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Sums up every Node project I’ve had the displeasure of looking at. The lock file being the only thing holding the twisted web of versions keeping that franken-app running between a minefield of incompatibilities and buggy hacks.
Back then when I used to have elitist techbro brain-rot, I used to feel the same. Now that I’ve become very pro-labor, I think that this guy is based.
*laughs in wordpress*ffs, every time someone from a community group asks me “Can you have a quick look at our basic website, we just need to change <reallySimpleThing>”, and I’m like “sure, i used to do web development, let’s have a look […] FFFFFFUUUUUC…”
This guy is me. Fuck your job. Take all you can, give nothing back.
So… How are things at work?
Super relaxed, that comes with the territory of not giving a fuck. Also I make good money.
Lol, “fire me if you dare, then it’s your problem”
💯
#I’m going to talk to HR! I’m going to have you fired!
Me:
That’s me
My previous work used two mission-critical software for continuous operation.
One was some guy’s university project written in Object Pascal and PHP and largely untouched since 2006. I tried offering fixes (I also knew Pascal), but I was rejected every time because the downtime caused by software issues was not bad enough to risk the downtime caused by the update.
The other was (I shit you not) an Excel spreadsheet with 15000 lines and 500 columns. I tried making a copy and cleaning it up, but Excel couldn’t handle the amount of data and ran out of memory.
Oh yeah, I remember the good ol’ “Our whole business Logic is within this 30 tables spread sheet, that only one person can read, and don’t you dare restarting that computer” times.
One person. Sitting in front of three monitors. In front of a spreadsheet that maxed out every resource of that computer. It was glorious.
It sounds glorious!
don’t you dare restarting that computer
We had two desktop PCs on the factory floor doing server stuff for a lot of assembly machines. We couldn’t move them to proper hardware or virtualize them because the GUI and the server were built as one monolithic application (I still don’t trust any Japanese company’s developers as a result), so one computer was made the primary server for one half of the factory and the fallback for the other half, and vice versa, to solve the reliability issues stemming from the software’s dogshit design.
What it couldn’t solve was Windows’ dogshit design. One early Monday morning, when we switched on the factory, Windows decided to force-update itself, then failed and bricked both computers. We spent half the shift with our thumbs up our asses periodically checking if tech support bothered to show up yet.
I have a lot of questions for whoever set that up in the first place, first and foremost of which is: why in the everlasting fuck was that computer ever attached to the internet? At most it should be allowed internal network access only.
Some required network services were located off-site. It could’ve been done in a secure way, but don’t expect such considerations from the company described above. It’s still better than the many XP and Win2000 production machines with the same internet access.
I can’t say a lot because of confidentiality, but if you had seen the factory around the time I quit, having a Win10 computer with internet access would’ve been the least of your concerns. If we had OSHA here, that building would’ve kept them busy for a week.
I absolutely cannot stand this kind of logic.
“We make a shit ton of money on this very critical piece of software!”
“Then let me fix it!”
“NO! It’s making us money NOW! It only stops making us money when it’s broken. At which point then we fix it.”
“But that might be hours. We can minimize downtime if we plan properly.”
"But it’s making us money NOW!1!1!”
I shit you not I have had various versions of this conversation throughout my career, across industries, across disciplines.
True zen is achieved when you realize it’s not your problem. Even better when the thing eventually breaks and you can be smug about it.
Even better when the thing eventually breaks
You mean when it finally does become your problem?
If it’s going to be your problem no matter what, start making offline backups of your email account, and print out the email conversation where the bossmang rejected the fix. Make sure your HR rep is present on every meeting,
evenespecially if it makes the people uncomfortable.(this assumes that you live in a place where employee protection laws exist, i.e. it might not work in America)
It’s your problem when they can’t make payroll because of it. And it’s your problem when they ultimately blame you for not having the solution ready to implement.
The first has happened to me once.
The second more times than I can count.
- Make PR ready to merge.
- Mark as
Draftand write in the description that management says this should not be merged until the site breaks. - Site breaks.
- They blame you for not having a solution ready.
- 😎 👈 You.
This is not how the real world works
Be the change you want to see ✨🌈
And while you’re busy making this PR to fix a problem that you haven’t been authorized on, you’re falling behind on current tickets.
The only way to realistically make this happen at most companies is if you’re doing work for your company on off time, and, generally speaking, never ever do that for any reason unless you’re being paid for on-call.
Yeah my joke was kind of partly inspired by the drawthefuckingowl meme. Step 1 would be the owl lol.
