This is becoming more common in my town. I just either feel like an ass saying I dont have cash, or lying, but I also can’t be giving out 20’s to everyone who asks.
I feel bad for most of them but at the same time I get anxiety walking down the sidewalk and seeing someone up ahead that I know is going to ask me for money. Its not like you can say “oh no, I donate to services that help the needy” because that person isn’t necessarily being helped by that. And ignoring completely feels so mean, plus I tried that one time and the person was screaming at me as i walked away that I ignored them.
I also dont want my city to round them up and send them to prison camps, something they are planning and that I know a lot of people would vote for just to “get rid of them” but im not supporting that at all.
Its tough.
I give what I can when I can. It’s rare to have actual cash, but if it’s close to a restaurant I just ask if they want food or drink and buy them something with my card. Takes 5 minutes and is just a small act of kindness and support from another person. Most people don’t even acknowledge they exist, let alone talk to them.
Life under capitalism seriously sucks for all of us (except a few hundred people), if I can maybe help make someone’s day a little less shitty I’ll try.
I don’t mean this in a judgemental way at all, but just remember that they are humans too, just like you or I. Most people do not realize just how insanely lucky they are to be able to do basic things like work and have a house and car and have money and all that many people don’t get the same opportunities and are dealt a bad hand in life through no fault of theirs. One big medical bill can make someone homeless in this system. Don’t feel bad or awkward about having some resources that others don’t have, but you can also slow down and share a little.
Treat other people how you would want to be treated if roles reversed. Simple as that.
Again, I don’t mean to make anyone feel bad for not giving. I also don’t mean to elevate myself in the least, I’m not any better than you, I’m just trying to help people see the humanity in others regardless of money.
If I can spare it, I share it. I used to be homeless myself and would never have gotten out of that without help. It seems to me I have an obligation to pass that on.
20s? Someone recently told me “my dad taught me to always carry some change with me, other people need it more than me” and now I’m doing it too. There really isn’t any other way to act if you pride yourself on your humanity, anything else is rationalizing selfishness. And I often hear the “they’re just gonna use it for booze/drugs!!!” line as if it meant anything. Sure, they might, but even if you’re a strict teetotaler (and if you’re in any Western country odds are you’re not, lol), what else would they do? Have you ever slept on a cold floor while hungry? People kill themselves/complain about life and they have beds, meals, narcotics and internet connections, nvm all sorts of legal drugs to help them cope with everything (something like 15 percent of women in the US are on antidepressants, according to the CDC…). Life is hard sometimes, perhaps they also need to disconnect a bit, idk.
Give when you can, dont rationalize it when you can’t. We’re all collectively responsible for the playground God made for us and everything/one in it, but you’re also just one man/woman. Maybe they’ll turn their lives around, maybe your grain of sand helped them reach that point.
thanks for bringing some kindness to this thread. i’ve been meaning to go to the bank to get a bunch of fivers to hand out.
Definitely do it. It is a great feeling and helps them. Don’t let the fear of being scammed prevent you from helping people.
Panhandling is a numbers game - both parties know this and it’s okay to say no.
If I were to go back to walking into work and dealing with it daily then I’d have my headphones on and would be ignoring.
I’ve struggled with this like you for years. My empathy fights with my practicality.
I usually carry some cash and if I have small bills I may give a buck or two to someone. This is more and more rare for me because it’s hard to know who really needs it.
More often, I usually just smile and look them in the eye to acknowledge their humanity. If they ask I just say I’m sorry I don’t have cash.
When I was driving through an area frequently that had a large amount of homeless I’d pack a few extra sandwiches, granola bars and bottles of water to give out. I also kept gallon bags and a large bag of dog food for those who had dogs. I never once had someone turn down food and ask for money instead.
Guess it depends on your city. In my city I have literally seen a homeless person throw food back at the person who gave it to them and scream “I ASKED FOR A DOLLAR, BITCH!”
Yeah you gotta mostly ignore the homeless where I’m at. Heavy meth, fentanyl area. Street violence is not uncommon. Just keep it moving and don’t loiter too long if you know what’s good lol
same here,
I’ve seen people get angry when instead of giving money they offered to buy food.
Called the bluff about needing the money to eat, I guess.
