as said previously I’m a nurse, which means the overwhelming majority of employees are women. Gossiping, being unauthentic, cattiness and passive aggressiveness is a daily occurrence.

My current unit: there are 2 men that seem to be completely stoic (I don’t know what word would describe them better): they ignore drama and jabs, even if directed at them, they are punctual with their pauses, I mean really, 30 minutes and that’s it, and can ignore when other coworkers lazy around, even if it means they have to be the ones doing most of the work, extra work they don’t receive any extra money or recognition for.

I am writing in awe, because as much as I’d like to be this thick skinned, I am not. The feeling of being treated unfairly rubs me the wrong way really fast. My strategy so far has been to lazy around so much as my direct coworkers, even if they’re part of an established group at the ward I don’t belong to. They’re the ones supposed to be showing me around and teach me. If they don’t work, why should I?

I believe this is a trait of mine, something nearly impossible to change, it would make more sense to change the setting than trying to change me, to change jobs. I don’t know how to play this game where I am, in a workplace where most employees are women.

But my question remains to all of you who are this thick skinned: how? I don’t understand it. Don’t you find it tiring? Doesn’t it make you feel like shit when you go back home? Don’t you feel taken advantage of?

  • Perspectivist@feddit.uk
    0·
    9 days ago

    It’s good to keep in mind that not showing emotions doesn’t mean not feeling them. Men don’t generally act that way with each other because there’s a real and always-present danger of actual violence. Disagreements usually either get solved, or we just bury those feelings until someone pushes us over the edge - and then we punch them in the face.

    That’s not an option when you’re a man working with women. You can’t let things escalate because they can take it further than you can. He might be boiling inside, but there’s no outlet for it. We just deal with it and we’re usually quite good at that since we’ve been doing it all our lives.