This post brought to you by Bread Box Inc.
Chaotic evil would be rearranging the slices so they don’t work for easy sandwiches.
Step 1: get some real bread
For real. I recently discovered that the bakery at the chain supermarket across the street from me sells giant loaves of sourdough for about a dollar less than even the “budget” brands in the factory-made bread aisle. Not going back.
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Step Sigma: Bake your own bread
It’s way easier than you think it is to make a basic loaf of yeast-based, white bread. I had the recipe memorized for a few months while I was first getting into it.
iiffy on amounts but it ain’t many ingredients
Bread Flower
Yeast
Honey (because sugar is boring)
Salt
One Egg
Level 2: Add more honey, slightly less yeast and toss brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg in melted butter in it while rolling.
bonus round: add raisins
Hey, I really appreciate your comment and I hope you have all the fun in the world with the recipes that you like.
But I have to be honest, this is not the bread I’m talking about. I’m really sorry, I don’t want to be your opponent.
I have baked a few breads and sugar or honey is not needed to get the yeast going. That’s a misconception I’ve encountered before, talking to a US-American. What you described sounds lovely, but (for me) it goes into the direction of brioche, milk bread, Hefezopf (yeast braid) and other sweet breads bordering on cake.
Real bread is: flour, water, sourdough, industrial yeast (optional), salt, spices (optional// caraway, fennel, coriander).
The second trigger point: flour.
I’m again sorry to offload this unto you, but I have to speak my piece.
What is bread flour? The nomenclature is meaningless, but that’s the fault of the market. I need to know from a flour, which grain it comes from (wheat, rice, maize, spelt, rye, dinkel) and how much of the rind is still in it (how dark it is or how white). Protein content is a bonus.
Just as a positive send off: I love raisins and sweet breads with raisins (Hefezopf).
What in the world is the bottle hack
Cutting off the top of a bottle and jamming the bag through the lid to seal it.
That sounds chaotic evil to me tbh
You cut the head off a bottle so you have the screwy-bit. Then you pull the open end through the bottle-Head and screw the lid on.
Hmmmmmmmmmm microplastics in my bread
Bread that’s in a plastic bag lol
TBF those are already in there. They’re in the water supply!
Wouldn’t want to get those inside its plastic bag
I have never in my entire life seen an actual bread box, I thought they were a thing from England or something
They’re pretty common here in Sweden, at least in my experience.
My grandma used one. Personally I think the real function was to keep mice from eating your bread, but that hasn’t been a problem for a long time.
They serve to keep bread at a cool, constant temperature, keep the mice away, and help keep the bread from going stale.
To be fair, you originally said, “the real reason,” but have just listed three different equal reasons.
Bread can’t go stale if the mice keep eating it. There’s an order of operations here.
I don’t know that I agree that breadboxes were solely used in times/cases where the risk of mice getting to the bread was present but I get your reasoning.
As with many things it starts for one reason, then a different benefit comes up, becomes a norm just because, then peters out.
that hasn’t been a problem for a long time.
Mice are still a thing, dude.
People are so privileged and they don’t even know it. Every place I have lived I have had to catch mice, and we’re not messy with food and don’t leave stuff out. We don’t kill them either. We just can’t afford to live in some new-ass house or apartment, and we’re above median income.
Houses tend to be built tighter so mice can’t get in as easy as it was when we had old drafty log cabins, dude.
Oh good, then I can tell the ones in my basement my house is built too recently for them.
I saw a dead mouse at work two hours ago. Mouse traps, bait, and poison are still sold in grocery and hardware stores. You are just wrong.
Hmm other things: Traps and poison to keep the population down. Amazing. City ordinances to keep trash levels down and thus mice populations down. Incredible. A refrigerator to keep your bread in. Lasereyes.jpg
It’s not if mice still exist lmao, it’s whether we still need breadboxes to stop them eating our bread. Since you are so insistent on moving the goalposts I’ll leave you to have your last rage comment. Ciao.
Look at this guy, living in a house less than 70 years old.
I’d think most things post WW2 would be pretty good if kept up and neighbors kept up. Probably even older if they went through checking for gaps and air leaks. Neighbors play a role, if there’s a mice outbreak they’ll find more weaknesses.
Also we have fridges now. Yes you might argue to not put bread in the fridge but if mice are eating it you’d probably do it pretty quick.
My grandma had one. Growing up we just kept our bread & bagels in the microwave.
