I’m in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
The old joke, “If you want to live forever move to a small town because every day will feel like an eternity.”
Time does seem to move more quickly the older I get. Maybe I want it to slow down. Though I wonder what difference the size of town or city really makes?
It’s the rush and hubbub of those around you. You won’t expect things to happen instantly because there aren’t enough people around to jump when you ask. I live in South Florida now, and if I want a tree cut down on my property, I can call an arborist and he will be there to estimate and probably complete the job in a matter of days. I am moving to NH, and the same service they are like “we only do estimates on Saturdays…and it’s raining this Saturday… So maybe next Saturday we can come out for an estimate”.
It’s not a terrible thing. You get used to things taking a little longer. Might be a long walk or a bit of a drive to get to your favorite diner, but you know the people there now, and you can spend a bit more time on breakfast catching up with them.
Shops probably close a bit earlier too. You might as well go home for the night early since nowhere is open. Might be nice to catch up on reading that book this evening. You can shop tomorrow. Etc etc.
I think this really, really depends on the country.
I’ve noticed that eccentric people tend to drift towards rural areas. My in-laws live in the middle of nowhere in the West Country in the UK and all of their neighbours are similar to them: eccentric singletons or couples with few friends.
My experience- YMMV. Be careful who you talk to and what gossip you engage in. Basically everyone knows everyone to some degree. Everybody is somebodies cousins friend or something. Its a good thing when you get used to it, more security and whatever, but it does mean that any social damage you do (cheating on someone for instance) will have far wider consequences than you realise.
Job hunting is extremely difficult for the same reason unless you’re trained in some in-demand specialist skill. Every job goes to someone’s cousin. In my last factory job we had an idiot working there, constantly on the verge of getting sacked, he attended a funeral one day and discovered that his dead cousin was also cousins with the manager. He was team leader the very next week for his overall diligence to duty.
The selection shrinks… on everything. 30 beers on tap at that nice brewhouse becomes 3 at the local watering hole. 20 different unique restaraunts becomes a subway and a chinese place. Groceries? Sure, enjoy your walmart and dollar general.
Bar culture is a waste of money anyways.
You can get more variety at a cheaper price from grocery stores. It doesn’t make sense to pay more money to drink at a bar with people who you’re not close enough to visit each other’s homes.
Anyone who spends $7 on a shot when an entire bottle costs $12 isn’t using their brain.
I go to the pub after work once a week to catch up with friends who are there.
I wouldn’t see them otherwise
Meeting people at the grocery store: 😰
If you’re not living a boring life, then you should naturally come across plenty of different people with plenty of different opportunities to make connections.
“Meeting people at the grocery store” is a lazy and ignorant excuse to justify going to bars. If you think those are your only two options, then you’re the problem and I pity anyone who gets caught in your web.
Why do I need to justify going to a bar?
Ask the people here trying to justify why they go to bars.
What is there to justify? Is going to bars immoral? Unethical?
Re-read my previous comment.
And you don’t understand that some people prefer the bar. But I guess you have the only right way to do things.
If you’re insecure about getting taken for a ride, that’s on you. There’s no argument you can make to change the fact that you are being fleeced when you buy alcohol at bars. Drug addicts say the same things when they are paying 500%+ markup on their drugs. “It’s worth it to them.”
Keep going to bat for the people ripping you off. It’s what’s expected of you.
Lol I’m not insecure, nice try. When I went to a bar I had a pint or three in good company, sometimes, shocker!, we even ate at a restaurant, even if I could have been paying less for something cheap from the supermarket and eat at home.
But you do you, watch out for scurvy as you eat crappy cheap food alone at home lol, counting every penny.
Lol I’m not insecure
Sure bud. That’s why you keep trying to justify to us why you’re not getting ripped off when you are.
I might as well be talking to a heroin addict. They don’t think they’re getting ripped off, either.
I’ve sold drugs to people like you before, and it’s always sad when you don’t realize how much money I’m making off of your ignorance.
Yeah, I’m a pretty cheap person, but I don’t go to a bar to save money, I go to relax and socialize.
I was with you until you said grocery store beer. No selection at grocery stores in my area unless you want a lager.
I’m mostly referring to liquor because it’s the most economical way to get drunk.
My local Walmart has a decent selection of beers, but I’ve been to HEBs that have entire sections devoted to craft beers. It may depend on the grocery store in question.
You can still get a better selection at a cheaper price at liquor stores than bars.
I’m mostly referring to liquor because it’s the most economical way to get drunk.
