Naturally, it’s Ankylosaurus. Just look at this armoured tactical turtle and tell me you do not love this silly little guy!
Just wanting to eat his plants. Wanna gnaw on him? Tough luck, it hurts and you cannot crack that shell. Also, he will fucking break your kneecaps with his built-in hammer while you’re bothering him.
Spirit animal.
Well, it wasn’t… but it’s interesting you know of such a book. Coincidence?
It was passed to me as all internet traditions come and now I’m passing it to you. It’s actually a pretty good read, easily the most absurd thing I’ve experienced in a book.