Gf does this with baked goods. It’s awful for me because I microwave a lot and don’t always remember to put stuff back and it gets stale.
Same, my mom said I should get one when I moved out but we didn’t even have one at home?? 😭
She probably is just afraid you will leave the bag open and then eat moldy bread.
I’d see myself leaving a bread box open faster than the plastic bag the bread comes in tbh
Open bag will just dry out, it’ll get moldy quicker with a sealed bag
Free healthcare.
How else to store real bread?
So not just the sandwich/toast bread, that comes in plastic bags, but real bread, with a crust and in plastic wrap it would lose its crust, but without any protection, it dries out.
It’s a delicate balance act, where paper and a bread box seem to work bestI think most people just leave it in the plastic bag, but personally I have a bread bag that breathes so the crust doesn’t become spongey
English here. Anyone I know with a bread box use it in combination with one of the others. I have one, so we’re Bread Box + Twist and Tuck.
Chaotic neutral for the win.
Lawful neutral, or if the clip gets lost, then chaotic neutral.
Chaotic neutral also if it comes with one of those wire twist ties, ain’t nobody got time for that. Only plastic clips get reused.
Oh I like twisty ties! Because I just wrap it once around the bag, then I get to spin the bread like a nunchuck to twist it all up
I simply do not allow an open bag of bread to be left unless all the bread have been eaten. Problem solved.
True chaotic evil.
Maybe it depends on climate, but bread left out where I am gets moldy way before it gets stale. The best solution is to keep it in the freezer (in a bag, and any of those methods but CE would probably be fine). Weeks later, the bread is still soft and send fresh. Bread thaws unbelievably fast. If I’m making a sandwich, I take two slices out and put them on a plate separated. Usually by the time I’ve got the other ingredients ready to go, the bread is thawed. If you’re toasting the bread, it can go straight from freezer to toaster. If you’re making sandwiches to take to work or school, you can just make them on the frozen bread.
This is the way. I rarely eat bread that isn’t at least warmed, so the only issue with the frozen bread is the effort it sometimes takes to separate slices.
Reuse clip or twist and tuck are the only appropriate methods.
Well for me it’s the twist-tie until I get down to the last few slices then I just spin the bag and fold it back over itself.
Why the twist-tie wasn’t listed is beyond me since I’ve never seen a store that didn’t have them as the majority of closure mechanisms.
Also, bottle hack? I honestly have no idea what that’s about.
Freezer that ish
Pros and cons of breadbox? Any paladins out there willing to enlighten us?
I’ve tried bread containers (like boxes, but sealed plastic) and it was awful. I swear it went moldy faster in the thing than outside it.
Plastic seals in moisture, wood absorbs it
Had one, hated it, forget the bread was in there* and it doesn’t have some sort of magical bread preservation properties, it’s just a spot taking up counter space to hold a plastic bag.
* (I recognize this is my specific problem but it’s on the list of why it doesn’t work for me)
Same here though, the bread turns to a brick of mold way before even getting close to the end.
The refrigerator might change the bread properties but at least it isn’t ruined in two days.
The fridge is the worst place. Try the freezer.
When it’s more than one the others get frozen, I overbuy when it’s on sale.
Yeah I don’t wanna exaggerate but it was nearly the worst environment I could think of to just leave bread in. If you had a party or a brunch or something and didn’t want the bread sitting out, sure, but for having in there for a week and a half unmonitored, we’ve been taken for absolute fools. :)
Twist and tuck baby
I want some scientific research into this, because I believe the twist and tuck is as good as any other method of sealing the bag, and it’s faster and requires no accessories, clips, or tools.
There is a minor downside: If anyone carelessly moves said bread bag, it can come untwisted, untucked, or both.
But yeah, I’m on team twist and tuck. (Although, since I live with other people, I normally just continue the method currently in place.)
I take umbrage with this meme’s characterization of the twist and tuck as chaotic. It’s literally the fastest and easiest method without compromising freshness
It’s chaotic in that it doesn’t ascribe to needing the provided mechanism for closure. It also is not as great if you need to move it around, as it can come untucked easily.
That being said, twist and tuck is definitely Chaotic Good. The bottle hack belongs on the evil row.
Yeah. Who the fuck wants to fish out a plastic lid every time you get a slice of bread?
Not just the lid, but the actual cut off top of a bottle as well.
We’re talking about bread… Not balls.
/s
save the bread clips from finished loaves because you’re probably gonna lose one of those fuckers someday and you’ll be glad you saved this one