I’m not in the industry anymore, but every time I raised an issue to the boss that got ignored, I used to like to keep a little folder where I’d print the emails or just take notes about the issue, the proposed fix, and when and why it got rejected.
Then, 8 months later when everything is on fire, I could point at the date February 12, where at 3:40 PM I raised this specific issue that got ignored.
It never benefitted me, not once, in fact I sincerely think my boss at the time thought I was a smug little prick. Which was fair, I was one. But credit where it’s due, every time I brought the folder back out, he’d get a look like he just swallowed a mug full of cold piss and tell me I was right. That’s all I really wanted out of that folder anyway.
a smug little prick
lmao
a mug full of cold piss
worth it
Reminds me of the KSP2 fiasco. Management insisting on reusing the engine from the old game, and firing all the senior devs who could have told them there was no possibility of getting the features they’d announced to work without rewriting the engine from scratch.
It’s so sad what happened with KSP2, we were all so excited at the start. I’m glad I didn’t buy it though
I rewatched the KSP2 announcement trailer recently. It’s still great, but the song definitely feels more like a funeral dirge now.
I bought it, learned that there was no career mode and no plan to add one, and refunded it
you … liked career mode in ksp1? respect lmao
Do people not? I love the challenge of designing efficient craft that can complete multiple missions at once!
deleted by creator
Sure they didn’t plan to add one? I was devastated when they didn’t even have science at first, and of course all the bugs.
Slay the Kraken? More like return of the Kraken.
The roadmap seemed good, but it was too good to be true. Im still excited for multiplayer, but it won’t happen
It can’t be repeated enough: never pre-order a game
you mean early access? because all the early access games I’ve gotten are really good
maybe just don’t buy corporate games lmao
They also wouldn’t allow the new devs to talk to the old devs, so they had to figure out the old codebase for themselves.
Dude, I’m so bad at arguing in zoom so the guys that push for that shit get their way. Fml.
Have you considered you’re just bad at arguing in general and it’s not the medium?
Difficult to punch coworkers in their face in zoom
Sure, but refactoring things constantly leads to bugs too. Once it works you should stop rewriting code. The SW team at my job didn’t get the memo.
Refactoring is often necessary to ensure new features can be continuously added with ease.
Yes, and you do it at the point you need to work on that feature. The business pay for it when they want the change.
You do not pay for the refactor with your time, if the company won’t pay to fix their code. Just make it clear the risks and how bad it could be if you carry on with duct tape fixes.
You have to be strong and firm and not agree to hacks. You need to work with your team to ensure you’re on the same page rather than getting undermined by cowboy dev claiming he can do the feature in 2 days when it needs 2 weeks to do the necessary work.
Sure, refactoring is sometimes necessary. But refactoring also introduces new bugs often. Our code base is constantly being refactoring, and it’s not more reliable, stuff is constantly breaking.
Refactoring for the sake of refactoring is rarely a good thing. It should be done with a clear purpose in mind.
Tell me that you don’t have a test suite without telling you don’t have a test suite
Why are programmers so arrogant? They do have unit tests, and a dedicated test team. Refactoring can and does introduce bugs. It’s a fact.
Frankly, if your test suite isn’t catching 95% or more of the bugs, there’s a problem with the test suite and if uat aren’t catching 95% or more of the remainder, there’s a problem with uat
How solid is the unit test coverage? What about regression tests? If you get new bugs creeping in all the time, your bug-catchers aren’t doing their job
Yeah, I’ve said that before. I don’t think they have enough regression tests, and unit tests.
I did a sting writing tests for a team that previously had none. Fun times, the things that were uncovered that day…
Company’s project is not your project. Don’t get too attached.
Words of wisdom.
I have a coworker who thinks I’m this guy cuz it’s apparently absurd for us to add the 5 most popular dependencies on the planet to our environment and I’m sentencing us to the doom of dependency hell.
“Every dependency is an asset. Every dependency is a liability.”
Take the passive-aggressive nerd approach:
-
Start a niche online movement that only cares about one aspect of computing and convinces people all their problems are caused by your pet peeve
-
let the company dig its grave
-
create a FOSS alternative
-
sell a premium version for businesses (it includes phone support and management-friendly marketing matetials)
-
congrats, you are now the de facto standard software in your field
-
Well of course I know him, he is me… I haven’t found a job yet but this post pretty much sums a lot my personal projects.
Personal projects = it’ll work until it doesn’t
Professional projects = I’m hiding in the MDF hoping no one finds me
So you use SharePoint as well? Hahaha
