternatively, try something like cupcakes or vanilla icing. The kind of candle that would give you a headache.
It’s also practical because the gift is cheap without looking cheap.
I’m sorry to say that I’m speaking from personal experience.
Hm… I wonder if Walmart still has watermelon scented candles. “But dad, it smells just like summer!”
Oh my gosh I had those! They did actually smell good with a quick sniff, but I hated them so much I threw out the rest.
Yeah my wife loved the smell in the aisle, but it got old really fast at home lol
As a bonus, with those cheap candles there’s a decent chance burning them fills his house with toxicity.
Just like him!
Sixpack of beer? (Optionally alcohol-free, if his bad behavior is related to alcohol abuse.)
That would be especially funny because he’s Mormon, and he’s very upset I’m not.
Copy of the south park episode on Mormons?
A “Moroni is full of bologna” T-shirt?
What about a difficult plant to maintain? Maybe a cactus or something? So he has to make an effort keep it alive, or slowly watch it die, like the relationship he has with you
But then the plant would die :(
Hm… getting him more work, I love it.
A mimosa is excellent for this purpose. And it’s pretty too.
