I’m trying to give someone advice on choosing a career that will suit them better than the one they’re in and hate. I wanted to get together a list of good questions for them to ask themselves so they can use the answers to compare options like “do you prefer to work sitting or moving around,” “do you want to not work weekends” etc.
Same with healthcare. I am a paramedic by trade, was the youngest in my class, youngest commander, went to work around the world, from the European Alps to the African jungle to Australian outback.
It was quite a journey.
But sadly I had to recognise that I am not cut out of the wood that is required to survive in today’s healthcare systems in industrial nations. It made me profoundly hate humans and even more sick humans. I dread every single day I still have to work with patients. Especially awake patients. I can’t handle them anymore. Don’t get me wrong. I am still giving 100%, sometimes more - and I don’t judge,like some other colleagues do over the years. I don’t care if you are a frequent flyer, a drunk or a murderer - I will give everything and be very nice to you. But inside me? I burn out.
It’s not that I can’t work with the misery,with things I’ve seen. It’s just that I can’t work with people and the system they are part of anymore.I am now lucky enough to mostly be “off the road” in a cushy,self employed, desk job. But still, I can’t fully leave healthcare,as I invested to much. And so I will torture myself again.
In less than 5 hours my alarm clock is going off for another shift. And I am dreading the moment it will.
Fuck.