Obviously I’m talking about two adults, I’m just wondering when it goes from okay to “a bit iffy”, either older or younger
Are there any?
If you’re 18+, you’re free to be with whoever you want to be. As long as no abuse is going on in either direction, and both are happy, who am I to judge
I don’t know, toddlers should be a no go.
16 and 15 shouldn’t date?
That’s not what’s being said. From the context of an adult dating some, 15/16 is too young unless the older person is really close to that age (18, 19 at a push and I only think like that because I’m from somewhere with an age of consent of 16. Places with AoC of 18 would obviously be skewed older).
When one of the people is on the younger side, the old rule of thumb (age of older person/2+7) is a best practice for what would be considered inappropriate.
I was asking if they thought that people under 18 shouldn’t date.
15 and 16 pair work by the 1/2 + 7 rule, but not by “Anything goes 18+” rule
I know what you were asking but your question reads as “So you don’t like waffles?”. No-one was saying anything about anyone under the age of 18, only what minimum age is appropriate for anyone who’s already a legal adult. I think 15-17 are fine dating amongst themselves but that’s an age where parental consent is concerned in a lot of places.
Oh, interesting! Is parental consent legally required for certain ages to date in some places?
This is where I can only speak broadly since every country (and state/province) has it’s own laws but from a legal standpoint, minors need parental consent to do a great many things. Dating in the broad term such as a young couple going to see a movie with each other would likely be seen as an innocuous activity and not worth a court’s time. Where laws get involved are when it comes to physical intimacy and they can be loose or draconian. Just in the US alone, there are laws that dictate minors of the same age are able to do as they please, some have the “Romeo & Juliet law” otherwise known as the close-in-age law, and others deem physical intimacy between minors as strictly illegal meaning if 2 minors of the same age had sex, they’d both be committing sexual assault against a minor. To put the power of parental consent into perspective though, in the UK it was possible for a couple wherein one or more of the two were 16 or 17 were legally able to marry with parental consent. This was true until as recently as 2023 due to child abuse issues but that’s incredibly recent for such a thing.
Someone in their thirties shouldn’t be dating an undergrad or retiree. Anything in between is probably fine.
Half the older age plus 7.
Half your age +7 years. 30yo can date 22yo.
I don’t think a 20 year old should date a 17 year old though
A 10 year old can only date 12 year old and older. I don’t make the rules
But the 12 year old can only date 13 year old and older, so the 10 year old is out of luck…
No dating before 14.
The high school to college transition makes things complicated for reasons other than just ages.
America-centric. Other countries split the education path in different sections.
I think the rule breaks down any time before ~21 (always round up). In general, if you’re over 18, don’t date someone under 18. If you’re both under 18 idk but probably don’t exceed a two year age gap.
If you’re 19-20, get fucked I guess.
They could be in a similar phase of life. I was still 17 when I started college and had a full-time job. A 20 year old could still be in high school if they were held back. This is kind of the range where you can start counting months or talking about how different school systems have different cutoff dates that can mess with things.
I would not recommend 20 year olds and 17 year olds date in general. But it’s very possible for two people of those ages to date without being creepy or having problems.
Yeah I meant like legally. Statutory rape and all.
Romeo and Juliet laws are fairly common. 24 states allow a 2 to 5 year age difference. AFAIK, federal law allows up to a 4-year age difference.
The other 26 seem kinda stupid. Two kids can be in the same class and dating since 6th grade, but for 6 months in their senior year, it’s rape. How does that make sense?
There’s gotta be some stricter “rules”. Because 19 dating 15 would be weeeeiiiiiird. It’s always iffy because the older you get. The larger the gap is acceptable. Like 25-10 is gross AF right. But 55-40 isn’t a huge deal.
22-46 is acceptable.
I can’t imagine a 22yo with 30yo.
You are going through such different stages in your lives.
One is most likely still in school, the other may be trying to run their own busuiness, or strive for children. There may be common grounds, but at 22 I would not suggest settling down.
I’m 30, I feel like so far behind peers I could relate with a 22yo girl I’m sure
I’ve known a guy, dated an 18yo while being ~33-35…
We sat down and talked about the relationship.
Me: dude, it’s fine if you tell me it’s all about sex, just please tell me what do you really get out of that relationship?
Dude: no you don’t get it, she’s so mature for her age, we have common things, we talk a lot
Me: what do you talk about? do you talk about her homework?
