Context: We’re in a bit of a heat wave and my daughter loves to cool down by splashing in water. Today was no different.
Once she was done, I say to her “Let’s get you out of that wet dress. I imagine it must be uncomfortable. I’ve never actually worn a wet dress before”.
Before I can follow that up with “I’ve worn wet clothes before, and that’s not the nicest”, my wife jumps in and claims that me saying I’ve never worn a wet dress is sexist.
Is it?
In general, I don’t think it’s right to lie down flat whenever someone accuses you of saying something wrong, just because they think it was wrong.
It should be pretty fair to respond with a simple “why is that sexist? I think wet clothes are uncomfortable, so I assumed others did as well.”
It’s not about lying down, it’s about de-escalating.
That can be a touchy subject, so a little bit of humility helps prevent hurt feelings.
You don’t have to admit fault to de-escalate. You can just say “I’m feeling confused and a bit hurt right now. I’d like to revisit this when I am not feeling this way.”
To add to that, I know that if I just came out and said exactly “why is that sexist?” it probably would sound like I’m copping an attitude. So I think/agree that it’d be safer to approach it more delicately.