Is this a normal thing, to want to share your day with someone regularly? I’ve never felt the urge to do this, even on notable days. Wondering if anyone can explain their reasoning.
Only if something actually interesting happened. Interesting enough for me to still care about it once I walk out the office door. I think it irritates my wife that I don’t have more to tell her about my workday. But for me, I pretty much just mentally flip a switch when work is done, and don’t give a shit about it until 9am the next work day. I say this as someone who generally likes their job. I’m also lucky to work somewhere with no drama.
On the other hand, I have a coworker who has several 20+ minute phone calls with his wife throughout the day, where they tell each other literally every fucking thing that has happened to them since the last call. I cannot wrap my head around that level of co-dependency.
i believe that neurotypicals often naturally want to share their day with one another. as for me, i had to make a concerted effort to make it a habit. i felt that regularly telling my partner about my day and hearing about hers would be a good routine for keeping informed and bonding.
If there was something genuinely interesting I would want to share it yes. I can’t stand idle chit-chat though, and do everything I can to avoid it.
Note: I am single. I wonder why?
The day specifically, or anything about what you’re doing and what’s happening to you? Venting and talking about yourself are near-universal psychological needs, from what I can tell.
Not having to worry about them could actually be really handy, I guess, if that’s you.
For me, not at all. It just doesn’t even cross my mind to talk about my day unless something major happened. Some people can tell stories about anything and everything and for me it just doesn’t register as a thing to do.
Language is an important part of how most humans bond. The amount and content of the language varies from person to person, as do their preferences for various aspects of communication. There are very few humans who can feel close to another person with no communication (and language is our most easily-identifiable and possibly our most important method of communication. Notably, even groups of humans previously thought to communicate very little–like nonverbal autistic people, for instance–communicate a significant amount, even when it is nonverbal. But most humans communicate verbally in addition to other ways.
I’m saying it’s normal and a happy thing that people tell each other about their day.
My wife calls me and tells me everything about her day the moment she steps out of her HELLISH AND UNBEARABLE (but still air-conditioned) desk job, and then again when we’re home. 😅
Surprisingly (perhaps not?), I’m more of an all-purpose yapper and, when we’re done with our post-work rituals, will start talking about Plato, Jesus and geopolitics in long-form TED talks…
Yes, I love annoying my husband by telling him what the cat did while he was asleep! Mostly letting him know she was naughty, I love her, and that she watched me water the garden before trying to trip my ass.
My partner tells me these things and I love her for it. It’s both information (I usually care about what happened with the cats) and like a dolphin pinging other dolphins to let them know where and how they are.
I don’t really feel the urge either, but I use my day as a topic of conversation with my wife. Just talking with her is the goal.
I do it with my wife. For us, it’s a way of:
- Learning about the other’s day and what they do - whether that’s work or pleasure. I think that’s a big part of being in a relationship.
- If something’s happened that has made one of us happy/sad, sharing that helps us support the other. It also lets them know when there’s something going on that might affect our relationship. Even if they can’t help, it’s good to know there’s a problem so they don’t think it’s about them when I’m unduly quiet or down.
- As someone who sometimes doesn’t understand things obvious to others, it can be handy for a second opinion, or ask what they thought was meant. It also helps me post-process the day’s events and square them away.
If I didn’t have an SO, I’d probably do the same with my dog; although it might be a bit more one sided.
The dog just won’t let you get a word in edgeways, eh?
I also don’t really do it. I get that it’s a social ritual though. The listener demonstrates their interest in the speaker by caring or pretending to care about the minutiae of their day.
I’ve always been inclined toward the maxim, ‘Small minds talk about people. Average minds talk about events. Great minds tall about ideas.’ However, it’s hard to go from nothing to deep insight, so starting with an event can be a great step into tbe conversation.
Ehhhhh. That’s a self reassuring kind of statement . Most people, include morons, talk about ideas, reassuring themselves that they’re good ideas
Not unless there was something funny or truly interesting, otherwise it is a grunted “eh, same ol’”.
This would def be me if in a relationship. I’m gonna have to be on the lookout for a lady that doesn’t mind the stoic quiet type, haha
Yes, it’s very common. There are many reasons.
Sometimes I’m just excited to share something. Could be something trivial (“i saw a cat on the walk over and it looked right at me and said ‘meow’!”). Could be something bigger (“They finally fired Useless Bob at work”)
Sometimes people want to vent. Talking about something can be emotionally soothing.
Sometimes people want help or advice. “I can’t believe I’m spending $20 a day on lunch. The stupid sandwich I got wasn’t even good. What’s your strategy?”
Humans are social creatures.
As someone who is not in a relationship, i absolutely wish i had someone to share all the random things in my life with without too much judgment. For me, i feel/think i am very lonely at times. Freely sharing things with somebody and them freely sharing with me would make me feel like i belong at least somewhere in this world for at least a little bit. So i guess it’s about a sense of belonging for me
Interesting. I feel almost the opposite. I am also not in a relationship, but almost never feel lonely and have no desire to share most things with anyone. Having little experience I can’t say for sure, but it almost would seem like a chore to me to have those conversations. Probably explains why I’m usually single, haha
OP, my reasoning is that I kind of view the entire purpose of having an SO is to make them a part of my day to day life.
