It’s a good thing that market is so saturated that there’d always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you’re some sort of MMO mouse person.
That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don’t need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).
That’s why they’ll make it so Windows requires your mouse to have official Microsoft drivers for compatibility.
Hahaha, Windows, lol.
Oh god oh no I used my last click now I can’t select a plan
Yes you can! Only $0.10 per additional click!
And how will I click that? Oh, it’s automatic! For our convenience!
“remind me later” works only if you double click it.
What will Premium Plus get for me?
I’d just get a mouse that doesn’t have this bullshit before paying for this. I’ll buy used if needed. I’m not subscribing to a fucking mouse.
move those decimals over one.
Add a free tier and base it around gacha mechanics.
Every now and then there’d be a duck hunt bird flying over your windows and it would stop turning only if clicked. This is accumulative, meaning you being AFK gives you two, three ducks flying over your desktop, up to the arbitrary limit of 255.
Ah yes and once you’ve reached max duck you get a 90 second ad for essential oils or you’re free to click all the ducks.
10000 clicks a month? Man I might do that in a day or 2
Looks like someone is getting the unlimited plan!
I can navigate with keyboard shortcuts.
I’m sorry, you are out of keyboard clicks.
I’ll just use my graphics tablet.
I’m sorry, you’re out of graphics.
Connect with rdp with my laptop with a touchscreen
You’re out of RDPs
I can cry.
Subscribe to tears monthly for more tears you’ve reached your tears limit for this month.
They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help…
Standard plan:
- 2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)
Premium plan:
- 3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000)
- Ad Free!
Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo)
- Mouse acceleration toggle
- 1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each)
- Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo)
- AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable)
- Cloud backup*
*Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.
Edit: formatting
No, you can’t disable AI, because “people want that” ™
At least this provider gives unlimited free scrolling!
Thanks Satan
This hurts to read.
And it will anti cheat a little on the cheap tier when you play games.
$10 for unlimited scrolling!
How long could a mouse take to reboot, Michael? An hour?
Living in 2024, I’m not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that’s taxes!
It’s only partially a joke. I can’t remember who but some company was bragging about their subscription based mouse they had in the works.
idk I’ve been thinking about getting the standard plan. 10k clicks isn’t much, but If i quit Leauge, then I think i can get by. And I can’t stand the ad supported basic tier anymore. I can’t take one more ad for that crypto exchange
It is often fun choosing to read “clicks” as “dicks” due to how similar they look. Imagin’ you getting 10,000’s of dicks via LoL every month.
10,000 dicks a month from lol is rookie numbers, honestly.
In a row??
Laughs hysterically in XMonad
This is why you do what I do and use a trackball.
I’ve had mine since 2004. I’ve replaced the cord 3 times, and designed a 3D printed replacement scroll wheel for it. It’s still going strong.
That’s some dedication. Respect
I want to know what priority support looks like for a mouse.
Like what questions would you ask? How would they troubleshoot before sending you to tier 3 support?
the Logitech mouse can change loadouts depending on the game you’re playing but it doesn’t work for all games (really annoying) so that would be my guess
Enhanced clicks use AI to help predict where you want to move the mouse and pre-clicks it, saving some time and effort .
The elite plan allows game cheats in selected games developed by trusted partners .
Not at all responsible for wrong clicks.
Support helps when there is a noticeable pattern of wrong clicks and refers you to training
is Logitech known for this? Not this exactly, I get that it’s a meme, but enshitification in general? I have a Logitech mouse and haven’t experienced anything that’s particularly money hungry other than the initial pricing and I think a twitch popup or something stupid
Logitech “floated” the idea of subscription mouses (aka: tried to see how bad the market resistance would be). They want to do it so bad.
the mere process of presenting such an idea to the internet was enough to make me never buy logi-junk again
It’s OK you’re not missing anything, the last three Logitech mice I had died to switch failure in like 6 months so they’re not worth buying anyway
Which is sad. I liked the hardware I’ve had from them, but I haven’t bought new in a few years. The mouse has treated me much better than Razers I’ve had over the years. Sad that their quality has (predictably) started circling the drain as well.
Also, what mouse or brand do you recommend buying instead?
I like their hardware too, I still have an ancient pair of g200 headphones with mic that still work great. I use it regularly. But their mice peripherals have fallen tf off.
Like Valmond recommend I went to a Roccat mouse - they’re a less well known Japanese brand. I’ve had mine for over two and a half years and it’s been amazing.
I just love the roccat kone aimo because I have lumberjack hands and every other mouse is just too small. Sadly their left click gets used quite rapidly, nothing crazy IMO but it’s a shame tossing an expensive mouse just for that (and losing the click or double clicking drives you crazy quickly, ha ha!) so I bought some microswitches from aliexpress and swapped them out in both of my mice. Fiddly but works perfectly now!
Yeah it irritates me that the sensors always go so soon. You’d think the tech would advance past this, but it’s been a complaint for years at this point.
Got my little pouch of microswitches for the forseable future :-)
For what I found, it’s like they all use the same switches too 🤷🏼♀️
That was gonna be my rec too. I bought a Kone and it’s been an amazing mouse for me.
Yeah this was a thing until we “learned” that it was was just a big miss understanding…that Miss was big. To my understanding, they leaked something said during a management meeting where they say it was a hilarious joke… But we all agree it wasn’t.