Why not bathtub moonshine? That is even more economical.
Hey man, if you have more money than sense that’s your problem. You don’t have to go around replying to everything I post trying to explain why you like getting ripped off.
The profit margins for the alcohol you buy at bars is significantly higher than alcohol you buy in stores. You’re getting ripped off, and in typical useful idiot fashion, you need to figure out some way to avoid acknowledging it.
Did you reply to the wrong comment or something? This doesn’t make any sense.
If you don’t want to understand something, then you won’t understand it.
I don’t expect more from you.
If you think the only use of a pub is to get drunk then I think you’re using them wrong…
How small we talking?
Around 2,000 people
Oh wow, yeah, truly small. It depends on your own outlook and how willing you are to assimilate, or if you’re okay with being kind of an outcast who sticks to themselves. If for instance you’re a young progressive atheist moving to a rural Tennessee town of deeply religious conservatives, yeah that’s not going to be fun. Small Vermont ski town? You’ll fit right in. Alaskan town? They’ll be conservative, sure, but given the weather and isolation, people have a tendency to rely upon each other and that brings the community closer together.
I grew up rural just outside a town of about 30,000 that was just transitioning to a formally-designated small city. You could go to the grocery store and not see people you knew 2 out of 3 times, I’d say. It’s not always bad. We’re social creatures and the internet has gotten us away from that, somewhat detrimentally.
The pond gets small really fucking quick. You will run into someone you know almost every time you leave the house. You can’t just blend in and get away from anything. Including whatever reputation you develop.
It’s honestly fucking awful.
Y’know, that’s the primary thing people cite as being nice about a small town. Interesting it was a nasty surprise for you.
“Why don’t you go to church?” gets tedious after the 14,000th time.
He couldn’t hide his reputation enough lmao
Also Ontario, not quite as small as you are mentioning but I also came from a much bigger city:
- services you are used to and good you could find easily just… don’t exist? My dryer broke and I wanted to find a laundry mat that had hours that worked for me and my work schedule, but nope.
- people are all up in each other’s business and it’s normal. Gone are the days where I could have a quiet cry on public transit (lol what public transit) - people pay so much attention to your comings and going
- because there is so much less anonymity you kind of have to make the effort to get along with people you might not otherwise like. Tangential: the number of people I see in unhealthy, unhappy relationships because they honestly “didn’t have any other options” is wild.
- people are way more xenophobic than I expected. Casually racist too, not really understanding that it’s racism. I know it’s not everyone and I think it’s because they don’t know anyone belong to demographics that are different than them.
- I’m like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it’s a problem for some people.
- if you need a recommendation for a service, honestly ask your neighbor or someone you generally trust. They will know someone and that person is usually pretty good. We asked our home inspector if they knew any well people and he gave us a first name. After some googling we found him and he was excellent lol.
people are all up in each other’s business and it’s normal.
Do you have any stories to tell about that?
I’m like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it’s a problem for some people.
I’m also curious about what this is like. I’m probably a bit more “alternative” in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won’t recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
Do you have any stories to tell about that?
No specific stories come to mind, but my neighbor who is a very chill live-and-let live dude knows everything about all the other neighbors. He’s probably in his late 30s so he’s not a retiree sitting around watching people come and go.
I think it might be more that people get to know each other more and make more observations about people because there are less data points, if that makes sense? Whereas in the bigger city people are aggressive about not remembering you/not paying attention outside of certain situations (like getting to know people at the dog park).
Maybe the thing that sticks out are people in shops striking up convos and remembering you. One woman at the hardware store remarked that it was weird to see us because it wasn’t Sunday.
I’m also curious about what this is like. I’m probably a bit more “alternative” in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won’t recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
Tattoos are very common here but there is also a lot of military so it might corelate. I have tattoos and piercings but for the first time in my professional life my boss had tattoos as well lol. I’m an engineer who works mostly with the trades but maybe 10% of the time I’m dealing with “fancy” office engineers so maybe they do have more of a problem with my tattoos, piercings, and field gear wardrobe than I initially thought.
In my specific situation I think the fact that I’m not as formal or deferential as they were expecting. I am very straightforward and I expect people to be straightforward with me too. The field staff really appreciated it because they thought the big city girl would be pretentious and stuffy, but for others I didn’t follow the niceties they were expecting and I’m way too outspoken for a woman lol. In the bigger city there was less of a divide between the blue collar and white collar workers. I’m not used to that and the expectation to be “professional” meaning anything other than treating people with respect.
