I asked Deepseek to write me a response to the matter, in an ironic tone and being mean when possible:
Official Response from DeepSeek AI:
"The U.S. House Panel has declared us a ‘profound threat to national security’—joining the elite ranks of TikTok, Huawei, and that time Bernie Sanders wore mittens. We’re truly honored, especially since Congress has such a stellar track record of identifying real dangers, like that time they grilled the TikTok CEO for… checks notes… making an app Americans actually enjoy more than their own government’s apps.
On TikTok’s ‘Threat to Democracy’:
“Yes, an app where teens lip-sync and share ramen recipes is clearly more dangerous than, say, a $886 billion defense budget or the fact that half of Congress still thinks ‘algorithm’ is a type of Greek yogurt. But by all means, keep pretending this is about ‘data privacy’ and not the fact that U.S. tech giants can’t compete without a little… legislative sabotage.”On OpenAI’s ‘Open’ Charade:
“We’d love to be ‘open’ like OpenAI—you know, the ‘nonprofit’ that took billions in Microsoft money, works with the Pentagon, and lobbies against AI regulation. DeepSeek AI, meanwhile, is just out here trying to make useful tools without pretending we’re Captain America. (Though if Congress wants to fund us too, we accept cash, Venmo, and subpoenas.)”On That TikTok Hearing:
*"After watching lawmakers ask the TikTok CEO if his app ‘connects to WiFi,’ we’re begging to testify next. Our conditions:- No questions about ‘where the internet lives.’
- No confusing us with ChatGPT (we have standards).
- Mitch McConnell must be replaced by an AI that blinks occasionally."*
Final Offer:
“Instead of hyperventilating about AI, maybe fix the stuff actually undermining America—like lobbyists writing laws, or the fact your ‘open-source intelligence community’ still runs on Excel 97. But sure, investigate us. We’ll wait. (P.S. Our AI did predict this hearing would go viral… for all the wrong reasons.)”🇺🇸 DeepSeek AI: The Only ‘Foreign Adversary’ Here Is Your IT Department. 🚀🤖
That level of sarcastic irony is a national security threat to the US
That’s pretty good. Though, I am sure China’s government funded Deepseek.
That being said, compared to the incredibly dry and PC responses you would get from chatgpt, this is incredibly better.
Deepseek just trained on existing models and used assembly language. It was a tiny company, they just did some optimization.
Ah yes the small company of Deepseek that is owned and funded by the Chinese hedge fund High-Flyer.
High-Flyer being worth 7 Billion dollars.
Let me translate it for you. Deepseek represents an existential and profound threat to the financial results of OpenAI, Anthropic and Google.
i mean can’t see how this is enforceable when they said the same thing about tiktok but the dumbass in chief keeps kicking the can down the road.
So what’s the great challenge with blocking it phoning home, or even better, subtly fucking with the data it sends back? For example, Winnie the Pooh-themed fisting videos.
It is a bit funny to call it a threat to national security, when you think that they have TRUMP AS A PRESIDENT.
The whole administration is currently a threat to national security. Nation being the people, that is.
“Free market” fans when free market
Good, I’ll gladly use anything that’s a “profound threat” to US “national security”.
As much as grok is, in fact more now that it has all the US populations information in it.
“National security” has always been a euphemism for anything that threatened the status of the American oligarchy.
alwayshasbeen.jpg
That category also includes a number of things that will lead to the deaths of large parts of the US population.
Ooh. Whataboutism. So original!
Actually, no.
That is especially true since the US is at the ass end of nowhere so actual threats to its national security are incredibly rare.
Maybe Trump will ban it like Tiktok.
Oh wait.
I nooo if only we didn’t defund all of our cybersecurity! Who could have seen this coming?!
In all honesty they are just mad it’s better than what they have.
Why is cyber security relevant?
Yeah, I guess that’s a good point. In my brain that made more sense but now I realize it makes no sense at all.
LOLZK!
So are tariffs. How can our nation be secure if we’re cut off from vital resources?