You sure this isn’t a scene in scary movie?
LMAO it literally is
Word for word lol
it was actually from ISAIP, when dee gave a sandwich to a homeless person, and the person threw back to her, give a dollar you bitch.
Probably is, but it also happened in my city. My city’s gone to meth in a real bad way.
Fair enough
If possible, do not give food unless it is sealed. I prefer to give out canned food with a pull tab or sealed items like protein bars and granola bars. Many unhoused people throw away open items like sandwiches given to them by random people for their own safety, and I can’t blame them
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“I’m, uh, gluten intolerant. And I don’t eat processed foods.”
Literally not even once. But keep strawmanning the homeless to make yourself feel better
I had a homeless guy come up and give me a whole story about how he almost died of low blood sugar that morning. I’m a caregiver for a diabetic person, so I gave him a whole sealed package of emergency glucose tabs.
He looked it over and gave it back, said the only thing that helped his blood sugar was a certain flavor of Rockstar energy drink. He gave me a list and asked me to go buy things. It was in a Safeway parking lot, so tried to get what he asked.
They didn’t have his flavor of rockstars and they didn’t have organic raspberries, so I got conventional and a different flavor. He gave them back to me. I asked if he could give them away himself, he said it would be too much hassle.
He still asks me for stuff when I go to that Safeway, it’s his hang out. The first time after that I said “no, you were kind of a dick last time.” Now I just ignore him. I feel bad.
But, I have a hard rule for myself that if I’m going into a restaurant and someone asks me to get them some food, I get it for them. It’s often hard for them to even tell me what they want beyond “Just anything!”
Uh…I was just playing off of your last sentence, where you brought up the idea that someone could turn down food. I was imagining a scenario where someone would do that.
You can get down off your high horse if you’d like.
Take it easy, Jesus! 😁
At home: Nothing. Genuine homelessness isn’t really a problem. There’s this joke that we have a government programme called “winter” that takes care of this. Truth is, there are actual government programmes in place that takes care of this as well - It is written in law that anyone who cannot afford a place to stay, as well as basic necessities will have this covered.
Abroad: When not in what causes fox news talking heads to clutch their pearls over socialist hellscape societies (Norway), I’m a lot more giving. Plus, I usually carry some currency that I will no longer need once I leave. I especially remember the happy outcry of a beggar I visited in this developing country that I happened to walk past on my way to pick up some supplies the last day before heading for home. Repeated “Bless you!”-s once he realized that the stack of leftover cash included quite a few 20$ bills.
In short, he obviously needed them more than I, so I gave what I could.
I’ve lived in Norway for 5 years now. The only people I see asking for money are well known to locals, and I suspect that the majority of them weren’t born here either and have been forced to do this by someone else, who is perhaps holding their passports? Idk, it’s almost all women or disabled men that… don’t look Norwegian, and they all hive signs with Vipps numbers (cashapp/venmo for those not familiar). There is also one Norwegian guy in town who is always hustling people and tourists with the same story about how he just needs money for the train ride to Voss, so he can go to rehab there. I came here from San Francisco so it was a huge culture shock to see so few down on their luck, and even then, largely keeping out of your face. I don’t feel threatened, I just feel badly for them.
Yeah, there was this trend starting 15-20ish years ago where people from Eastern Europe came here to beg. Apparently it’s profitable to travel all the way to set up shop. I never give these people anything. If they truly were so down on their luck as they claim to be, they probably would not be able to invest the necessary resources into traveling across the continent to begin with.
Norwegians saw this:
And said “What if we weren’t stupid and used it for something good”
In the northeastern U.S. I’ve mostly learned to acknowledge them, don’t give anything, and move on with my life.
Not sure if it’s bad luck or what, but nearly every time I’ve tried to be nice and offer them something it always backfires. I’ll be passing by with some food and they’ll ask me for some, I give them some and then they tell me it wasn’t enough and to give them all the food I was carrying. Like WTF?
Another time I actually had some change on me so I gave him some and he said it wasn’t enough money and started following me, wanted me to go to an ATM so I can take out more money for him. I was forced to tell him to stop following me or I’d have to call the cops.
I have even more stories like that… going through those motions repeatedly it feels like the homeless have taught me not to give to the homeless. But hopefully your experiences have better outcomes.
