For me, a random sales guy took the cake when he introduced himself as “Chief Innovation Evangelist”.
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I worked with a guy who was Happiness Officer and all my friends found it hilarious. He was pretty good at keeping the team happy though so I didn’t give him too much shit about it.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Actually i’ve had the rare privilege of working in companies that really valued their employee’s wellbeing. At least for some time. It was a combination of inexperienced founders, really convinced managers, and super enthusiastic investors who didn’t really know how to crack the market so they kind of gave us all freedom to do as we pleased. This was all pre-COVID of course but it was a blast to waste millionaire money for a few years.
I saw a job at an abbatior for a “first boner”. I knew what they meant and it was still funny.
Futurologist
I know that is used for someone who generally has a good enough grasp on science and technology to make rough approximations of what could happen as those fields progress, but it sounds like a fancy term for a psychic.
I’m switching my LinkedIn title to Futuronomist to avoid this kind of mixup
Maybe this doesn’t count but… I once had a manager who had “Master of All He Surveys” on his business card.
We didn’t get a long too well.
What is he secretly Lord Zedd or something?
I was once a flamer.
Worked in printing before things were phased to computers and had to shoot/cut out negatives on a light table for the press plates. It was called “stripping”. So, I was a stripper once without taking off any clothes.
Pharmacists are drug dealers. At least I call them that. 😁
Customer experience architect. The person with that job is an insufferable asshole.
“Photographer nose itcher” is one that comes to mind.
It’s not that the rationale doesn’t make sense (imagine trying to concentrate a camera and suddenly being itchy and wishing you had someone scratch you so you don’t have to unconcentrate your camera so you can free a hand in order to itch the itchy part), but imagine a second person following you around for that purpose in particular, like a photographer’s equivalent to the Piss Boy.
Ha
Sounds like piano player assistant, aka page turner
Not me but a buddy of mine was a “Cheese Monger”. I always found that one pretty funny.
Also when I was in high school, I was going through a book of prefessions in “Careers” class and I found “Chick Sexer”. Heh… Heheh… Chick Sexer.
“Thinker” is probably the most obnoxious one I’ve heard of, from the CTO of a tech company
An ideas guy with all kinds of ideas.
…most of which are complete shit.
I feel like besides being a silly title, I feel like it would rub me the wrong way if I worked at that company with any other title.
Because of the implication.
Nobody gonna bring up “fluffer”?
Erection engineer.
In some industries, the safety officer in charge is usually called the “competent person”.
My ancestor (born circa 1720) was a matchstick saleswoman. Her name was Gillette, same as the razor brand. I try to live up to her legacy
I really want the job of “head receiver,” like Jerry here.