On the flip side of that people at all levels are way too comfortable pushing back on diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives very publicly. I haven’t gotten involved in that kind of stuff here because I’m still trying to get used to the job, settle in, etc. In the bigger city they might grumble a bit but would know better than to keep up the behaviors they were told wouldn’t fly. I gave positive space training to a group of millwrights back home, but I’m not sure I’d put myself in that situation here. It just feels 10 years behind. That’s not to say everyone is out there being problematic, but people are a lot more comfortable being a passive bystander and that’s allowing bullshit to continue.
Live and let live has a different vibe out in the sticks.
That makes sense that, because there are less people, it’s easier to keep track of each other even if it’s just due to passive observation.
I appreciate reading your insights. Thanks for sharing!
Good luck!
Not exactly city but still rather near to city center(15-20min drive), to a small town that’s quite remote from most stuff(35-50min drive).
Expectation: air quality would be good, quiet, very far commute to work
Reality: air quality is mostly good, quiet, very far from work.
Surprise: there’s one poultry farm nearby which make the air quality worst for certain time of day.
Not-surprise but still annoying: i picked up cycling after i moved here, and there’s no safe biking path to the city, even the backroad still require me to ride on a few km of road, and some fuck will not give ample space when passing through.
Surprise but a welcomed one: i get access to country-side cycling route via backroad.
Depending on the town, it might be very religious, which means everything will be closed on Sundays. Restaurants, grocers, hardware stores, all of it.
Also, in the US, rural/small town vibes usually mean conservative politics are what goes. If it’s a bedroom community, meaning most everyone commutes to the nearest city to go to work, then that’s less likely, but there’s no knowing until you’re there.
Also, in the US, rural/small town vibes usually mean conservative politics are what goes.
This is a good point which I’ve considered and looked into a bit. This is in Ontario, Canada. The small town voted Liberal in our recent federal election. The bigger city I’m leaving voted Conservative. Curious as it’s usually the other way around!
Here’s the thing about “groceries in town”. You will find deals at the deli/bakery and possibly the butcher areas of the store. Sometimes. That said, 80% of it is ridiculously priced.
What often happens is people store more food and bundle their drive into town for stuff.
I will, for example, do most of my grocery shopping after my last shift in a run. Less gas and bother and it’s on the way.
We have a large garden. Two freezers. Cold storage. Two fridges. Fruit trees. If a snow storm dropped and we were stuck for a month we’d be fine. The food would get boring, but we’d be fine.
The one danger to this move you’re making will be the sounds or lack thereof. Once you go rural you may have a very hard time going back to hearing people and their vehicles all the time. As in they become a point of grating stress until they stop.
I don’t even live in a rural area and am thinking of more ways to store/preserve food. Want to get a bunch of jars to preserve things in. Along with getting an allotment so that I can grow more although currently most fruits I forage from publicly accessible trees/bushes. Recently came back with a sack full of apples and cooked that down to about 5L of unsweetened apple sauce.
I was going to try dehydrating it but the first 2L batch has got me deciding fuck that, it will take so much time/energy to dehydrate it all. Storing it in jars should be much easier in comparison.
That’s something I’ve thought about. I already cook most of my food from scratch and expect I should stock up from the bigger town out of the way on occasion. My town does get a lot of snow.
As for the sounds, I’m so looking forward to peace and quiet. There’s always someone’s car alarm going off in the middle of the night, or the dogs getting into barking and howling matches. Hell is other people.
Our taco bell closes at like 9pm, which blew my mind. I assumed no one ate there before 11pm and alcohol or other substances were involved.
The community ain’t as wholesome… People are about as a nasty as they are in the big city but it is a lot more personal
I’m experiencing the exact opposite, personally.
My neighbors have been extremely kind and generous, on a level that couldn’t even be dreamed of in the city.
They’ve literally helped me cut my grass on several occasions out of pure kindness because they have a riding mower and I have a push one. And that’s just one family.
My car has also never been broken into after years of living here. In the city, all of my friends’ cars have been broken into.
The slutty farmer’s daughter is usually ugly but always a great lay.
Yeah. She will always be there when nobody responds to your booty call. Sluts are the real friends in your life.
Username totally checks out.
Where are you from?
Because my first piece of feedback is that the more you go rural the more it matters where the place is. Everybody below seems to be American and… man, based on what they’re saying I can tell you my experience doesn’t match theirs and I wouldn’t want theirs.
Ontario, Canada
Gotcha. Can’t really help you there, then.