I’m in the northeast, I nod, apologize for having no cash and ignore them past that. I donate to the local food pantry, I know they’re gonna buy drugs or alcohol with any money I give them face to face. I dated a girl that was homeless in NYC for a year, she spent every dollar she got on heroin. She knew where to get free food and clothes. She made about 50 to 100 dollars a day panhandling.
I was drunk and in a good mood and a guy asked for $10 to take the bus or something, so I handed him a $20 and said I hope he had a nice evening. Should have been the end of it, right? Nope. “Oh man, if you have $20 more the Lord will bless you and I can get a bus pass and eat. My sister is dying and I need to visit her often and I’m on the streets right now.” Stuff like that for like 3 blocks of following me.
Bro… I. Don’t. Believe. You. Like, literally, it’s probably all bullshit and I knew the first $20 was going to buy booze or drugs. Don’t fucking try to shake me down for more.
Dude, same happened to me. One guy threw the box of food he asked me to give him in a bush because he didn’t like Italian. Another told me to go to an atm for him. The last time I gave someone money they had me absolutely convinced that they needed $10 for the bus ride home. Before I even put my wallet away he was saying the same thing to the next guy.
Decided to stop that and donate to charity instead, even though money was tight. After my $20 donation they flooded my mailbox asking for more donations. They even sent me $5 with the message “This $5 could save a life!” So sick of being made into a fool for wanting to help.
If I were convinced a person truly needed help I could provide, I would straight up be willing to give them at least $1000. I simply don’t trust the pleas any more. Have to keep it limited to chance encounters with everyday people.
If you can afford it, you can ask if you can buy them a coffee and inexpensive meal. Remember declinations of specific food items doesn’t mean they’re conning. Maybe they’re allergic or can’t eat/drink particular things for reasons.
I feed them, get them any medical care they need and help them get into section 8 housing.
And then they introduce me to their friends to do the same for them.
Or they were just trying to play on people’s sympathy for money and avoid me like the plague.
Are you sure you do all those things while you’re trying to get from point A to B like the OP, or you’re carving out separate time to go do those things? Seems like you couldn’t accomplish anything else downtown if you’re feeding and arranging medical care and housing for every panhandler you come across.
Not many panhandlers are along my routes. Mostly because I have been doing it for years.
If 1 in a 1000 people consistently did so, then we might finally get the homeless problem solved. (Assuming that your local community has a housing the homeless policy rather than a beating up the poor policy like most places)
I donate to a charity that I know will help (they’ve helped family members in the past), Shelter, but I genuinely say to those who ask me around my town that I have no change
I used to give fairly often, but after handing one of the more famous homeless folks in my community a 5 spit and him immediately saying “thanks man, I’m going to go buy a beer with this” I took a hard think and realized I don’t want to enable that lifestyle. I mean a beer is fine every once in a while, but I’d rather see the guy have a safe environment where he can drink it.
So now instead I donate to our local hospitality house every time someone asks me for some change.
I used to give them a cigarette. I quit though.
Keep an amount of change on you that you won’t miss, it doesn’t have to be 20s or even 1s. Even if it’s just 20 or 30 cents, it will be appreciated. And if it’s not, that person either has some serious mental health issues that are making them lash out (most likely) or they’re scamming (unlikely but not impossible). You’re not going to look like the asshole in that situation if you just walk away.
simple answer: if I have any I can afford to give, I give it. Sometimes I have not had any and in various cases taken someone out for a meal or given them a meal from my plate. but mostly just money.
My standard is to say something like “I don’t have any cash to share, good luck to you though.” I work in homeless services and know a ton of folks who survive on panhandling. In my area, people have no problem finding food, there are a ton of social service orgs and churches that provide food daily.
The following is not a judgment and is a generalization that is far from universal. This is just a description of what I commonly observe. The unfortunate reality is that much of the money people get from panhandling goes to purchasing cigarettes, alcohol, meth, K2, crack, and/or fentanyl. For this reason I avoid giving people money directly.
You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone, and if you feel bad for not giving someone money because you feel the inequality, consider donating your time or money to organizations in your area that are doing the work to help people gain employment or housing, meet their basic needs, or treat their physical or mental health needs.
