For me, growing up, I was around people who saw games as useless and a waste of time, but I loved them
I’ve always been into computers and tech and was called techy and a gamer and each time, it was said with a sort of disgust from the person saying it.
It made me feel like I shouldn’t be friends with the few people like me, and I spent a lot of my childhood staying away from people, and making sure that people didn’t learn that I played games
Even now, I get slightly uncomfortable being called a gamer or techy or any synonym even though people don’t really think that anymore around here.
Anyone else have something similar?
About a million people have called me smart. The times that it followed me displaying above average intelligence were a small fraction of those times. Mostly it was a reflection of the person I was around being an idiot.
Pretty bad, a little kid called me Asshole Eyes when I was 17. I am 60 and still remember.
Gramps idk what asshole eyes even means but whoever that was has lived rent free in your head for 43 years. Let it go, I’m sure you’re a lovely person with great eyes.
Gramps 🤣
Let it go,
I didn’t even remember until I saw this thread.
I’m sorry but I’m gonna use that next time I need to burn someone 🤌
I agree. It was an Epic insult for a little kid to sling.
I saw someone say that God wasted a perfectly good asshole by putting teeth in your mouth, best insult ever
I heard a biker tell a cop to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut!
I stole it a few times because it is that good.
My dad used to use that one all the time. The PG version was “go take a long walk off a short pier”.
Everyone told me I was like my dad.
Feeling your pain.
And you didn’t like the analogy?
Idealistic. It was meant as an insult.
I feel this. It’s exactly as condescending as “naive” and means basically the same thing.
Growing up my parents always called me “the good kid”, especially my dad. It just made me feel super awkward and bad though, I didn’t take it as a compliment. These days neither of my other siblings talk to my parents anymore either, I’m the only one still in contact.
This really reminds me of my family dynamic. Anything I do, my dad can excuse, but the smallest mistake my younger brother makes is a travesty.
I end up in the drunk tank, and my dad’s only answer is “it stinks in there, eh? 😂”
My brother doesn’t reply to a text for a couple of hours, and it’s the end of the world.
I hate it, because my bro is a good kid, ultimately. But I can see how much the way my father treats him affects him negatively. It ends up being a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tell him. If it comes from the good kid he must think there is some truth to it.
My teacher said I had an “apple face”, apparently it’s supposed to be a compliment but kid me got pissed and felt insulted.
Oof yeah, my teacher used me as an example of someone with a round face in art class when I was about 10 and I still feel self-conscious about my face shape sometimes.
None of my friends knew that I played World of Warcraft. They wondered why I started sometimes going no contact and not going out with them on a weekend evening. It’s because I was doing arena, or raiding. They didn’t find out that me and my wife got very into WoW until several years later. I’m a dirt bike rider, a martial artist, and an athlete. The whole gamer nerd persona didn’t sit right with me, so I hid it.
“Mature for your age”, “more responsible than other kids”. All it did was make me fear having fun and feel extra guilt when I broke rules.
Not so much a verbal thing, but just the general first glance demeanor on a blind date or an internet date…tough to forget.
Also, growing up I was always told I’d never amount to anything spending so much time on computers and that I needed to do something with my life. Well, I made over $500k last year in software engineering consulting…so…yeah.
A lot of people seem to hold us asexuals as worthless because we don’t want families or don’t want traditional families, and many of these people speak their minds to me all the time, especially when they perceive an inconsistency in me applying the label to myself that isn’t really an inconsistency as much as a technicality.
As an asexual Moroccan, I was indeed a victim of this.
The best people in the world are people who don’t want kids and then don’t have them. The worst are the people who don’t want kids and do have them.
But procreation (or not) aside, people have way more worth to society than that.
I feel patronized whenever someone calls me smart or funny. As if they call me that because they think i’m insecure and i need a compliment. As if they call me smart like one would call a dog smart. I generally have a self-esteem problem that makes it difficult to take any compliments at all, but these in particular are bad because as a kid people used these as a euphemisms to talk about my awful social skills
Someone said I would be a good wife…I felt powerless and degraded. How did I manage to come off as so brainless and lacking in self respect that I’d have nothing better to do than be someone’s wife?
My family has said the same thing when doing something. Seems to be an old person thing to say.
How did I manage to come off as so brainless and lacking in self respect that I’d have nothing better to do than be someone’s wife?
genuinely curious, how did “you’d be a good wife” turn into “you’d be brainless and lacking in self respect, and would be nothing more than a spouse”?
Because what they clearly meant is that I came across as being nothing but help staff.
A good wife for someone, or for the person speaking? If the former, I probably agree with you. If the latter, I would mention that not all people have that image of a wife as someone defined by being housewife and executive assistant. Husband considers me a good wife because we love each other and I can handle the budget and hold down a job and cook so much better than he can (not a high bar to reach) but we are both adults, he cleans way more than I do, does the shopping at least half the time, we work together. He’d not consider a stereotype of traditional wife a good wife. I don’t know many people who do, come to think of it.
No a very traditional and backwards woman made a comment about how I’d be a good wife for her son who I don’t even know.
I don’t know how I managed to come across as that much of a worthless cored-out shell.
More likely she didn’t see you at all, only saw what she wanted to.
ETA: something like this happened to one of my daughters, her boss wanted her to marry his son (who she did not even like) basically because they liked her and wanted her in their family, and thought she’d be good for him, without even considering how bad he’d be for her!
Christ that’s so fucked.
I honestly can’t think of anything. Is there things people have said that I don’t like? Sure. But ones that made me feel awful? No, and if there was something like that it probably felt bad because deep down I knew they were right.
Offence is taken, not given. If you call me something I know not to be true I simply don’t care.
I don’t mind people calling me nerdy. Once overhead someone telling someone else at work that I was “so funny” when generally I keep it in check at work, and that felt complimentary as well.
But one time a yoga teacher told us in a class “you are bigger than you think” and I don’t even know what she meant, my stomach dropped, I felt absolutely awful. And while I am womanly as fuck, absolutely a woman, I dislike being seen as feminine. I don’t like being complimented on looking curvy, softness and squish freaks me out much more than it should. I know people mean those as compliments but they make me want to cry.