Dude: noo, we talk about life and such
Couple weeks later dude is single. At least then he admitted it was just about the sex.
The gap was wider than 22 and 30, but still, it’s too much.
18 is definetly too low, they still look like children to me I agree, but 22-23? If they work they arent behind me in their life. But yeah the gap is wide.
They are behind you in the brain development if nothing else.
Also their back doesn’t hurt yet :D
Yeah, ya ain’t fully adult until like 25 imho
Honestly, I’ve met so many people at either age or older who were at either stage in their life. A 22 yo can be done with their training and fully working, even having their own business while a 30 yo is still trying to find themselves.
Sure, but how common is that? There are exceptions to every rule.
But still at 25 your brain is not fully formed, and as such you may consider some wilder ideas.
If they are both consenting adults and personalities don’t cause a toxic environment what does it matter.
I got a vivid image of two age gapped goons spilling toxic waste into a river while snickering to themselves. Definitely don’t do that. And definitely let me go grab my coffee as I’m still in dream mode.
Every kid in my high school knew the “half your age plus 7” rule for bounding are gaps:
Age of younger person in the relationship = (Age of older person in the relationship / 2) + 7
So if you are 30 then you can date from 22 to 46. Science!
Though, really, beyond your mid-20s I think you can date as old as you like. As long as everyone is consenting, open, and honest, then have fun.
The half + 7 also makes it more likely that the two of you have some overlapping life experiences which helps a lot with compatability.
50 and 32? Maybe, I guess?..
More likely than 50 and 22…
I’m 100 years old! Gonna get me a niiiiiiice 19 year old!
What? I don’t give a shit about your little dating rules. I’m 100! I’m gonna get my dick wet using money that won’t be usable in 2 years!
Now then. Who wants to feed me 30 viagra, and get anally pounded for $20,000? Lets get real weird with it!
I’ve always heard the “half your age plus seven” rule (mostly somewhat jokingly) for the appropriate minimum age of your partner. But I read somewhere that it’s origin is from some 18th century manual for finding a wife, wherein it indicated the MAX age of an appropriate wife…
I think you stumbled upon the Republican manual for dating in the 21st century
Depends on where everyone is in their life. An undergrad shouldn’t be dating someone graduated and in a stable working condition. Once your past a certain age, it becomes fairly useless as a question of appropriateness- with things like life experience, goals and present conditions being more important.
even then; it’s about maintaining a healthy balance of power in the relationship. if it’s a one night stand and everyone involved are consenting adults; that’s none of our business.
6?
I think that’s too young to be dating at all
I know a relationship therapist with a list. Everyone needs to be:
- Legal.
- Capable of enthusiastic consent.
- Enthusiastically consenting.
- Respectful.
- Aware of each other’s expectations.
Check the boxes and have fun.
That’s subjective. Two adults can do whatever they want. The rest is just other people’s opinions and those opinions can also be “a bit iffy”. The more you listen to other people’s arbitrary morals, the iffier things get and you soon realize you should just have followed your own intuition to begin with.
I think life situation is probably more important than strictly age. If you’re an independent 30 year old working a full time job you probably don’t want to date a college student that lives with their parents.
If they are looking to date younger, I’d say that 25 would probably be the realistic minimum, as that is the age by which the brain is fully developed. If a thirty year old is looking to date older, I don’t really see any real limit. Their brain is fully developed, and they’ve been an adult long enough that they can evaluate the pros and cons of the older person.
Iirc, it’s not that the brain finishes development at 25, but that the study this point comes from stopped following its subjects at age 25. A broader look at neuro-development seems to suggest that the brain never stops ‘maturing’. It’s not always improving tbc, but there also isn’t some definitive line that makes someone cerebraly adult.
Not sure what that means in regards to this thread, but I do feel it’s worth pointing out.
Just had this conversation oddly enough. I’m of the mindset that consenting adults can do as they please BUT power dynamics I feel are far more important than age. If your power dynamics is unbalanced, you can be the same age and have it all go wrong if they’re your manager for instance, but if you’re 18 and your 40-year-old coworker who works in the same dept wants to jump your bones, I say no harm, no foul.
My wife and I are almost 10 years apart. We met right before her 30th birthday, I was also once the younger partner when I was 20 and my then-gf was 34. That failed for a number of reasons, but I don’t think age was one of them. With legal, consenting adults, whatever works for you is fine, I think.
